Cpt Hawk > Recent Status Updates

Hell breaking loose? In MY gay political machinations space opera?? It's more likely than you'd think!

Okay so I was wrong

Oh yay, great, a classic ... end a chapter on a high note and then proceed to open up with an long, ominous, expository paragraph that SURELY has nothing to do with our heroes because what's that? This character's new. It'd be a shame if this new person mentioned they were involved with organizations previously mentioned suspect for possible motives of sabotage & sneakery .... sure hope this doesn't mean anything ...

Yskandr in the background, probably sitting in a camping chair: Heeeeey! You two should kiss!
Mahit: In the middle of alien negotiations?!
Three Seagrass: Yeah, Mahit, we should kiss :( Don't worry, babe! I can handle the aliens!
Yskandr: Yeah, Mahit, she can handle the aliens, come on. :/

This is like watching a particularly vicious tennis match. Or badminton? Maybe swords are involved. The girls aren't just fighting, oh no--they're sabotaging, murdering, dooming people, destroying precious history, going rogue with their great powers, etc., etc. You know. Typical girls' night!

MY Mahit? Attack a fleet captain she's just met on accident? Tragically yes. And the girl's barely started rolling for stupidity. (My god Mahit you're so much better than your 1st book self.)

Okay girlies, I'll bite. Methinks it's smooching time.

Arkady seeing Murderbot watch serials maybe: Hmm okay alright yep yep don't worry about it I am taking notes

WHEN WILL MURDERBOT BE LOVED AND CRADLED LIKE A BABY!!!!!

Oh Hunter, you are going to LOVE this! >:3

"I've never worked with a SecUnit before--I've never seen or interacted with a SecUnit before--"

LMAO well THIS is a load-bearing, plot-saving detail if I've ever seen one

Watching Murderbot feud with a giant ship about what shows they'll watch together ...... is not something I knew I needed in my life before now ..........

I swear, if Yskandr's fucked another historically important government official--

Well. Slut rights. Yskandr will have to be a kind of reference for Ludis lmao

ACTUAL characterization? From MY Arkady Martine? Damn she really is swinging at all the faults of Book 1

"Information," said Nine Hibiscus, "talks to aliens as a habit. All of that bullshit with 'Dispatches From the Numinous Frontier,' xenophile poetry and philosophy? These things can't fuck with Information's head, Information comes prefucked."

Miss Martine I'm gonna need you to slow the roll of your swag prithee, this is so much. xD

"Indeed, the strength of non-monogamy as an ideal created a sexual milieu a friend once described saying, "Everyone's *real* relationship is with their therapist."

LMAO. Horrible setup for polyamory also but ya know

BILITIS! NO! NAUGHTY! GOOD LORD! The one (1) lesbian breakup to villain pipeline--

Good god, Bilitis is in her villain era

Incredibly gay and artistic ways to say "play with my tits" are being explored here. Incredible work.

Of course on page 69, we would have a poem about .... well. You know. ;)

A lot of interesting things in this book. Ever wonder about the necessity of 19th and 20th century marriage manuals to persuade men to engage in less marital rape? Boy do I have a story for you--

"Best advice I ever got ... you have to go the way your blood beats. If you don't live the only life you have, you won't live some other life, you won't live any life at all. That's the only advice you can give anybody. And it's not advice, it's an observation."

Alright so we're starting out strong!

NOT THE GRANDMA FROM THE FIRST ISSUE MAKING A COMEBACK

This is a very serious story but not more serious than this one incredibly hilarious and ironic panel--

Oh yeah, baby. Here's money. The incredibly hot sapphic exes plot. UGH.

Man, I remember when Motor Crush was big on the internet. I see why now .... one hell of a plot we got going on at 30 pages ... motorcycle gangs, drug-dealing but not for people, for motorcycle engines in high profile, high-stakes professional races ... and oh my god the women are EXCEEDINGLY hot. Great heavens. I need to be put in a straitjacket.

Man I know I'm biased but I forgot how fun this series is. Hot diggety-damn, hello my favorite seven book subplot <3

Who would win? Mother Malkin, a powerful not-dead-enough witch? Or Tom Ward, a twelve year-old idiot apprentice guided not by wisdom but instead his farmer-dad's hard work ethic, which guides him to do insane things like hunt murderous literally child-eating witches despite having absolutely no skill in the trade because he accidentally released said witch?

if they didn't want me falling in love with the witch alice, why'd they make her so damn cool. UGH. I LOVE YOU ALICE. you take every "feral" character on tumblr and make them look stupid and boring. eeheehee i loooovvvveee youuuuuuu

Mkay. There's gonna be a lot of reasons I'll jot down as to why this is a Good and Essential wlw book, but tippy-top right now is gonna be the bit where there's a whole section geared towards the issue of not knowing what you like or don't like, and even not knowing how to tell, and then giving you very simple SFW exercises to figure out when your body is telling you no or yes. EXCUSE ME?????? HELLO???????????