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The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands

3.72  ·  Rating details ·  15,491 ratings  ·  1,955 reviews
In her most provocative book yet, Dr. Laura urgently reminds women that to take proper care of their husbands is to ensure themselves the happiness and satisfaction they yearn for in marriage.

Women want to be in love, get married, and live happily ever after. Yet disrespect for men and disregard for the value, feelings, and needs of husbands has fast become the standard fo
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Paperback, 208 pages
Published September 26th 2006 by Harper Perennial (first published December 30th 2003)
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Katie O'Farrell It is about how you should treat your husband and how to exist in a mutually respectful and loving relationship. It is not vulgar or sex based.
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3.72  · 
Rating details
 ·  15,491 ratings  ·  1,955 reviews


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Malbadeen
Jun 18, 2007 rated it did not like it
Recommended to Malbadeen by: my ex-husband
My ex-husband brought this book home from work, for "no reason". I read it....right before the divorce.
Skylar Burris
Dec 23, 2007 rated it it was ok
Shelves: marriage
After re-reading this a second time, I lowered my rating from three to two stars and edited this review. This book does have some very valuable reminders, but if you want to learn and apply the same useful tidibits without having to endure the verbal beating of women as a group, without being subject to a double standard, and without being left with the impression that the woman is what’s wrong with every marriage conflict that has ever occurred since 1960, then read For Women Only instead.

My m
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Susie
Apr 15, 2008 rated it really liked it
I really liked the no-nonsense approach to this book. Throughout the book, I kept thinking of other names she could've titled this book. Here are a few:

*Stop being selfish you lousy wench

*You are not the center of the universe

*Duh, he's your husband. Not a doormat

*First you were Bridezilla, now you are Wifezilla

*You're not very likable. You're husband must be a saint

*Get a real life, soon please

*Change now or be single soon

*Are you mean or just stupid?
Jessica (thebluestocking)
Mar 10, 2008 rated it did not like it
Recommended to Jessica (thebluestocking) by: Aubrey
The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands is based on the premise that men are simple and rather stupid. The thesis then, on that basis, is "give him direct communication, respect, appreciation, food, and good lovin', and he'll do just about anything you wish--foolish or not."

Dr. Laura Schlessinger demeans men throughout the book, constantly noting that a man is "inexorably dependent upon the approval, appreciation, and acceptance" of the woman. That may be true, but his self-worth is and should b
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Kelly Lamb
Aug 24, 2007 rated it did not like it
Shelves: nonfiction
I was given this book as a "gift" as I am getting married next month. I am actually somewhat offended by the person who gave it to me! Dr. Laura's basic points are good (respect your partner, communicate clearly, don't nag, etc.), but her methods are enough to make me cringe. This is 180 pages of her telling women to quit their jobs (because nature intends for you to raise kids, not work!) and skirt their own needs (in most cases) for the sake of pleasing their husbands. I'm all for stay-at-home ...more
Tabitha
Mar 12, 2008 rated it it was amazing
My sister-in-law recommended this book to me, and I recommend it to all wives in turn. Dr. Laura gives it to you straight and undiluted. Although sometimes painful to swallow (like a strong medicine rather than a poison), I have learned so much about how I can make my marriage stronger and be a better support to my husband thereby strengthening my family.

Her values coincide with my own beliefs on both a personal and spiritual level. For instance, Dr. Laura asserts that there are innate differen
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Elissa
Jan 25, 2008 rated it really liked it
Shelves: read-in-2008
I'm actually only halfway through this, but it has already changed my attitude toward my husband and marriage. I was somewhat skeptical starting this book, since I don't love listening to Dr. Laura or anything. But she really has a gift at uncovering people's motivations and showing them for what they really are. It made me realize why I have been doing (and not doing) certain things with regard to my husband. Most of these things were based on certain beliefs or attitudes that I didn't really r ...more
Laura
Mar 28, 2008 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I really enjoyed this book. It is not often you come across a New York time Best seller that promotes the value of marriage and the important role we have as husband and wife in a marriage. She really talks about how society has become so feminisitic and men suffer because of it. She talks about how women want equal rights as men; however, they still want men to be the same that they always have been. She talks about how in relationships we on certain levels think our husbands our responsible fo ...more
Anna
Jan 28, 2008 rated it did not like it
Recommends it for: Dr. Laura fans
Shelves: avon-book-club
I read this for a book club and it was very different from what I had expected. I was put-off by the title and felt it was condescending toward men. I quickly discovered that it was very different than my impression from the title. I found Dr. Laura to be extremely harsh and found it difficult to get through each page. Ever several pages, there seemed to be one sentence that I completely, 100% agreed with. But her delivery of the message is so abrasive. I felt like she was trying to teach women ...more
Cindy
Apr 17, 2008 rated it it was amazing
Recommended to Cindy by: every married woman and a few husbands I am related to.
This book has really opened my eyes to my bad habits and mean behaviors towards my very loyal, loving and respectful husband. Dr. Laura is not for everyone, and some more liberal in their approach and beliefs about dating are often offended. I also find her hard to listen to on the radio at times because she is so straight to the point and candid, and at times "jerky" in how she talks to her listeners. Be that as it may, she has pegged the female community. She has pegged me. Since I have begun ...more
Amber
Jun 28, 2007 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
A good reminder that we need to have an attitude of service in our marriage. That we are together to take care of each other and not only to have our spouse take care of us.
This book was not at all what I expected it to be, it was a lot better. I'll be honest I'm not a Dr. Laura fan normally, but I found this book to be exactly what my marriage needed. It laid out in "women-speak" why men need the things they do and don't need the things we want them to. It bluntly says that if you (the wife) ar
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Anne
Jun 10, 2008 rated it it was ok
Wanna save some money??

