Jessica

“She'd made him watch every Alien movie. Most of the goriest scenes were accompanied by his dialogue: 'Ach, that's no' - that's just no' right.... Bloody hell, this canna be right.”
― Kresley Cole, A Hunger Like No Other

“It's a kilt, dumbass. It's only a skirt if I'm wearing underwear.”
― Damon Suede, Hot Head

“You done with work?
Yep, at home waiting for you.
Now that's a nice visual...
Prepare yourself, I'm taking bread out of the oven.
Don't tease me woman...zucchini?
Cranberry orange. Mmmm...
No woman has ever done breakfast bread foreplay the way you do.
Ha! When you coming?
Can't. Drive. Straight.
Can we have one conversation when you're not twelve?
Sorry, I'll be there in 30
Perfect, that will give me time to frost my buns.
Pardon me?
Oh, didn't I tell you? I also made cinnamon rolls.
Be there in 25.”
― Alice Clayton, Wallbanger

“Lie down and offer your throat. No, wait, that's how dogs submit. I know! Offer her you're wallet!" Oberon”
― Kevin Hearne, Trapped