Sofie > Recent Status Updates

well this development certainly isn't hurting my theory that keishuk will end up trying to usurp and/or kill su-won at some point....

i am so delighted to realize, 32 volumes in, that the love triangle between our 3 main characters has never been centered on yona. *hak* has always been the nexus. i think su-won loves him differently than yona does, but it's love nonetheless, and i do think it's stronger than the affection he's felt/still feels for yona. god i just love this trio, they're endlessly fascinating from every angle

oh i'm gonna walk into the ocean what do you MEAN su-won only feels safe to confide in yona about seeing hak and gulfan bc he's convinced that it's a DREAM????? bc there's no possible way that she would hold him like that otherwise?????????? my heart is so broken for him he's so alone

su-won has always loved hak more than yona and no one can convince me otherwise!!!!!! i think we're about to see more su-won and yona moments now but i will stand strong

i'm once again determined to finish this volume and i am already emo over a falcon forehead touch

niibashi continues to be the mvp of this story, he is perpetually struggling but always ready to help kagi with whatever batshit thing he throws his way. the third spinoff should be all about him and his definitely queer escapades in fashion school (i think that's what he wants to do?? unless i'm making that up)

i think i remember cg drews using a similar "gap in memories" plot device in don't let the forest in, but i think that can get tricky bc it can make the reader get frustrated with questions of "okay but why won't character b just tell character a what they don't remember?" but with so much of this book being about reclaiming autonomy, i actually like that laurie seems to want evander to remember for himself. it works

okay SICK so he's definitely noticed!!!! and he's *pondering*
their dynamic is so juicy and full of messy desire and hunger UGH i love it

i wonder how long it'll take evander to notice that laurie has literally jumped on every single opportunity to protect him from his family of vultures. he has complicated feelings towards evander obviously but it's also pretty clear that he's sickened by how he's been treated all these years

OH WHAT THE FUCK??? so they’re both insane and have always been obsessed with each other cool cool cool and byron DEFINITELY gave evander the worst of his wounds. cause it seems like laurie was responsible for the initial head gash but not his stomach being fucking torn open……but WHY?? did the garden get INSIDE of him and byron wanted to dissect it?? which is why he has all the surgeries??? my brain is spinning

the horror of medical abuse and having your agency and autonomy taken away from you under the guise of “protection” is SO strong here i love it

okay so not just that but ALSO the intense desire to overcome his fear and trauma and be wild and free and bite and fight back and ALL of that is centered on laurie who he also is clearly attracted to MMMMHMMMMMM cg drews you have done it again, their ability to write the intersections of love and desire and hunger and obsession is unmatched

at first i was a bit unconvinced about evander supposedly being obsessed with laurie but NOW it makes perfect sense and i’m so here for it. of course he’s absolutely mesmerized by this person who has such ironclad control over his emotions (which i’m sure is a byproduct of his own terrible experiences and potential abuse/neglect) when evander himself is constantly made to feel like an erratic child

evander were you by chance wearing a fuck ass yellow blouse when you were buried alive or

i hope this doesn’t end tragically but i am already preparing myself for the worst 🫡

one thing about me is that i love a nuzzle
anytime i see or read about a character nuzzling into someone’s touch i am going to eat that shit up and ask for seconds mmmhmmmmm

watching hirano slowly (and i mean SLOWLY) but surely coming to the realization that what he feels for kagi is love even despite his disinterest in most physical forms of affection is making me kick my damn feet. i know he still has a ways to go but it’s so nice to reread the start of that process

i’ve already read these chapters through unofficial translations but i’m excited to have them in my hands and officially translated!!! this is one of my all time favorite comfort series so i thought it’d be a perfect palate cleanser after icarus and before the next novel i jump into

“understanding you has been the hardest thing i’ve ever had to do” god these chapters fucking HIT after so many pages of impotent rage and anxiety and fear and pain. i’m feeling this overdue catharsis right alongside icarus and i’m so fucking proud of him for finally expressing it all

also icarus’ name actually referring to a fern instead of the mythic figure completely flips the metaphor on its head. instead of being burnt by the sun (helios) and plummeting to his death, he grows toward its light

okay getting the confirmation that icarus’ name is not even referring to the myth and so helios was only named as a matching pair bc of the fucked up tragedy of the parents is SO good. it was never icarus and helios’ tragedy. they inherited it all, all the way down to their names. and so they will absolutely be able to escape from that destiny i’m sure of it now (thank god)

……..ally? angus? ally? he’s still a Horrible father but the tenderness he can very rarely show icarus makes the abusive situation that much more difficult to recognize and accept

i plan on finishing this book today if it doesn’t send me into another breakdown so wish me luck

okay NOW i'm back, you've just gotta recenter the tragic bromance and the mystery of yu-hon's death and i am LOCKED IN

i usually jump for joy whenever there's a more hak-focused arc but trying to return to this volume after a few weeks of reading other stuff is proving to be near impossible. i'm still very excited to see where the greater arc goes now that everyone's back at the palace, but this little in-between section where hak is separated from everyone else and climbing the ranks of the army is really not grabbing me

i am suddenly sick to my stomach and overwhelmed with terror that this will end in tragedy like the original myth and i won’t be able to handle that i really fucking won’t

okay yeah i’m back on the helios train this is INSANE. all of icarus’ yearning is so visceral but i love how distinct it is between each of the characters he’s closest with. with helios it is most definitely a sexual, embodied desire

no i’m so in love with them actually sorry helios but this is endgame in my mind

yeah okay so i was still right in my original assessment of the abuse cool awesome sick this isn’t making me ill at all

okay i love helios and icarus but this polycule is perhaps even more buzzy