Size and the definition of 'attractive'

[Vyanni Krace ~Wisdom of the bitter sea.~]

=^_^=

[[deleted user]]

:D i<3 Rachel. She's so amazing

[Vyanni Krace ~Wisdom of the bitter sea.~]

Yeah.

[[deleted user]]

:) I'm yours

[[deleted user]]

:) I'm yours

[Marlene]

You´re right: She´s AMAZING!
Make that two new fans!

Another exampleof this kind, is a video I found a few years ago. Maybe you know her, maybe you don´t, but I think she´s awesome.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnmbJz...

But you see how people reacted first. That´s just sad.

[Varian Rose]

Here are some examples of artists I like that most people dismiss because of their looks:

Sarah Jezebel Deva is a wonderful singer. People dismiss her because of her weight, but she had a wonderful voice.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlzFq3...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CC97g6...

She used to be Cradle of Filth's backup singer...here's a song with CoF:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaorDs...

Sopor Aeternus & The Ensemble of Shadows is a one-woman band and Anna-Varney is rather...unique. So many people hate on her because of her looks/gender issues/depression. I love her music and think (s)he is a beautiful person.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwsJlU...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYjdnK...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjeeNT...

[€ℒᓰzᗩßℯЋ ツ]

There isn't really a defined definition of the word 'attractive.' It's different for everyone, completely different. What may be attractive for you maybe not be for me, but that doesn't mean we never use the word, a lot of people do, including myself.

Fat people: I know it sounds like a harsh term, but it's like calling a blonde hair girl a 'blonde.' Depending on who it is, it will be taken different.

My opinion: Fat people are just as nice as really skinny people, and the in-betweens (which I would count myself in that category). There isn't really much of a difference between them besides their self-confidence, which is all the world cares about unfortunately, your looks and your self-confidence. That's why most people with abnormally high confidence, gets the most attention and does ridiculous things to get that attention any way necessary.

Anyway, I have nothing against obese people, I just don't understand why they let themselves get like that. I really don't. It's not to be mean, I'm just always asking myself when I see them, "How do them let themselves get like that?" I bet that they have their reasons for being the way they are like medical conditions or genetics, which I can understand. Yet there are those that are fat, like really fat...just because. And I don't get why they would do that to themselves. It just isn't healthy. Like I said before, it's not meant to be offensive in any way, I just don't get why...

[Vyanni Krace ~Wisdom of the bitter sea.~]

'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.'

[[deleted user]]

Amen:)

[Marlene]

It can be really difficult to loose weight you gained. Ever tried a diet? then you get the idea.
Yeah, true. The more you weight, the faster you loose weight, but most people with this problem are not that sporty, which makes it even more difficult to do sports. It´s a vicious circle.

[Lynx ~ 10/1 Never Forgotten, Congratulations! ~ Swag]

Yup. Not only that, but often they don't have much of a say in the matter. It just... happens. Like I know one lady. She used to be a model for Ford. They put her on a diet. I think it was a diet with a lot of potatoes or something. She ended up gaining a lot of weight. Before that she was probably average weight. It took her a lot of work to start loosing weight again. That lady never meant to gain weight to the point where it was dangerous for her health. But it happened. Then there's also things like stress, not knowing what makes up a nutritionally balanced meal, unbalanced hormones, side effects of medication, eating unhealthily(even if you're trying but doing something like getting online low fat foods. Which doesn't mean they're better and they might be lower in nutritional value), lifestyle changes, skipping meals, eating too fast, having no workout routine, depression, getting sick, genes, health problems, etc.
It's not often their fault. It could be. They could have done better to try and prevent it. But often times it's just not.

[Lynx ~ 10/1 Never Forgotten, Congratulations! ~ Swag]

...and the topic goes silent. :/

[s•u•n•s•h•i•n•e «§KENZ§»]

I have a friend who gained and is unable to lose a bunch of weight because a drug her doctor once prescribed her.

[Lynx ~ 10/1 Never Forgotten, Congratulations! ~ Swag]

Yup. I know someone with the same problem. :/

[s•u•n•s•h•i•n•e «§KENZ§»]

Yeah, and then people make fun of others like that, because they think it is their own fault for eating poorly, or not exercising, when that could not be further from the truth.

[Lynx ~ 10/1 Never Forgotten, Congratulations! ~ Swag]

Yeah, exactly.

