The Darkest Secret Quotes

“Hate. Huh. He'd never hated himself. If anything, he'd always liked himself a little too much. Once, a human female had even accused him of picturing his own face while he climaxed. He hadn't denied it, either, and next time he'd slept with her, he'd made sure to scream, "Strider" at the pivotal moment."
--Strider, keeper of the demon of Defeat--”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret

“William: I just had the best idea ever. Let's give Maddox a ring.
Paris: You mean propose to him? To grumpy ole Maddox? Willie, why didn't you tell us you're a masochist, who swung that way? You're so delicate, he'll rip you to shreds the moment you climb into his bed. Plus, he's hitched himself to Ashlyn. You try to lay a move on him, and that sweet thang will rearrange your face.
William: I mean call him, you idiot. What's with you tonight? Permanent brain damage? We'll breath heavily and ask him what he's wearing. I bet no one's phone sexed him before.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret

“For a moment, Strider almost forgot how pissed he was with Amun and Haidee as he savored the fact that he'd just cock-blocked the keeper of Death. Almost.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret

“How do we thank an angel? Somehow I don’t think a fruit basket will do the trick." ~ Amun”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret

“CPR dummy looked like him and had clearly been stabbed. Repeatedly. In the groin. He thought she might have used the dummy for target practice, and tried not to be offended. Key word: tried.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret

“William untucked the covers and stood, making a mental list of everything he'd need for the coming trip. A few blades, serrated and non serrated. A vial of acid. A bone saw. A spiked paddle. A cat-o'-nine-tails. And a bag of Gummy Bears.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret

“Stridey-Man: " Want 2 vaca w/me?"
William: "Romantic getaway for 2? UR not my type"
Stridey-Man: "I'm everyone's type. So U in or out? 'Cause I'm thinking about hooking up w/P, wherever he is. U'd just B extra baggage."
William: "In"
Stridey: "Knew you couldn't resist me. B ready in 5."
William: "Right on. Make it 10. I want 2 style my hair for U. U know, just how U like it."
Stridey: "Now U only have 8 minutes 2 do UR hair.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret

“William: You're just gonna have to take who I give you and deal
Paris: Like anyone would pick you over me.
William: You just wait and see. I'll have every single on of them eating out of my hand.
Paris: Only if you had one of those delicious fried Twinkies.

Strider rolled his eyes. Egotistical morons. Anyone with a set of eyes could see that Strider was the pretty one in their little three-some.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret

“I cannot kill him, she muttered to herself. I cannot kill him. I promised Bianka I'd stop at ten bodies a day, and I've already surpassed my quota for the fifth day in a row. I cannot kill him.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret

“Strider's bedroom "The only thing hanging on the wall that wasn't a weapon was the portrait just over the bed. No. Not true, he thought then. The portrait was a weapon, too. Of seduction. In it Strider was utterly naked and whisking through the cloads like an avenging angel. He was holding a teddy bear in one hand and a stream of pink ribbons in the other. Anya had given him the nearly life-size monstrasity as a joke. But the joke was on her. He loved the thing.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret

“Give me the effing phone, Strider grumbled, opening his palm and waving his fingers.
Effing? William laughed with genuine amusement. You ever realize how polite you get when you're hammered? And you know what they say. A man's true charactor is revealed when he's toasted. So you gotta face facts, man. You're a closet gentlmen. Loser!
The heck I am!
Even Paris laughed at that.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret

“For gods' sake, Strider," Torin snapped. "Open your mouth and form some words. While you're at it, stop staring at the angel like he's a tasty treat.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret

“People stared. Maybe because they were giants compared to everyone else, both in height and muscle mass. Maybe because of the telltale bulge of weapons at their waist. Or maybe because William opened a bag of Doritos and ate while he shopped. Hard to tell.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret

“There was a pause, static, a muttered "Give me that," by an indignant female. Then the normally quiet reserved Ashlyn was demanding, "Did you just drunk dial my husband?"
"Yes, ma'am," Strider said, and the other two finally burst into laughter.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret

“I'm king of the World, bitches. Come in here and bask in my glory.(Strider)”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret

