587 books
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1,120 voters
“It was George the Mailman’s last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope. At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures. At the fourth house, he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, which she closed behind him, and took him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had enough, they went downstairs and she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied, she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup’s bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "But what’s the dollar for?" "Well," she said, "Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you. He said, “Screw him. Give him a dollar.” The breakfast was my idea.”
― Funny Jokes: Ultimate LoL Edition (Jokes, Dirty Jokes, Funny Anecdotes, Best jokes, Jokes for Adults)
― Funny Jokes: Ultimate LoL Edition (Jokes, Dirty Jokes, Funny Anecdotes, Best jokes, Jokes for Adults)
“Reality told us we would fail. But again and again, we fought. We perserved . We rose.”
― Children of Blood and Bone
― Children of Blood and Bone
“They pulled apart when Keefe shouted, "YOU GUYS HAVE TO SEE THIS!"
They ran to the main room and found Keefe standing under the skylight, holding up Mr. Snuggles like it was a baby lion about to be made king. The sparkly red dragon twinkled almost as much as Keefe's eyes as he said, "I went in to check on our boy and found him cuddling with THIS!"
"Isn't that the same dragon Fitz brought to your house that one time?" Dex asked Sophie.
"WHAT?" Keefe shouted. "YOU KNEW AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?!"
"Mr. Snuggles wasn't my secret to share," Sophie said.
"IT'S NAME IS MR. SNUGGLES?! That is... I can't even..." Keefe ran back to Fitz's room shouting, "ARE YOU MISSING YOUR SNUGGLE BUDDY?!"
"Fitz is going to die of embarrassment, you know that, right?" Biana asked.”
― Neverseen
They ran to the main room and found Keefe standing under the skylight, holding up Mr. Snuggles like it was a baby lion about to be made king. The sparkly red dragon twinkled almost as much as Keefe's eyes as he said, "I went in to check on our boy and found him cuddling with THIS!"
"Isn't that the same dragon Fitz brought to your house that one time?" Dex asked Sophie.
"WHAT?" Keefe shouted. "YOU KNEW AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?!"
"Mr. Snuggles wasn't my secret to share," Sophie said.
"IT'S NAME IS MR. SNUGGLES?! That is... I can't even..." Keefe ran back to Fitz's room shouting, "ARE YOU MISSING YOUR SNUGGLE BUDDY?!"
"Fitz is going to die of embarrassment, you know that, right?" Biana asked.”
― Neverseen
“Bad things happen to good people, Zoe. It doesn’t mean you’re bad. It means the universe found a warrior in you. It chose carefully. It’s up to you how to move forward. You can choose to be the victim, or you can choose to be the warrior.”
― Somebody's Daughter
― Somebody's Daughter
“His sister glittered with coils of gemstones, long twisted ropes of pearls and opals and sapphires circling her torso and ankles. Indigo’s only adornment was a necklace woven from dark purple seaweed, which Fathom had made for her last week. He liked it because the color matched her eyes. He liked her because”
― Darkstalker
― Darkstalker
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