[Ross]

Hmm yes, the stigma of fat people being fat because they lack the discipline or desire to properly look after their bodies is rather powerful, and may in fact be a tool of the 'slim is in' perspective that predominates in society. Then there's the 'you only healthy if you're slim' idea, which isn't entirely true either.It all depends on what you eat, I mean is there a difference between a fat person who lives off processed food ( Supersize me) or someone who's fat because they eat an excessive amount of healthy food, properly prepared using fresh ingredients? I would contend that yes, there is.

[.]

Woolfie wrote: "..or someone who's fat because they eat an excessive amount of healthy food, properly prepared using fresh ingredients? I would contend that yes, there is...."

Like a "fat" gourmet chef ~_*

[Varian Rose]

I'm starting to hate music videos, mainly pop music, because they send a message that "every girl has to wear next to no clothing in order to get a boyfriend." If this didn't make me feel awful enough, seeing the comments about how "hot" the girl is and all the things they want to do to her make me feel even uglier.

[Lynx ~ 10/1 Never Forgotten, Congratulations! ~ Swag]

I think that's just stupid. They feel lust because she dresses in skimpy clothes, and have no feelings or thoughts as to her personality and what's beneath. That's so shallow. And it's not at all true that you have to dress like a slut to get a guy.

[Varian Rose]

I know, it's still depressing. I have body image issues, so yeah....

[Lynx ~ 10/1 Never Forgotten, Congratulations! ~ Swag]

Oh, I see. I don't. But I still don't dress like a slut....
Just remember that there is sure to be much more ugly people than you who are in a happy relationship. Nobody expects you to be perfect. :) It's much better to have personality than looks.

[E.J., The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth]

I am one of those much uglier people... :D
I'm not in a relationship currently, but I am as happy as can be. :D

[s•u•n•s•h•i•n•e «§KENZ§»]

I don't think anyone can call themselves ugly. There is something beautiful about everyone, some people are just too lazy to look.

[Kiyuto~Nyan ❤☪☮E✡☥☯✞❤ [Kony 2012]]

EJ, Zombie, Stronghammer wrote: "I am one of those much uglier people... :D
I'm not in a relationship currently, but I am as happy as can be. :D"

No you are not ugly! If you're ugly, then there isn't even a word for how unattractive I am. So don't say that.

[E.J., The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth]

Okay, I'm putting a stop now to people calling themselves ugly because it always ends with others calling themselves ugly and then no one wins...

WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL!

[Kiyuto~Nyan ❤☪☮E✡☥☯✞❤ [Kony 2012]]

I do. I always win.

[Lynx ~ 10/1 Never Forgotten, Congratulations! ~ Swag]

Yeah, really. Just because you can't see the beauty in yourself doesn't mean that someone else won't come along and fall head over heels for the beauty in you that you had missed. Really, don't put yourself down over it. Remember that someone will always find you to be the most attractive person they've ever met.

[Fiona]

Lynx wrote: "Oh, I see. I don't. But I still don't dress like a slut....
Just remember that there is sure to be much more ugly people than you who are in a happy relationship. Nobody expects you to be perfect...."

Your personality will see you through the years as your body changes and begins to fail you.

[Fiona]

Lynx wrote: "Yup. Not only that, but often they don't have much of a say in the matter. It just... happens. Like I know one lady. She used to be a model for Ford. They put her on a diet. I think it was a diet w..."

Lynx wrote: "Yup. Not only that, but often they don't have much of a say in the matter. It just... happens. Like I know one lady. She used to be a model for Ford. They put her on a diet. I think it was a diet w..."

So many points are listed out for all to see. Yes,I like this. There never is an easy answer,cause like people,there are a variety of reasons or causes for why someone cannot lose the wieght others feel they should. We don't live their lives,anymore than they live ours for us. Without all the facts how can we say with certainty,what we think or believe is right?

[Lynx ~ 10/1 Never Forgotten, Congratulations! ~ Swag]

Thanks, Fiona. :) Though in all honesty I was a bit self-conscious for a long time. Then I started to not care what others thought quite as much and did what I felt I need to do to feel confident in myself. It also really helped having people compliment me all the time. Even the things I thought were flaws in my appearance were complimented, and it really helped. Anyway, I already know my body will deteriorate later, so why point out the flaws now? I should be happy with how I look in my youth. Flaws and all. Otherwise how on earth will I be able to handle my years as on older person?!

