A Solivagant on the Inselberg Showing 11,601-11,650 of 25,493

[kavi ~he-him~]

*hugs you tightly*

[Hallie]

Today is one of my Goodreads friend's birthday!! :) And my cousin's wedding anniversary, but if I call him or his wife, they're just going to ask me how school is and why the heck I didn't go along with Mum to see their kid.

People, I repeat - I do not like kids. I will not hesitate strangling them if I'm pissed. (Mothers, please keep your kids away from this monster.)

[Hallie]

RIP Hallie.

[Jaxon(Jax)[They-He]]

Hallie

[Hallie]

I am so close to being buried alive.

People, if you love me (or don't), send roses to my funeral. I know they are cliché, but screw that. I love roses for roses.

[Hallie]

Dude, I'm scared. Does anyone have a noose I can hang myself with?

[Hallie]

Hello I cannot sleep.

[Doreen]

same bro

[Hallie]

Insomniacs unite!

[Hallie]

Oh my goodness! Ariana's MTV performance!

[Hallie]

I'm still not over the fact that I failed killing myself....

[Hallie]

I mean so many people wish I'm dead.

[Hallie]

Guys.....

[Hallie]

If I disappear, take care of my groups?

[Hallie]

Okay then, no responsibility: delete the group?

[Hallie]

Every time someone knocks the door, I'm afraid they are from Google because of the very uh.... The um searches from my phone.

[Hallie]

The same when my parents get a call and they don't initially know who's in the other end. As if the person would say, "Is this Hallie's guardian? Based on her searches, she might be a threat to herself."

[Hallie]

I probably need to give up trying to give up on my life, but uhhh.....

[Hallie]

This is officially the journal of suicide attempts, but by the looks of it, some day it will end.

[Hallie]

You know how people say that everyone is special and has their own talents? Those comments piss me off. What a beautiful lie!

[Hallie]

Wait a minute, my dad is related to someone named 'Puppy'?!?!?! What the heck?!?!

[Hallie]

Uhhh forgive my inane ramblings. It's probably those pills I took messing with my brain.

[Hallie]

No, it can't be the pills. My brain doesn't work at all.

[Jaxon(Jax)[They-He]]

Hallie wrote: "You know how people say that everyone is special and has their own talents? Those comments piss me off. What a beautiful lie!"

I know right or the "it's impossible to not have talents"

[Hallie]

Sylveon~Raven wrote: "Hallie wrote: "You know how people say that everyone is special and has their own talents? Those comments piss me off. What a beautiful lie!"

I know right or the "it's impossible to not have talents""

That too!

[Jaxon(Jax)[They-He]]

*Hugs Hallie*

[Hallie]

*hugs back*

[Hallie]

Next time I'm talking about plans to kill myself, remind me that all the pills in the house don't work because as of today, I've tried that five times.

[Hallie]

I'm so screwed tomorrow. Results come out :/

[Hallie]

Hello people! My mum's disappointed and my dad's going to kill me. See you at my funeral!

[Hallie]

Now I'm scared. I really should have waited until tomorrow to tell her.

[Hallie]

A co-mod in one of the groups I moderate had been away from nearly a year, and they are finally back! (Remind me to check what pronouns they use again. I'm using they to be in the safe side) They asked what changes we had made, and this dumbface moderator named Hallie doesn't even remember -_-

[Hallie]

I think I'm falling sick again.

[Hallie]

I know I'm a big failure. No need for reminders :/

[Hallie]

And after two failed attempts, your girl is back to scratching her hands again -_-

[Hallie]

S's story was about some new BTS song and I heard someone listen to it and scream, so I just listened to it, and what the heck is that?!?!?! I'm so confused! They all look the same and I swear none of it makes any sense to me.....

[Hallie]

Would people really miss me if I died?

[Jaxon(Jax)[They-He]]

Hallie wrote: "Would people really miss me if I died?"

What kind of question is that, Of course I would

[Hallie]

I just think that people wouldn't.

[Alia ~you are not your anxiety~]

Hi, Hallie :)

Sorry I haven't been on too much... I just finished all day volunteering for two weeks, phew! But school starts next week. I'm so nervous. I got a decent group of teachers, though I expect the workload is going to be greater. The best part is that my closest friend got Mr. Knox! I honestly have no idea if she will like him, but we'll see.
I got the hard English teacher who makes people write a bunch, and I'm very scared seeing as my writer's block has been severe lately. So yeah, that's me in a nutshell right now.

I was quite saddened to hear about your fifth attempt... don't know if things are worse in August, since the same occurred last year, but please hang in there as the month ends and you start your final (right?) year of high school. I'm still here if you ever need to talk, and it feels great helping any friend figure things out even a little. You can message me here or on Discord. You have the right to say you're struggling to this point; don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise. You're also allowed to have unconventional interests so long as they don't make the likelihood of self-harm greater. I understand the feelings of being ignored. I understand hurting others and regretting it greatly. Not saying I understand your unique situation, but I understand emotions. I understand being hurt as well. I have a situation with an online friend hurting me right now, but it's very much due to my own mistakes in the way I've treated people. Even those seen as good are deeply flawed, and we all hurt people, sometimes beyond the point of repair. The best we can do is help others (and not for the sake of our own reputation being bolstered). We all show our worst, but Hallie, I think you're showing your best as much as you can right now, and that makes you a better person than you can imagine at this stage.
I don't know where I got all of this from other than my heart. As I get busier, I should not let my care for you wane. You're worth every penny of sweat and every minute of my time.
Also, an important lesson I failed to learn until now: just because nothing defines you right now doesn't mean you're useless; just because other teens have something that clearly defines them doesn't mean they are harder workers or better thinkers.

I am here for you, Hals. <3

[Alia ~you are not your anxiety~]

Btw, be sure to find out which pronouns your co-mod uses!

[kavi ~he-him~]

*hugs you tightly*

[Sαяαн]

Hiiiiii

[Alia ~you are not your anxiety~]

Hallie, are you okay? I'm sorry if I said anything in my note to offend you or that was untrue. Please just reply if you see this.

[kavi ~he-him~]

Hallie where are you????

[kavi ~he-him~]

Hallie!!!!!

[Hallie]

Hey guys! I'm alive, unfortunately and surprisingly. Just a few more scars and some more toxic substances in my system. Sorry for making you worry so much.

Alia - I'd reply to your message in a more detailed manner, but I'm kind of loopy and exhausted and I've got some stuff to do for my group, so I'll try some other time. Oh, and none of it offended me :) And thanks for the reminder! I did ask them.

[Alia ~you are not your anxiety~]

Thanks so much for posting. Means a lot to know you're around here. I am sad to hear about the scars and toxic substances, though... I really think you should think about yourself this year, and what will make you happier. I wish there was more I could do.

That's totally fine. I'm already drowning in textbook reading for my advanced history class, so I'm not going to be online a ton anyway. It's been an okay start to the year but not great... I asked Mr. Knox how his first week was and we agreed we are both tired already.

[Hallie]

Uh yeah, maybe that's what I should do. Maybe that's what my parents should let me do :/

Aww.... School started for me as well, and I'm fed up. I'm sure you'll do great this year, as usual! :) Sorry, I seem to have forgotten to socialize with people because I isolated myself a lot.

[Hallie]

I disappeared for a week, and when I come back, I see something that is giving me a panic attack -_-