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A Solivagant on the Inselberg
message 11501:
by
Hallie
(new)
Aug 14, 2018 07:20AM
I spent one entire year being nice to my friends and not losing my temper and being mean. These lovely people forgot my birthday completely before and after I practically begged them to remember that I was unfortunately born, and two other people who were never originally close to us get countdowns to their birthdays six and ten days away.
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![Jaxon(Jax)[They-He] | 4642 comments](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1749715398p1/46156450.jpg)
Oh that sounds sucky. I try not to forget birthdays but unfortunately my memory sucks
I mean I know this is a silly obsession, but I didn't want a party or anything (which these two will obviously have). I just want them to stop seeing through me like I'm invisible.
You just want to be noticed
Sylveon~Raven wrote: "Oh that sounds sucky. I try not to forget birthdays but unfortunately my memory sucks"I can understand that. Not everyone can remember all their friends birthdays, but they can remember everyone else's except mine.
And it's not just about birthdays. It's everything. Notes, lessons, important stuff...
Sylveon~Raven wrote: "You just want to be noticed"Yes exactly.
Im just bad with everyones birthdays honestly, I can remember mine and both of my brothers' birthdays but thats about it
My dad and brother are the same. They can remember exactly four birthdays. I can remember birthdays if you just tell me once.
Thats great, I wish I could remember things
But sometimes I forget the most important stuff (especially in exams), but otherwise I'm happy with my ability to remember stuff. It's a nice weapon to use :)
Candidly, this year is a combined collection of all my worst nightmares coming true.
This is my last year of school
Hello there! Welcome to my mundane journal filled rubbish, which you will soon be tired of.
Probably will, classes get harder each years
I never get tired of you writing Hals. And from me being honest, many things that you write brighten my day. Not the dying messages, no no NO. But just you telling your story makes me happy.
Sylveon~Raven wrote: "Probably will, classes get harder each years"Hey, you're a smart and intelligent person :) You've got this!
Pffffft Im not that smart :P
jellybean wrote: "I never get tired of you writing Hals. And from me being honest, many things that you write brighten my day. Not the dying messages, no no NO. But just you telling your story makes me happy."Aw glad to know!
Sylveon~Raven wrote: "Pffffft Im not that smart :P"You are :D
Sylveon~Raven wrote: "Im hungry :O"
Same! But I'm destined to be without food till next Monday, so I can't do anything except starve.
Hallie wrote: "Sylveon~Raven wrote: "Pffffft Im not that smart :P"You are :D
Sylveon~Raven wrote: "Im hungry :O"
Same! But I'm destined to be without food till next Monday, so I can't do anything except starve."
Don't starve! :O
Doreen wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Sylveon~Raven wrote: "Pffffft Im not that smart :P"You are :D
Sylveon~Raven wrote: "Im hungry :O"
Same! But I'm destined to be without food till next Monday, so I can't do anythi..."
Well, I don't really have much of a choice.
My mum is going to visit grandma for a few days and my dad is too busy, and my brother and I can't really cook.
My parents don't let us eat cereal, so we don't have any 😓
Have you tried asking your father about food?
He will probably give me some cash to buy something, but I don't know. I kind of have a lot of stuff going on, so I'm not sure if I'll even use it.
I'm seeing H and S in an hour and a half :D
Surprise!
Those who like me writing stories about me life - you might be interested in this.
My mum is at Grandma's till Monday, which is why I now have more opportunities to hang/drown myself and cut my wrists, but yeah, long story short, my dad and brother will be the ones taking care of me for a while. Two days ago, H and S asked if we could meet up today and they even searched a place we could hang out that is easily accessible to all three of us from our homes. I should have known because usually we just meet up at our old school near my house and walk into the closest place we find. My mum was fine with me going and my brother was more than just fine, but I didn't know how to tell my dad because I don't really speak to my dad. It's something I've never been able to do ever since I was a child - talk freely to him. I guess it's because I witnessed some outbursts from him when I was younger, and was intimidated by that. I kept pushing it and hoping either Mum or my brother would tell him, but no such luck.
I was wondering about the right time to tell him since I woke up. I walked around the house for about an hour till he got out of bed, but then he began to show me how to make pancakes and we had breakfast. The pancakes looked...... Well, he tried and it didn't taste bad. And "he doesn't have time". Whilst I was eating, he asked my brother what he wanted for lunch and I knew that was the right moment. I told him that I'm going out so I don't need lunch. He was kind of happy that I was meeting up with friends. Then he said, "Little one is going out! Big team! How many people are coming?" I held up two fingers, and that look of astonishment on his face was simply hilarious. Like, just why can't you have a better social life? Ehhheeee. However, I was kind of worried whether the house will be fine with me gone because when I walked back into the kitchen for something, it was full of smoke, and since the kitchen doesn't have a door, the smoke spread to the living room as well. And my dad's wheezing wasn't helping.
Anyway, H and S told me to come over at 11:30 or 11:40, but I wanted to go to the library which is right there, and do something else because my dad gave me the money for that. That's why I lied to my dad that we were meeting at 11 so that I could leave early. My plan was to reach at around 11:10, rush to the library, grab three books and get the other job done by 11:30, and perhaps even read at the library till they arrive and call me.
