Philip Whiteland - the man behind Josiah and Archibald (which makes it sound like we're in a queue!) Showing 3,051-3,100 of 3,307

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

No, definitely not. You can only ham it up for so long...

[Philip]

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "No, definitely not. You can only ham it up for so long..."

Oh, I don't know, it's served me ok over the years 😉

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Its all very tongue in cheek!

(I'm having fun on Twitter trading puns with the Tripe Marketing Board)

[Philip]

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "Its all very tongue in cheek!

(I'm having fun on Twitter trading puns with the Tripe Marketing Board)"

Puns = tripe I see the connection

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

They do seem to appreciate my efforts.

[Philip]

Now this is what I call a brilliant review:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/review/R2F39...

[Jim]

you're right :-)

[Philip]

This month's Derby Telegraph article, for those who might be interested. It recounts my brief flirtation with militancy:

https://philwhiteland.blogspot.co.uk/...

[Jim]

took me back :-)

[Philip]

Jim wrote: "took me back :-)"

Different time, Jim

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Oh I thought you said milinary.

[Jim]

Back then you'd be thrown out of the union for knowing what that word meant

[Philip]

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "Oh I thought you said milinary."

You had to take your hat off to them, so...

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

My german grandmother had a hat shop. I don't think she was in a union though.

[Philip]

I know, I know, it's a Sunday but it could be any day. It's December but you don't feel in the least Decemberry. It will soon be Christmas but the Christmas Spirit is nowhere to be seen! What's the answer? Well, for just 99p I will guarantee that this little book will induce The Christmas Spirit whether you like it or not. You'll be skipping around, patting urchins on the head and ordering the finest goose from the butcher's window (and that will serve you right). Phil Whiteland's 'A Christmas Cracker' - you know it makes sense: http://mybook.to/xmascracker

A Christmas Cracker: A collection of seasonal stories

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

And if it doesn't work you get your money back, right?

[Philip]

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "And if it doesn't work you get your money back, right?"

No, you get to beat an elf to death with a sprig of holly.

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

In a sauna?

[Philip]

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "In a sauna?"

No, in a santa!

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

My mind is boggling!

[Philip]

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "My mind is boggling!"

This is no time to be playing word games

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Well what is a good time then?

[Philip]

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "Well what is a good time then?"

Oh, you must know what a good time is ;-)

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

If i say yes, does that make me a good time girl?

[Philip]

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "If i say yes, does that make me a good time girl?"

You might think that, I couldn't possibly comment.

[Philip]

Buy and save a reindeer from a lifetime of busking!

https://www.facebook.com/philwhitelan...

[Philip]

Although I say it myself, as shouldn't, I'm really quite proud of my Christmas compendium of stories and it would be great if it found a wider audience, because I honestly believe it is one of the best things I've done.

I must admit I've been pleasantly surprised at how many Christmas-themed stories I've written over the years. In this collection you'll find a selection of tales about growing up in my childhood home of Burton upon Trent in the 1950s and 1960s along with an alternative version of the Nativity, which I call my AlterNativity, a take on one of those annoying 'round robin' letters that drop out of your Christmas Cards and, finally, a brand new Undertakers' story featuring my characters Archibald Thurble and Josiah Oakshott.

The overall aim of the collection is to try and help you to become In The Christmas Spirit, which is a state of mind that I find increasingly difficult to attain with each passing year. However, as I was wandering around the shops today, I noticed that we have once more entered the Noddy Holder and Roy Wood pension scheme and so I suppose we should all try to get onboard, or risk being driven mad in the process.

So, before you say "Bah, humbug!" why not risk 99p on this little book. A Christmas Cracker: A collection of seasonal stories I promise you'll be glad you did ;-)

http://mybook.to/xmascracker

[Philip]

There's something about Christmas that makes me have an urgent desire to write short stories. This year is no exception! See what you think of this:

https://www.abctales.com/story/philwh...

[Philip]

I'm in the local press today!

http://www.derbytelegraph.co.uk/news/...

[Philip]

"King Wenceslas studied the paper and sucked the end of his quill, thoughtfully, which was unfortunate because it resulted in a mouthful of feathers."

https://www.abctales.com/story/philwh...

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

I have been in St Wenceslas Square in Prague. It isn't square, which is appropriate, because he wasn't a king.

[Philip]

FREE TODAY (Sunday 17th December) for one day only!



http://mybook.to/xmascracker

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Best of luck with the book sales :)

[Philip]

Gingerlily - The other Stroopwafel Sister! wrote: "Best of luck with the book sales :)"

Thank you :-)

[Philip]

My thanks to everyone who took advantage of my Christmas give-away yesterday and downloaded 'A Christmas Cracker' for FREE. Hope you enjoy it! If you can find a few moments to review it, that would be greatly appreciated :-)

http://mybook.to/xmascracker

[Philip]

Hey! just got a review on Goodreads :-)

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

[Jim]

I think you've got a fan :-)

[Philip]

Jim wrote: "I think you've got a fan :-)"

Leanna has been very supportive for quite a few years. Quite remarkable that she should take an interest in growing up in Burton upon Trent all the way from Nevada!

[Jim]

In Nevada, Burton upon Trent might seem unimaginably exotic

[Philip]

Jim wrote: "In Nevada, Burton upon Trent might seem unimaginably exotic"

All things are possible, Jim, but I've been to Nevada and I know where I would rather be ;-)

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

It must be your shining wit and magnetic personality then Philip!

[Philip]

Gingerlily - The other Stroopwafel Sister! wrote: "It must be your shining wit and magnetic personality then Philip!"

Who's a whining sh..?

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Willip Phiteland?

[Philip]

Hi, many people have said (alright, alright, one person has said) that they really enjoy the AlterNativity stories but it's difficult to find them all. Well, you'll find them all here: https://www.abctales.com/collection/a...

The individual links are as follows:
Part 1 'The Night Watch' - https://www.abctales.com/story/philwh...

Part 2 'The King Thing' - https://www.abctales.com/story/philwh...

Part 3 'A Room at the Inn' - https://www.abctales.com/story/philwh...

Part 4 'Get Away! In a Manger' - https://www.abctales.com/story/philwh...

I'll post the link for the fifth and final part, tomorrow.

Of course, you could go berserk and invest 99p in my compendium of seasonal stories 'A Christmas Cracker' which contains all of the above and a whole lot more in the same vein :-) http://mybook.to/xmascracker

[Philip]

The fifth and final part of The AlterNativity.

Merry Christmas!

https://www.abctales.com/story/philwh...

[Philip]

December's Derby Telegraph article, in which I dabble in romance.

https://www.goodreads.com/author_blog...

[Philip]

As of yesterday, my granny has sold (never, ever given away) 5,999 Kindle e-books! So, the next person to invest a whole 99p will have the honour (dubious or otherwise) of owning the 6,000th copy :-)

http://getbook.at/Grannys

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Will it be gold-plated?

[Philip]

Gingerlily - The other Stroopwafel Sister! wrote: "Will it be gold-plated?"

Yes and encrusted with diamonds

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

What a bargain!