Philip Whiteland - the man behind Josiah and Archibald (which makes it sound like we're in a queue!) Showing 1-50 of 3,307

[Philip]

If you haven't already experienced the nostalgedy* ramblings in Steady Past Your Granny'sthen now might be a good time to dip in to this collection of short articles. Ideal for the baby-boomer in your life. If you remember Beech Nut chewing gum, Jubblys, making dens on the recreation grounds and the 'flying wedge' system of playing football (one person kicking the ball, everyone else running after him, or her), then you'll love this book,

* A portmanteau word combining comedy and nostalgia. I thought about 'comalgia' but it sounds like an unfortunate medical condition ;-)

[Philip]

I should have said that if you've got any questions about the book (or me), or if you've got any comments about the book (or me) then I would really like to hear from you.

[Simon (Highwayman)]

Everyone is a bit shy at the moment Philip. I'm a bit lazy.... is this your first book?

[Philip]

Simon wrote: "Everyone is a bit shy at the moment Philip. I'm a bit lazy.... is this your first book?"

Thanks for breaking the ice, Simon. Yes, it is and it did nothing in hard copy form for a few years. However, since it came out as a Kindle edition it has gone from strength to strength. I do write a monthly article for the Derby Telegraph and some of these articles appear in the book. They will also form the basis of the sequel, which is due out in November in Kindle, which is to be called 'Crutches for Ducks'.

[[deleted user]]

"sequel, which is due out in November in Kindle, which is to be called 'Crutches for Ducks'.

What a lovely name for a book! :0)

[Philip]

Karen wrote: ""sequel, which is due out in November in Kindle, which is to be called 'Crutches for Ducks'.

What a lovely name for a book! :0)"

Thanks! I'm trying to keep up the trend of quirky titles. It's based on an old saying of my mum's.

[Simon (Highwayman)]

Philip wrote: "It's based on an old saying of my mum's. .."
I feel our first group quiz coming on. What did Philips Mum say that involved ducks on crutches?

[Philip]

Simon wrote: "Philip wrote: "It's based on an old saying of my mum's. .."
I feel our first group quiz coming on. What did Philips Mum say that involved ducks on crutches?"

If anyone gets the answer to that, I'll send them a signed copy of the hard copy version of Steady Past Your Granny's

[Simon (Highwayman)]

"Philip Hurry up. You get ready for school like a Duck on Crutches"!

[Philip]

Simon wrote: ""Philip Hurry up. You get ready for school like a Duck on Crutches"!"

That sounds like it might be her, but, in the immortal words of the bloke off Catchphrase "its' good but it's not the right answer"

[Simon (Highwayman)]

"Your dad dances like a duck on crutches"

[Philip]

Simon wrote: ""Your dad dances like a duck on crutches""

That would also have been true, and I'm afraid I take after him, however...

[Denise]

It's about as much use as a crutch for a duck?

[Angela]

How about you swim like a duck on crutches?

[Philip]

Denise wrote: "It's about as much use as a crutch for a duck?"

I suspect that was the essence of it but, not quite there yet...

Roy Walker! I've been driving myself barmy trying to think who did Catchphrase ;-)

[Angela]

Hi Philip,

Steady Past Your Granny's sounds like fun but not having spent my childhood in England it would probably be lost on me - or perhaps its time for me to fill in the gaps of my Englishness!

Is it you're dawdling like a duck on crutches?

[[deleted user]]

My uncle used to say clumsy as a chicken on crutches, suppose it would work for ducks !

[[deleted user]]

"Behave yourself or when I've finished with you you will be like a duck on crutches!" ...?

[Philip]

Angela wrote: "Hi Philip,

Steady Past Your Granny's sounds like fun but not having spent my childhood in England it would probably be lost on me - or perhaps its time for me to fill in the gaps of my Englishn..."

I like that one, Angela. I was often accused of dawdling. Not right but I liked it.

As for SPYG, you would be surprised at the number of readers it has attracted across the globe. You don't have to have spent your childhood in England, many aspects of it seem pretty common to wherever you grew up.

