Will

“In second grade my second love wrote "I love you" on a scrap of paper and dropped it on my desk as he passed by. He was very shy and sullen. When he moved to another school at the end of the term, I was heartsick. I thought about him all summer. But I learned then that we do outgrow people and our tastes do change. One should not marry until one is older. At least ten.”
― Jane Russell, Jane Russell: My Path and My Detours: An Autobiography

“It’s so pathetic, the tough-guy posturing, but so sinister, because, to put it plainly, that’s how black men die. Insecure, pee-pants white men assume that any disagreement is a life-threatening situation.”
― Lindy West, Shrill: Notes from a Loud Woman

“The only thing that's worse than people who say "I am what I am" is people who say "I yam what I yam" while doing a Popeye imitation.”
― Ariel Leve, It Could Be Worse, You Could Be Me: Witty Essays on Life's Comic Misfortunes for David Sedaris Fans

“I'm not a misogynist. I'm a misanthrope. I hate everyone equally.”
― David Sedaris, Theft by Finding: Diaries 1977-2002