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[Hallie]

That death by cough syrup/liver failure is a pretty good plan right now.

[Hallie]

Mum went to the dentist to get her tooth extracted.

[Hallie]

How do I get a person online to confess?

[Hallie]

Yeah, it's sceptical thoughts like these that ruin others lives. I really am better off dead.

[Hallie]

I'm bored and the episode of Black Butler that I want to watch isn't working.

[Hallie]

I've been waiting so long
Got no patience for more
I just want you by my side
With your cuddles and hugs.

I've been dying to hear
Those exact words on repeat
Say you love me forever
And will never let me go.

Tell me that you'll love me, love me
Till death do us apart
Tell me that you'll stay with me, with me
Till the end when everything to fades.

So love me like I'm your last
And kiss me like you don't have a choice
Make me the Queen of your world
Like you can't survive without me.

[Hallie]

^ And this ridiculous and crappy song, my friends, is the reason why I write songs about death and abandonment.

[Hallie]

I legit wake up thinking I hope I die.

[Naofumi Iwatani (from The Rising of The Shield Hero)]

Hey, want to hear the lyrics to one of the songs that I made?

[Hallie]

I'm really sorry, Harley, but I'd appreciate it if you deleted it from here. I'm not a huge fan of so much profanity at one go.

[Naofumi Iwatani (from The Rising of The Shield Hero)]

Ok, but do you like the song though?

[Hallie]

Not really.

[Naofumi Iwatani (from The Rising of The Shield Hero)]

Thnx, Mykayla!

[Hallie]

Well, I was going to say more, so I do think this is less harsh.

[Hallie]

Hey Lilly! :) What's up?

[Hallie]

Good night then! :) Me? I couldn't sleep because my throat was annoying me and I feel really dysphoric :/

[Hallie]

:/ Not your fault, so don't worry.

[Hallie]

You know you don't have to.

[Hallie]

But... Never mind. