Melissa

“A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.”
― Jerry Seinfeld

“Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.”
― Erma Bombeck

“When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911. ”
― Erma Bombeck

“There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it.”
― Erma Bombeck