Will

“It’s so pathetic, the tough-guy posturing, but so sinister, because, to put it plainly, that’s how black men die. Insecure, pee-pants white men assume that any disagreement is a life-threatening situation.”
― Lindy West, Shrill: Notes from a Loud Woman

“Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it.”
― Amy Sedaris, Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People

“Randall, the gay alcoholic in the house next door, boldly peeps through my windows. 'Boy, you sure rock in that chair a lot,' he said last week, his face pressed against my screen.
This time I was lying on my bed with Katherine's cats. I'm watching them while she's out of town. I can be very mushy, and he watched me kissing them and saying that all the other cats in the neighborhood were jealous of their beauty.”
― David Sedaris, Theft by Finding: Diaries 1977-2002

“I'm not a misogynist. I'm a misanthrope. I hate everyone equally.”
― David Sedaris, Theft by Finding: Diaries 1977-2002