So I left my house at 10:50. It took about five minutes to get to the bus stop, but I didn't get a bus for nearly ten minutes. I just had to do things for things to go as planned. I got down at the stop at 11:20 and was walking towards the library when those two appeared before me out of nowhere. I stared at them in shock and then stared at me in shock for a minute before H's mother appeared to say hey. She asked about my mum and I told her that she had gone to Wales. H is also Welsh like me, so our mothers are close, too. When she left, H and S were like, "How come you're early?" I explained my plan saying, "I need to go to the subway here and then go to the library. Hey wanna come along?" They replied, "No, actually we'll wait here. I want to show H my coaching centre." I said I would take roughly 15 minutes to finish up and we parted.
I went to the library and couldn't decide what to take because I couldn't find books that I haven't read. And there was an old man sitting and reading in the crime fiction section, so I didn't want to disturb him. I don't know how, but I finally found three books and left there. I tried calling S, but she didn't pick up. I kept walking and eventually found the place they have picked (which I had never noticed before in my life even though I walked right past it a billion times). I stood in front of it and called her again, but once again, she didn't pick up. I was going to dial for the third time when they emerged out of nowhere again right in front of me, and stopped when they saw me. H looked like she had seen a ghost. She even said "You're creepy. I got scared." Well, what was I supposed to do?!
Then we entered the place and S suggested that we go to the next floor. She said that she would get the menu and told us to go upstairs and wait. H and I were having such an awkward aura and both of us were acting super weird. We were rolling our eyes at each other because both of us refused to sit before the other, and when we finally did, I had to switch seats because my acrophobia didn't love the glass panel beside the seat I originally wanted. The funny part was that she didn't know what to say. She was like, "Why did you have to come early?" And I was like, "Why did you come early?" She didn't even know what to say. "I thought S would come early." Well, I had a legitimate reason. "I wanted to go to the library and not be late." A pause, and it started again. "Why did you come early?" Soon the topic switched to Blackpink (somehow), and I was in the middle of advertising (G)-IDLE when S came up with a birthday cake. I legit said "What the hell?!" And then H said, "I'm so sorry I forgot to wish you on your birthday." I knew she was super busy that entire week, so I totally understand why she couldn't wish me, and I told her that. But she still kept apologizing and didn't stop until I threatened to throw her out.
The cake was fortunately small, because I don't really like cake. It even had the words 'Happy belated birthday OCD' written on it. Here's a picture:
(Apparently the guy at the counter gave them a pretty strange look when they submitted what they should write on the cake.)
They even took a video of my cutting it, and then I told them about how frustrating my *friends* had been explained in detail here (I'm sorry, but I'm pissed). Thanks to me, now they are mad at K and the others. At least H arranged for this to make up for missing my birthday. They kind of want to smack all of them because I told them about the fights and everything. Then H said, "Here's a small gift," and it was literally a small gift. I'm not complaining, but it sounded funny xD S gave me a picture of us at the school day in year 10 in which none of us look like um.... Us along with the gift from the store. It was so amazing!
We sat there chatting for a long time, and the waiters kept glancing at us, so we eventually ordered three sandwiches and had those and the rest of the cake (H would have tried to cut the cake with the flat side of the plastic knife if I hadn't told her that she was holding it wrong. S couldn't stop rolling her eyes over the fact that the knife even had dents for fingers and the airhead held it the other way) before realising that the place might be annoyed with us, so we paid the bill and left. They almost didn't let me pay the bill, but I managed :)
We still had some time to kill, so we decided to go to a park nearby. And, of course, it was closed. H, S and I have no luck when it comes to parks. So we went to a bookstore that sells second hand books for the half its original price. The owner wanted to close up, but we simply couldn't decide on what to buy. I suggested The Fault In Our Stars, but then we found Veronika Wants To Die, which both H and I wanted to read, and I found The Girl On The Train, which I thought both of them would like. So, with my expert opinion, we bought Veronika Wants To Die and The Girl On The Train, and agreed to post the books to each other once we were done reading. H has the former while S has the latter. It was fun. It's a shame our time together came to an end within a flash, but it was fun. We then found H a cab and I saw the bus back to my place, but S decided that she didn't want to use the subway and get a cab instead, so we both took the cab to my place and then she went home after dropping me. I skipped the inside jokes because if anyone is reading this, you would think: 'What the heck is wrong with this trio?' but eheheh. I almost regret having to kill myself.
Maybe I should take in a co-moderator for D.E.A.R.
I guess it's just going to die when I'm gone.
if I could I would make you some food.
Haha thanks! But I such a picky eater that if you do, you'll regret it xD
My mum legit thought I was roaming the streets xD No, Mum, I'm at home.
To-do List
• Get out of bed and go to breakfast with brother
• Vacuum house because all I see is my hair and shoe prints(If I don't kill myself, my mum will if she sees that)
• Do laundry because I haven't done it yesterday
• Write
• Actually go out for lunch
I should have thought of this plan earlier and not waited.
I actually did everything on my list.
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 (other topics)Lore (other topics)
The Glass Menagerie (other topics)
The Great Gatsby (other topics)
Orlando (other topics)
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