Luculus

“Someday, Locke Lamora,” he said, “someday, you’re going to fuck up so magnificently, so ambitiously, so overwhelmingly that the sky will light up and the moons will spin and the gods themselves will shit comets with glee. And I just hope I’m still around to see it.”
“Oh please,” said Locke. “It’ll never happen.”
― Scott Lynch, The Lies of Locke Lamora

“I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.”
― Oscar Wilde

“The summer movies are coming out. My advice: just stay home and burn a good book.”
― Stephen Colbert

“NASA scientists have discovered a new form of life,
unfortunately, it won't date them either.”
― Stephen Colbert