Armed and Dangerous Quotes

“He was everything your mother warned you about when she told you not to walk alone in the dark.”
― Nenia Campbell, Armed and Dangerous

“I'm pretty sure those're my balls you've found,” I said to the man searching my pants. “You gonna count 'em out now? Because I'll save you the trouble. There's two.”
― Nenia Campbell, Armed and Dangerous

“I had a fucking standing ovation going on in my goddamn pants, and it was demanding an encore.”
― Nenia Campbell, Armed and Dangerous

“I'm not going to force you into anything you don't want. But I'm also not going to take a vow of chastity and pine away for you, or whatever the hell it is that men do in romance novels these days. I have needs. I'd rather satisfy them with you, but if you don't want me I suppose I'll just have to find someone else. Might take me a while, but I'll make do. I always have before.”
― Nenia Campbell, Armed and Dangerous

“Life's a party. So smile and eat shit and pretend it's fucking caviar.”
― Nenia Campbell, Armed and Dangerous

“We both want you dead. I'm bringing the friendship bracelets to the next meeting.”
― Nenia Campbell, Armed and Dangerous

“All right,” she said a little sarcastically. “I was going to assume you liked eating babies and sacrificing virgins, but I might as well ask, what do you do for fun?”

“I languish in sin,” I replied in the same tone. “I take my babies rare, and my virgins over easy.”
― Nenia Campbell, Armed and Dangerous

“No. I made that choice. I let all that anger and pain get twisted up in my thoughts for you.” He leaned in. “It fucking kills me. Every night. I relive what I did to you every night.” His forehead rested against mine. “Until you,” he said softly, “I never felt truly helpless.”
― Nenia Campbell, Armed and Dangerous

“Out running errands—be back before noon. I made a list of some things I like. Check the ones you're interested in, underline any maybes, and cross off your no's. I'm going to do two of the things on that list to you when I get back—your choice. Surprise me.
-M”
― Nenia Campbell, Armed and Dangerous

“Life doesn't come with an eraser. Experiences leave their mark, for better or for worse. Anyone who tells you otherwise has never been hurt.”
― Nenia Campbell, Armed and Dangerous

“When I felt her yield and kiss me back, and realized I had a fighting chance to make this all work out somehow, I had hope.

That was far deadlier than any knife or mace.”
― Nenia Campbell, Armed and Dangerous

“He smelled like alcohol and a bad dream.”
― Nenia Campbell, Armed and Dangerous

“You were a well-respected agent, Michael, a rags-to-riches fairytale ending. Until you became disgraced. Now it appears your own organization wishes to be rid of you. Why is this?”

“My gun turned back into a pumpkin.”
― Nenia Campbell, Armed and Dangerous

“I couldn't tell anyone how I felt because I knew they wouldn't understand. Oh, poor little Christina, falling for the bad man who treats her like dirt because she didn't know any better. And isn't it a pity that they don't still teach sex-ed in schools? Or, oh, Christina, that filthy slut, if she puts out for a man like that, I imagine she puts out for anyone. You stay away from her. It wasn't like that at all. Maybe it would have been easier if it was, just like ticking a box. Are you the Madonna, or the whore? The victim, or the vixen? The Sabine, or the skank?

But nothing in life is ever that simple.”
― Nenia Campbell, Armed and Dangerous

“You must be a blast on long car rides.”

“Oh, I am. You haven't experienced fun until you try to fuck in the front seat of a Civic.”
― Nenia Campbell, Armed and Dangerous

“I was starting to fall in love with Michael Boutilier. Quickly, violently. It was a love that was both armed and dangerous, a ticking time-bomb of destruction that threatened to send my whole world up in flames--and it felt good.”
― Nenia Campbell, Armed and Dangerous

“I fucking love you, you know," he said. "You made my life complicated as fuck, and I could care less.”
― Nenia Campbell, Armed and Dangerous

“I missed you."

My heart stopped. "What?"

"You heard me."

"Please," I said. "No. Don't do this."

"I dreamed about you." Pause. "Every night."

Oh God, I was weak. Weak.”
― Nenia Campbell, Armed and Dangerous

“Welcome to Arizona, you bastard.”
― Nenia Campbell, Armed and Dangerous

“I'd seen entire constellations of possibility I'd never previously been aware of, so blinded had I been by the bright, glaring stars of expectation. Freedom, I was beginning to think, had less to do with where you were, and was more about who you were trying to be.”
― Nenia Campbell, Armed and Dangerous

“I need you alive. I need you breathing." He shook his head. "I need you.”
― Nenia Campbell, Armed and Dangerous

“As if I'd had time to drug it in the two milliseconds she'd let me out of her sight.”
― Nenia Campbell, Armed and Dangerous

“College had once been my greatest aspiration; it stood for everything my mother did not—intellectualism, feminism, freedom. But being kidnapped had given me plenty of time to think, and somewhere between all that fear and dread, I'd realized that was the wrong reason to go to college. That the potential for those things had been inside of me all along, only I'd never realized because I hadn't believed myself strong enough to break free without an intermediary.”
― Nenia Campbell, Armed and Dangerous

“Okay," he said, planting his newly freed hand on the mattress. "I stopped. Now let me tell you what I think. I think you think that if you give in to what I want, and what I suspect you want, I'll make a killer and a whore out of you. You think I'll hurt you if you refuse.”
― Nenia Campbell, Armed and Dangerous

“I wanted to persuade her, but I didn't want to scare her, and I certainly didn't want to make her cry. I wanted her to be safe. I wanted her to be mine. I wanted to have my cake and eat it, too.”
― Nenia Campbell, Armed and Dangerous

“No. Freud said it best, I think, when he said, "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar." Sometimes your mother's boyfriend is just a loser”
― Nenia Campbell, Armed and Dangerous

“His skeptical silence made me shift uncomfortably. I felt like Aladdin, holding his hand out to Jasmine on the magic carpet. A ridiculous comparison under the given circumstances, and yet oddly apt.”
― Nenia Campbell, Armed and Dangerous

“Yes. You're the only thing that matters right now." Michael, swaying a little over me, said, "You're trying to talk yourself into hating me when all I'm trying to do is keep you alive.”
― Nenia Campbell, Armed and Dangerous

“Not yet," he said. "You're beautiful, and it's killing me and I want to die a moment longer. Please.”
― Nenia Campbell, Armed and Dangerous

“That son of a bitch. Looked like my expiration date was sooner than I'd thought. The bastard had fucked me up the ass at my own game.”
― Nenia Campbell, Armed and Dangerous