Skip Gibson

“Don’t put your wand there, boy!” roared Moody. “What if it ignited? Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!” “Who d’you know who’s lost a buttock?” the violet-haired woman asked Mad-Eye interestedly. “Never you mind, you just keep your wand out of your back pocket!” growled Mad-Eye. “Elementary wand safety, nobody bothers about it anymore . . .” He stumped off toward the kitchen. “And I saw that,” he added irritably, as the woman rolled her eyes at the ceiling.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
― Mark Twain

“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”
― Phyllis Diller

“It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.”
― Marilyn Monroe