[Caain]

Hi Philip,
Well, I only joined this group a few minutes ago..saw your name and couldn't resist having a shuftie. Looking forward to your next book...I thoroughly enjoyed and loved "SPYG"
Does "duck on crutches" have anything to do with being nosey/inquisitive?
Regards,
Caain

[[deleted user]]

Denise wrote: "It's about as much use as a crutch for a duck?"

Reminds me of one of my husband's fav sayings - "as much use as a chocolate fireguard!"

:0)

[Patti (baconater)]

Angela wrote: "Hi Philip,

Steady Past Your Granny's sounds like fun but not having spent my childhood in England it would probably be lost on me - or perhaps its time for me to fill in the gaps of my Englishn..."

Do have a look at it Angela. Some bits made me chortle, other bits made me laugh out loud. The stories transcend the location. (oh, how's that for a bit of pretentiousness?)

[Philip]

Patti wrote: "Angela wrote: "Hi Philip,

Steady Past Your Granny's sounds like fun but not having spent my childhood in England it would probably be lost on me - or perhaps its time for me to fill in the gaps o..."

Gosh! Thanks Patti. I've always wanted to transcend something ;-)

[Philip]

Caainsworth wrote: "Hi Philip,
Well, I only joined this group a few minutes ago..saw your name and couldn't resist having a shuftie. Looking forward to your next book...I thoroughly enjoyed and loved "SPYG"
Does "duck..."

Thanks for the kind words, Caain. I'm sorry, you're not on the right track there but a good effort (as my PE Teacher used to say)

[Philip]

Karen wrote: ""Behave yourself or when I've finished with you you will be like a duck on crutches!" ...?"

That sounds ominous, Karen!

[Philip]

John wrote: "My uncle used to say clumsy as a chicken on crutches, suppose it would work for ducks !"

Yes, it would. It's not right, but it would work.

[Philip]

By the way, you can get a sneak preview of some of the material that will form the next book at http://www.philwhiteland.blogspot.com/ also known as The Slightly Odd World of Phil Whiteland

[Patti (baconater)]

Thanks for the blog link, Phillip! Bookmarked it. Reading it will make the wait for your next book easier.
Wish I had a clue about how one could relate ducks and crutches as I would love a signed copy of your book. Perhaps you could do a 'virtual' book signing where we could order signed copies?

[Philip]

Patti wrote: "Thanks for the blog link, Phillip! Bookmarked it. Reading it will make the wait for your next book easier.
Wish I had a clue about how one could relate ducks and crutches as I would love a signed ..."

Thanks Patti. Hope you enjoy the blog. That sounds like a good idea but I'm not sure that I'm sufficiently technologically savvy to be able to do that!

[Simon (Highwayman)]

I was wondering about 'signed copies'. Does anyone think there is any point in producing printed covers for ebooks that an author can sign and post to adoring fans?

[Philip]

Simon wrote: "I was wondering about 'signed copies'. Does anyone think there is any point in producing printed covers for ebooks that an author can sign and post to adoring fans?"

That's an interesting idea, Simon. I would never have thought of that. Isn't there some way of 'signing' electronic versions or have I just made that up?

[Simon (Highwayman)]

Philip wrote: "Simon wrote: "I was wondering about 'signed copies'. Does anyone think there is any point in producing printed covers for ebooks that an author can sign and post to adoring fans?"

That's an intere..."

I suppose you could sign electronic copies but then they can be copied. The nice thing about a signed copy of a book is that it is unique. We could collect them like pokemon cards and as we wouldn't have to carry the whole book around we could bore people with them at dinner parties.....

[Patti (baconater)]

I was actually thinking more of a book signing where we request and order signed copies of the hardcover online. Would be cool to meet you in person, though, Phillip. Perhaps Simon's pub in B'wade?
The concept of signed electronic copies is interesting, too, though...

[Philip]

Patti wrote: "I was actually thinking more of a book signing where we request and order signed copies of the hardcover online. Would be cool to meet you in person, though, Phillip. Perhaps Simon's pub in B'wade?..."