Exactly. Most people never intend to get fat. It just happened. Nothing they can do about it sometimes, and we shouldn't be discriminating them for something we don't know the full facts about.

[Fiona]

Your personality comes out so easily now. I think it's great that you've gotten to the point where you aren't so worried about what others may think. When I mentioned that our bodies will eventually change over time and finally give out I was also noting that our personalities do not change as much. So, to me, it is more important that we have a sense of self,which invariably shines out in the way we respond to others. In a sense, our very personality is what people remember about us over time. Not so much our body types or how our bodies themselves change. That was my thinking,Lynx. Sorry, I didn't express it quite as intended earlier.

[Lynx ~ 10/1 Never Forgotten, Congratulations! ~ Swag]

Oh, that's quite alright. :) That makes complete sense now.

[[deleted user]]

beauty is like an abstract painting.
hideous to one person,
beautiful to the next,
or just plain confusing to some.

but that's okay.

either everything is beautiful,
or nothing is in my opinion.

because beauty is a made up idea.

what makes something beautiful?

[Matthew]

When I look at a girl, I look at her personality...once you do that, everything about her is beautiful.

Or as I told my friend when she asked if though she was beautiful...

I might not
...but someone out there is going to fall head-over-heels for you, to them you are a GODDESS.

[Lynx ~ 10/1 Never Forgotten, Congratulations! ~ Swag]

๓คttђєฬ wrote: "When I look at a girl, I look at her personality...once you do that, everything about her is beautiful.

Or as I told my friend when she asked if though she was beautiful...

I might not
...but som..."

That's cool. :) I like that.



*Tears* {Breathing}*Zombie*{Under}*War*{Water} wrote: "beauty is like an abstract painting.
hideous to one person,
beautiful to the next,
or just plain confusing to some.

but that's okay.

either everything is beautiful,
or nothing is in my opin..."

*likes* Very true. :)

[[deleted user]]

^^
thanks.

[[deleted user]]

'beauty is in the eye of the beholder'

A wise person once said that...I think he was right.

You can't please everyone at once... just please yourself. If you know that you're beautiful and pretty, than you will be happier. You don't have to dress in a slutty way just so that you look pretty.

I guess that by worrying about how you look and fussing over it and going over the top... so far that you're starving yourself and all eating next to nothing, you lose your sense of reality and you are more artificial.

Beauty is only skin deep and I think that it shouldn't matter if you are all pimply and imperfect, people shouldn't judge you because of your appearance... they should care more about what is inside.

I have a friend who was really... nice in her own way, but then her obsession with hot guys got to her head and she noticed how the popular girls got the hot guys. I admit she wasn't exactly the nicest girl in the world, and she always seemed to say really nasty things when she let her temper get to her, and she was always 'burrowing' stuff that took her a very long time to give back. but she was bearable. She was pretty in her own way as well.

Anyways, she noticed how one or two of the popular girls wore really short dresses and had one or two buttons undone on their school dresses, and she decided to copy them. In the end, she started coming to school with super short dresses and had one too many buttons undone, and she got her wih. She got tje attention of those 'hot' guys, but in doing so, she lost her friendship with my group of friends and she lost her friendship with her best friend. Not only that, but she didn't fit in with the popular girls' group so now she just trails the 'hot' guys around. My friends and I offered her our friendship, but it meant that she would have to give up her short skirts and dresses and button up a few buttons, which in turn would mean the hot guys wouldn't notice her. She turned out friendship away.

I guess that it comes to show that you shouldn't change yourself just to be pretty and that you are pretty in your own way.

[Lynx ~ 10/1 Never Forgotten, Congratulations! ~ Swag]

That's sad. She's probably not too happy either, is she?

[The]

I hate people who say someone is ugly or fat. It's never true. It's true, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but in many people that eye is blind. Blind to see the subtle beauty hidden in everyone. Blind to feelings and personality. Blind to the world.

