Heather

“In my experience, any trend that reaches the point where large organizations are inflicting it on their personnel has a high statistical probability of being stupid.”
― Dave Barry, Lessons From Lucy: The Simple Joys of an Old, Happy Dog

“For all I know, some of my close friends could be dead. The only way to find out would be to call them up and talk to them about what's going on in their lives, and I never do that.

I think this is true of many guys, even the ones who are not Humor Personalities: we do not view talking about our personal lives as an acceptable activity.”
― Dave Barry, Lessons From Lucy: The Simple Joys of an Old, Happy Dog

“Remember this: however bad you think things are today, however awful you consider our leaders to be, however stupid you think your fellow Americans are, this country has seen worse times, including - to name a few - the Civil War, 9/11, the Great Depression, and six seasons of Jersey Shore. We muddled through those times. We will muddle through these.”
― Dave Barry, Lessons From Lucy: The Simple Joys of an Old, Happy Dog

“Sometimes I think the main purpose of professional sports is to give guys something to talk about that does not involve them personally.”
― Dave Barry, Lessons From Lucy: The Simple Joys of an Old, Happy Dog