The Magpie Lord Quotes

“What the fuck, what the fucking, bloody devil-shit, what in the name of Satan's swollen cock was that?”
― K.J. Charles, The Magpie Lord

“When I fuck you, Mr. Day, it will not be briefly. It will be long and hard and extremely thorough. I'm going to take pains with you.”
― K.J. Charles, The Magpie Lord

“When I have you, sweet boy, it will be because you want me to. Not against your better judgment, not in spite of my surname, and definitely not to annoy your aunt."

Stephen went red, but his voice was defiant. "Well, what was that, then?"

Crane shrugged. "You seemed tense.”
― K.J. Charles, The Magpie Lord

“I am in the process of nailing Mr. Humphrey Griffin to the wall so thoroughly that future generations will mistake him for a tapestry,...”
― K.J. Charles, The Magpie Lord

“Two death sentences? Really? I mean, you look very well, considering.”
― K.J. Charles, The Magpie Lord

“There is something very old and odd and quite unpleasant about this house."
"Yes, its Graham."
Stephan grinned and followed him into the long room.”
― K.J. Charles, The Magpie Lord

“If you’re going to be insolent, at least pour me coffee.” “It’s brewing. Like trouble.”
― K.J. Charles, The Magpie Lord

“You wanted me to fuck you, didn't you?"

Stephen shut his eyes. "Briefly."

Crane lowered his head so his mouth was right on Stephen's ear, voice vibrating, teeth and tongue touching the sensitive flesh. "When I fuck you, Mr. Day, it will not be briefly. It will be long and hard and extremely thorough. I'm going to take pains with you.”
― K.J. Charles, The Magpie Lord

“There are a number of recommended methods of dealing with ghosts—salt and iron, harmonic resonance, some people swear by exorcism, and not just the priests—but that's the fist time I've seen anyone try a left hook.”
― K.J. Charles, The Magpie Lord

“Heroic," Crane told Baines contemptuously. "Old women, idiot children, bound men, you'll take on all comers. There's a three-legged stray dog hangs around the lanes here. Perhaps someday you could work up to kicking that.”
― K.J. Charles, The Magpie Lord

“There's no good doing the right thing unless you stop people doing the wrong thing.”
― K.J. Charles, The Magpie Lord

“What the fuck, what the fucking, bloody devil-shit, what in the name of Satan’s swollen cock was that?”
― K.J. Charles, The Magpie Lord

“I am in the process of nailing Mr. Humphrey Griffin to the wall so thoroughly that future generations will mistake him for a tapestry,” said Crane.”
― K.J. Charles, The Magpie Lord

“He had always found hope harder to deal with than despair. Despair didn't get disappointed.”
― K.J. Charles, The Magpie Lord

“When I have you, sweet boy, it will be because you want me to. Not against your better judgement, not in spite of my surname, and definitely not to annoy your aunt.”
― K.J. Charles, The Magpie Lord

“Have you seen the mummies at the British Museum?”
“The Egyptian ones? No, not yet. But they have a similar thing in China.”
“Did you ever imagine if they started moving? Withered hands reaching towards you and sunken eyes staring?”
“I didn’t, but now I know what I’ll be dreaming about tonight.”
― K.J. Charles, The Magpie Lord

“You’re a very unobtrusive, nondescript little man.”
“Er—”
“Except for those eyes of yours,” Crane went on musingly. “And those incredible hands. And that foxy smile. You don’t let it out much, do you? Everything under cover. And then you stop hiding yourself for a moment, and your whole face lights up, and suddenly I can see just how you’ll look when I fuck you.”
― K.J. Charles, The Magpie Lord

“The house is decaying, the furnishings are museum pieces, half the staff are consumed with loathing of me out of loyalty to my father, or because I remind them of my brother. In any case, they're people who lived in the same house as Hector when there are perfectly good ditches to die in, which tells you as much as you need to know.”
― K.J. Charles, The Magpie Lord

“Two death sentences? Really? I mean, you look very well, considering.”

Crane grinned at him. “One was in absentia. One wasn’t, and I spent three days in a condemned cell. I can’t recommend the experience.”

“And—did you say a smuggler?”

“That was what the death sentences were for.”
― K.J. Charles, The Magpie Lord

“There are a number of recommended methods of dealing with ghosts—salt and iron, harmonic resonance, some people swear by exorcism, and not just the priests—but that's the first time I've seen anyone try a left hook.”
― K.J. Charles, The Magpie Lord

“When I have you, sweet boy, it will be because you want me”
― K.J. Charles, The Magpie Lord

“We can all kill people. I could have put a pillow over your face while you slept at any time in the last twenty years, and I’m struggling to recall why I haven’t.”
― K.J. Charles, The Magpie Lord

“knocked on the door in a restrained, calm, steady fashion for about five minutes without stopping, until his knuckles were getting sore.”
― K.J. Charles, The Magpie Lord

“Someone wanted to choke me to death on my own hair?”
― K.J. Charles, The Magpie Lord

“Stephen, you’re the only spark of light I’ve encountered in this whole vile country. You’re extraordinary. You’re valuable. And I don’t want you to die because of me.”
― K.J. Charles, The Magpie Lord

“I’m here, and I’m not leaving you, and anyone who comes after you will have to get past me first.”
― K.J. Charles, The Magpie Lord

“Stephen,” said Crane thickly. Stephen was back at his side in two steps. “What?” “I can’t move.” Stephen’s chest contracted. “Can’t move at all? Try and take a step forward.” “I can’t.”
― K.J. Charles, The Magpie Lord

“there are a number of recommended methods of dealing with ghosts—salt and iron, harmonic resonance, some people swear by exorcism, and not just priests—but that’s the first time I’ve seen anyone try a left hook.”
― K.J. Charles, The Magpie Lord

“The grey awful misery tangled round his heart and throat, choking him, sickening him with the vileness of his own nature. The shame and self-loathing too deep for repentance, too deep for words. Too deep for anything but the knife and the red flow and the longed-for emptiness of the end... The voice seemed to come from a long distance away. “My lord? My lord! Oh, Jesus. My lord! You stupid sod!”
― K.J. Charles, The Magpie Lord

“But one of the ways the rich stay rich is by not spending anything.” “I knew I was doing something wrong,”
― K.J. Charles, The Magpie Lord