Will

“Randall, the gay alcoholic in the house next door, boldly peeps through my windows. 'Boy, you sure rock in that chair a lot,' he said last week, his face pressed against my screen.
This time I was lying on my bed with Katherine's cats. I'm watching them while she's out of town. I can be very mushy, and he watched me kissing them and saying that all the other cats in the neighborhood were jealous of their beauty.”
― David Sedaris, Theft by Finding: Diaries 1977-2002

“In second grade my second love wrote "I love you" on a scrap of paper and dropped it on my desk as he passed by. He was very shy and sullen. When he moved to another school at the end of the term, I was heartsick. I thought about him all summer. But I learned then that we do outgrow people and our tastes do change. One should not marry until one is older. At least ten.”
― Jane Russell, Jane Russell: My Path and My Detours: An Autobiography

“It’s so pathetic, the tough-guy posturing, but so sinister, because, to put it plainly, that’s how black men die. Insecure, pee-pants white men assume that any disagreement is a life-threatening situation.”
― Lindy West, Shrill: Notes from a Loud Woman

“I'm not a misogynist. I'm a misanthrope. I hate everyone equally.”
― David Sedaris, Theft by Finding: Diaries 1977-2002