“Fried twinkies? Paris nodded. Only once, I've never forgotten the experience. It's like heaven in your mouth, man.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret

“So what. He was made of awesome. Anyone who couldn't see that wasn't smart enough to be with him, anyway.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret

“Strider: Red hots dude. He'd ruin anything for a mouthful of those. Now pull over.
William: Gummy Bears. You should have said so.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret

“On way. He OK? Aeron
Coming. Something wrong? Lucian
Take me out of your address book. William”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret

“We're on vacation, Kaia, Strider grumbled. You weren't invited.
She waved away his words as if they were unimportant. Deep down I know you meant to invite me, so ta-da. Here I am. You're welcome.
It's scary how well you know us. Here, pay for this, William said, dumping his candy into Strider's arms. We'll be in the care. Making out.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret

“Kaia tossed Strider a shut-your-mouth frown before bouncing in her seat. "Do I get to help? Can I? You may not know this, but I'm very handy with a blade of any kind, a hacksaw, a whip, a-"
"Hey! Someone went through my bag," William said.
"So?" Kaia continued, as if William hadn't spoken. "Whatever the weapon, I'm good with it."
He would not be impressed. "We won't be using weapons. We'll be smashing jugulars."
"Oh, oh! We can play Who Can Smash More!"
"No, we can't because you can't help," Stider said at the same time William blurted out, "I'd be disappointed if you didn't help.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret

“What Strider thinks of himself "He was too intense, too jaded, too warped and too...everything for most women to take for long. But so what. He was made of awesome. Anyone who couldn't see that wasn't smart enough to be with him, anyway.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret

“Stridey-Man' asked, Want 2 vacay w/me?
William snorted as he typed. Romantic getaway for 2? UR not my type, dickwad.
Fuck U. i'm everybody's types. So U in or out?Last chance in or out?
In
Knew U couldn't resist me. B ready in 5.
Right on. Make it 10. I want 2 style my hair for U. U know, just how U like it.
ASSHOLE.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret

“And at one point (cough) walking into a chicks knife (cough), he'd finally won.
'I'm king of the world, bitches. Come in here and bask in my glory.' His voice echoed through the foyer, expectant eager.
-Strider”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret

“Back up. What questions? (Amun)
Everything you asked me and more. (Haidee)
Such as? (Amun)
A blush stained her cheeks.
Like was I going to have telepathic sex with you at the dinner table. Did I know how to cook something other than a PB and J. Was I ok with naked Thursdays.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret

“He reclined on a delightfully cushioned lounge in the sprawling ranch Paris had rented. In Dallas, Texas, of all places. Promiscuity had decked himself out, too, wearing a Stetson (weird), no shirt (understandable), unfastened jeans (smart) and cowboy boots (weird again). Dude looked ready to rustle cattle or something.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret

“Strider: "Pull Over," he commanded.
"What?" William flicked him a now's-not-the-time-to-joke glance. "We just got a little peace and quiet and you want to ruin it all just to piss? You're such a baby."
"Red Hots, dude." He'd ruin ANYTHING for a mouthful of those. "Now pull the fuck over."
"Oh, Gummy Bears. You should have said so.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret

“Anya made you kiss her?
Yeah. And at our next stop, I'll expect you to deliver.
I'll pay, William piped up. After you describe everything about that kiss you two shared. Did you cop a feel? You did, didn't you, you little hussy. I bet you moaned a lot, too.
Too late for you to pay, she said in a sing song voice. Strider already offered, and I already accepted. And no, I won't do any describing. You can just imagine how sexy it was. Oh, and Willie. Just so you know, your imagination won't do it justice.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret

“Kaia darling, Willaim said, nearly leaping over a stand of beef jerky in his haste to reach her. Are you here to fight the strippers who just enjoyed hours of my company?
Hardly, she said, tossing her glorious mane of hair over her shoulder with a single flip of her wrist. I'm here to thank them for keeping you occupied. Please tell me they're still with you.”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret

“He gave her what no one else had ever been able to give. A past to cherish. A present to
enjoy. A future to anticipate”
― Gena Showalter, The Darkest Secret