Here's the book in a nutshell - become a Stepford wife.

In other words buy yourself some valium so that you will become numb emotionally and then cater to your husband's every need, wish, and desire no matter how difficult, inconvenient, or self-sacrificing it might become in order for you to do so. Make sure you constantly stroke his ego, ask him to do all the little things that would be faster or easier for you to do yourself and don't nag or complain at all (even if he
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Jayci
May 08, 2008 rated it it was amazing
Dr. Laura is a very harsh woman. With that being said...I loved this book. What can be more important than a happy home? I understand that many woman feel that Dr. Laura has joined forces with the men, but if you take what she offers....we, as women, will be happier. We will get what we desire from our husbands...their love and concern. I don't see her as a traitor, but as a woman wanting to make our lives easier and our marriages more successful. How rude! By the way...why is it so painful for ...more
Hoku Ho
Jan 01, 2008 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: Women looking to recharge their relationship with or learn more about the psyche of their husband.
I really found this book to be helpful. There is a lot of popular opinion out there about the roles of a man vs. a woman in a marriage, many of them promoting entitlement and selfishness in women. What is refreshing about this book is that Dr. Laura doesn't coddle her readers...she calls women to the carpet for their role in the deterioration of the quality and excitement of their marriages.
The best thing about this book, however, is the way she helps explain the power that women have over thei
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Jessica
Jun 30, 2008 rated it it was amazing
I loved this book! It changed my life. I have a much better attitude about my marriage and my husband and all that he does for me. I highly recommend this book to everyone.
Jenny
Jul 28, 2009 rated it did not like it
Recommends it for: the rubbish bin
Recommended to Jenny by: those I will never listen to again
I hid this book from my husband so he wouldn't know I was reading it. Then I threw it out to destroy the evidence that I fell for the hype.

I found this book horribly insulting and demeaning toward men. Why do we have to insult men every time we talk about them? Feed 'em like clockwork and bang 'em -- that's all they want. Okay now, we all like food and sex, but ALL human beings have more sophisticated needs, Doc.

I find this type of sexism -- that men are nothing more than animals (and women can
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Jessica
Jan 06, 2008 rated it it was ok
alright. i just finished this last night, and i'm still a little conflicted as to what i thought about it. if i could i'd probably give it 2 1/2 stars, but i'll admit that i had a definite bias going into reading the book because i can't stand dr. laura.

that being said, i can genuinely say that there were a few good points brought up in the book. namely that wives ought to treat their husbands with the love, honor, and respect they deserve. i also agree with her basic assumption that men and wo
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Stacey
Dec 26, 2007 rated it liked it
OK, I know how this title sounds. Trust me, when a friend passed it on to me, I almost burned it on the spot along with my bra collection. But once I started skimming it, I sort of liked it and ended up reading the whole thing on a plane ride home from California (hey, one can only read Skymall so many times). The author's argument is based on the somewhat iffy logic that men are like dogs: eager to please, but not so much if you are mean to them. This book could be titled "Stop Being Such a Bit ...more
Julie Daines
Feb 10, 2008 rated it did not like it
If there is a rating less than one star this book deserves it. I found almost nothing in this book that was helpful. I found a lot of Dr. Laura being condescending, unsympathetic and self-righteous. The examples in the book are so extreme and seem to represent the freaks of the world and not regular people who just want to improve their regular marriage. If you want help with your relationship read "The 5 Love Languages" or something else. This book is a waste of time.
Karen Hanson
Feb 21, 2012 rated it really liked it
Shelves: favorites
My mom gave me this book years ago and just by looking at the title I was a little offended. I was prepared to hate this book. I tend towards more feministic views of the world and thought this would be a book full of demeaning drivel. But, I decided to go into it with an open mind and give it a chance.