[Lynx ~ 10/1 Never Forgotten, Congratulations! ~ Swag]

It's not so much being blind as seeing in black and white. Either you're beautiful in their eyes, or you're not. And it's not being honest with ourselves if we say that, to an extent, we are all not like that. We are all attracted to different people, but that doesn't make us blind. When it crosses the line though, is when you voice it and through your words effect others view on the person. I'll be honest, I've seen a few people who I wouldn't call attractive at all. But are they ugly? No, that's a harsh word. But there's something about them that balances it out and no, I don't see them as being ugly or unattractive once I get to know them. I mean, if they ask what I think of their appearance I will tell them completely honestly or focus on the good part. Don't ask me if you look fat, I'll be honest. You wouldn't be asking if you didn't know or feel you were anyway. But I wouldn't call it blindness, so much as everyone seeing in black and white. However, over time you can come to slowly add color to that black and white world until all you see is everything brightly and colorfully.

[Nathaniel]

Relevant.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDSK91...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sw-mrP...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vs0ZwO...

But honestly while I am admittedly fickle I don't really concern myself much with how a girl looks. Oh sure I have preferences but that doesn't mean that if a girl asks me out that I'll reject her outright. My interests I find range sometimes from the people in MIKA's video to sometimes people like Helena. It really doesn't matter what they look like as long as theyre attractive in terms of personality, intelligence, etc. My ideal girl is essentially composed largely of personality traits and certain qualities I have myself. The only physical things I take notice in, although aren't exactly requirements or prerequisites unlike the personality traits, are height (preferably shorter but idc. Then again im taller than most girls anyways), hair color is unimportant, body shape idc just so long as we could still cuddle, hug and such, cute smile (this is maybe the one prerequisite physical trait, but it's cute in accordance to how i see it), breast size unimportant (while admittedly I am attracted to them I don't care. My 1st gf had A cups, 2nd had D cups. Theyre just complementary.), hips idc, and you get the idea. I dont care about what their appearance is, so long as I deem them attractive in terms of persona and such. Every girl is beautiful in their own way. That is a constant.

[Lynx ~ 10/1 Never Forgotten, Congratulations! ~ Swag]

Can't watch the vids right now. :/

Great words. I agree. Everyone's attractive in their own way, but personality is what really matters the most.

[Vyanni Krace ~Wisdom of the bitter sea.~]

I dont think Im that attractive in appearance. My dad thinks I am. But then again he is my dad. He is going to be biased.
Im not saying Im not attractive because Im low in confidence. Im saying it because it is a fact.
Im not ugly. But Im not attractive either.
I think my personality is okay though.

[Nathaniel]

Yeap.

It's all a matter of perspective Vyanni.

[Lynx ~ 10/1 Never Forgotten, Congratulations! ~ Swag]

Vyanni Krace ~Wisdom of the bitter sea.~ wrote: "I dont think Im that attractive in appearance. My dad thinks I am. But then again he is my dad. He is going to be biased.
Im not saying Im not attractive because Im low in confidence. Im saying it..."

Even if you don't find yourself attractive someone else will. I've had plenty of times where I found myself unattractive. Though for me it wasn't as much of appearance so much as personality. I have an extremely reserved personality unless I'm out to have fun. You're more likely to catch me as my real self if you're rarely going to see me. I'm still quiet, but I'm more likely to speak up and be myself. But I'm still confident, and I don't look too bad.
For appearance though, there really is plenty of times where I just feel like I don't look at all attractive. Like this morning I felt fat(which is stupid because I only weigh around 110), and my hair was is a total disaster. Plus I'm dressed in super casual clothing for me(black cargo pants and a pink sports long sleeve shirt that's a step up from a t-shirt) and look tired. I feel unattractive, though I know it's just because I'm in an extremely lazy mood and am tired.
Oh, funny. I just remembered something a 10-12 year old boy told me the other day. I was asking his sister if I needed to wear a skirt for the 30 seconds I'd be in the skit(technically I was supposed to be wearing something nicer and a skirt) and she goes, "Nah, you're wearing a dressy top. You don't need to if you don't want to." I was wearing a red, form fitting sweater-ish top... with cargo pants. Then her little brother pipes up saying, "No offense, but you always look like you're going to church!" I found it amusing. 'Specially because he only sees me at church, but even when I'm dressed casual it's either something like what I'm wearing now or(more likely) a nicer top.

sorry, that's a little long and completely pointless stuff.....

[Vyanni Krace ~Wisdom of the bitter sea.~]

There is hardly anything feminine about me.

[Kiyuto~Nyan ❤☪☮E✡☥☯✞❤ [Kony 2012]]

Well I'm sure you're beautiful, Vyanni.

[Vyanni Krace ~Wisdom of the bitter sea.~]

*Flat, unconvinced stare.*
¬_¬...right...