The problem with providing signed copies is (in my case, anyway) the cost of these plus the delivery charge far outweighs the actual value of the book, which leaves the reader feeling somewhat ripped off. This is the reason why I haven't had any more printed. The limited stock I have left will probably be either given away or auctioned at some point.

[Roberta]

Just Brought SPYG, sounds like it could bring back some memories, one childhood memory I still treasure is nicking apples of the trees in the gardens at the Sargents Mess at RAF Marham.
Bobby

[Philip]

Roberta wrote: "Just Brought SPYG, sounds like it could bring back some memories, one childhood memory I still treasure is nicking apples of the trees in the gardens at the Sargents Mess at RAF Marham.
Bobby"

Tsk, tsk, Roberta! Thanks for buying the book, I hope you enjoy it.

[Patti (baconater)]

According to my mum-in-law 'crutches for ducks' is the reply to a nosey question.
Eg. 'What are you doing?'

'Making crutches for ducks'

[Philip]

Patti wrote: "According to my mum-in-law 'crutches for ducks' is the reply to a nosey question.
Eg. 'What are you doing?'

'Making crutches for ducks'"

I've got to say, you're the closest so far, Patti. Unless the absolute correct answer appears from somewhere (which I suspect is unlikely) then you're looking like a contender! ;-)

[Patti (baconater)]

She actually said something like 'layovers for meddlers and crutches for lame ducks'
But what on earth could a layover for a meddler be??

[Philip]

Patti wrote: "She actually said something like 'layovers for meddlers and crutches for lame ducks'
But what on earth could a layover for a meddler be??"

Ok, now you've won it! The phrase (as my mum used to say it anyway)is "Leos for meddlers, crutches for ducks". Congratulations to you and your MIL. I'll post the book to you if you are happy to email a delivery address to mail@philwhiteland.co.uk

[[deleted user]]

There have been some bizarre sayings in the past! My mum used to say to us when we cried "but I thought..." she would say "Do you know what thought did, thought he'd wet himself and he hadn't!" What??? Never did work that one out and I don't think she could explain it either - think it was something that they said when she was at school. :0)

[Patti (baconater)]

Wow!!!

Thank you so much, Phillip!

I'll be sharing your book with my mum-in-law, of course. This is perfect as she's very interested in reading your book but is resisting a kindle. I've been reading passages of it to her over the phone!

[Simon (Highwayman)]

Well done Patti. I bet you didn't think you would have one of your books lifted out of your grip on your first day here Philip!

Great idea though. I wonder if we will get any other offerings....

[[deleted user]]

Congratulations Patti! :0)

[Patti (baconater)]

Thanks Karen! You know how I like freebies. ;)

Just wish I could share this one with the whole forum...

[[deleted user]]

Well, at least it won't break the bank if we buy our own copy!

:0)

[Philip]

Patti (P E) wrote: "Wow!!!

Thank you so much, Phillip!

I'll be sharing your book with my mum-in-law, of course. This is perfect as she's very interested in reading your book but is resisting a kindle. I've been rea..."

Well done, Patti. The book will be in the post to you in the next day or so. Hope your MIL enjoys it too.

[Philip]

Simon aka Highwayman wrote: "Well done Patti. I bet you didn't think you would have one of your books lifted out of your grip on your first day here Philip!

Great idea though. I wonder if we will get any other offerings...."

I must admit, Simon, that I didn't really expect anyone would get it in total. I rather thought I would have to give the book to whoever came closest. Delighted there was so much interest.

[Philip]

Karen (Kew) wrote: "Well, at least it won't break the bank if we buy our own copy!

:0)"

Absolutely not. It's cheap at twice the price ;-)

[Philip]

Karen (Kew) wrote: "There have been some bizarre sayings in the past! My mum used to say to us when we cried "but I thought..." she would say "Do you know what thought did, thought he'd wet himself and he hadn't!" ..."

My mum used to say the same thing, only it wasn't 'wet himself' ;-)