If you look at Schlessinger's REAL message here, it's not one of "submit to your husband and be a good little wifey." I think there are some great reminders of what makes a good wife and what wil
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Traci
Jun 20, 2009 rated it did not like it
Shelves: tried-to-read
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Ivy
Oct 12, 2007 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: Women who are looking for a great way to make their relationship better.
This book sparked conroversy in my family. One half of us thought the book made good points and put the way we treated our men in to perspective. The other half of us thought that this approach was unrealistic. Overall, my feeling about the book really cross over to real life for me. Although, I am not willing to go as far as she recommends for some things...I am my father's stubborn daughter. I work in a dental office and my first few weeks were very difficult for me. The Doctors are really gre ...more
Elizabeth
Jul 23, 2008 rated it liked it
Shelves: adult, marriage
I am almost ashamed to admit it, but I didn't think this book was that terrible. I had to skim some repetitive (and occasionally shrill) portions, but it had some good things to say. Upon reading it, I reflected on how I could be a better wife. I also recognized myself in some of the listener comments and felt convicted about times that I don't appreciate Sam for the wonderful man that he is. The author gets a bit of a bad rap for her purported hypocrisy, requiring things of women that she does ...more
Kristine
Oct 27, 2007 rated it it was ok
Recommends it for: all couples, wives
Ok, first of all I don't agree with everything in the book -- but after I read the book I had the best 6 weeks of my marriage, so take it for what it's worth. Also I like to give this book as a wedding gift. I wish I had read this book when I first got married -- it really helps with expectations and would have helped me to see things through her perspective.
Stephanie
Feb 18, 2008 rated it liked it
Recommends it for: women who have been married over a year, preferrably with children
I read this book because several friends recommended it to me (including my husband -- he thinks he's so funny). At first, I was totally enthralled. I really liked her interpretation of the downfalls of the feminist movement. It made me think. I could really see how my perspective on marriage and gender roles in general were affected by feminism. I declared that I would embrace my role as wife and mother and all that it entails!
After this new idea wore off (about 10 pages in), I began to just f
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Tawni
Apr 17, 2008 rated it really liked it
LOved this book. It made me treat Adam better, which makes it a great book to me! I think it mostly just makes wives realize how much their husbands do for them, but we take for granted. I would recommend this book to ANY wife out there!
Janet
Feb 22, 2009 rated it it was ok
Recommends it for: Unmarried Feminists
I vacillate between 2 and 3 stars on this The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, a thrift store find. I’ve witnessed the oos and ahhs over Dr. Laura. Not into talk radio, and always into taking proper care of my own husband, I purchased this cheap opportunity to “hear” Dr. L visually on a subject of importance.

Written like one of her radio shows, excerpts from callers mingle with Dr. Laura’s advice. Simplified, Dr. Laura’s recommendations and admonishments focus primarily on sex and food. Her
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Cari F.
Feb 03, 2008 rated it it was ok
This is not a book I would have picked up on my own but it was on my book group list for this month. I'm not a big self help book reader and I don't know if that's because I don't think I need any help or because I don't want to admit I need help. I have never listened to Dr. Laura before so I had no idea she was such an anti feminist! This surprised me a bit as most outspoken women in the world today seem to take quite the opposite approach. This isn't what bothered me as those of you who know ...more
Aimee
May 17, 2010 rated it it was amazing
I remember reading this book when I first got married and really enjoying it. But now since I have been married for 5 years I decided to read it again and it did not disappoint! Now I know Dr. Laura can be harsh at times and while listening to her radio show, I agree that sometimes she doesn't listen to her callers, but this book has such truth to it! A great quote I got out of it was, "Maybe there is a part of the small boy that never leaves a grown man, I don't know. All I know is that the hus ...more
Sarah
Feb 11, 2009 rated it did not like it
Shelves: self-help
OK, this book was awful! It toally do not agree with the point of view of the author. It was well written, and entertaining though. BUT, the author really does feel like we as wives need to care and feed our husbands, like they are unable to do it themselves.

My favorite example is 2 stories. One a wife is complaining that her husband is gone all the time from work and she never gets to see him. The response is that she should be happy he has a job and can care for her. The second story a husband
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Laura Catherine Schlessinger (born January 16, 1947) is an American talk radio host, socially conservative commentator and author. Her radio program consists mainly of her responses to callers' requests for personal advice and has occasionally featured her short monologues on social and political topics. Her website says that her show "preaches, teaches, and nags about morals, values and ethics".
“Thank God daily for such a terrific guy, mentioning specific qualities for which I’m grateful.     •   Look for daily ways to be a blessing to my husband (trying to understand what pleases him, anticipating his needs, etc.).     •   Chart my menstrual cycle and remind myself on the PMS days that what I’m feeling isn’t true and to keep my mouth shut and let it pass.     •   Avoid books, magazines, and TV shows that describe what marriage, family, and husbands ought to be like, and make a conscious effort to be grateful for things as they are instead of trying to change the people around me.     •   Take responsibility for my own emotional well-being: Stay rested, don’t overcommit and then complain, stay in touch with friends with a positive influence.     •   Stay focused on making a home for my family and remember that this is my highest calling and responsibility, and that it has eternal value. The more I do this, the happier and more content I am.” 0 likes
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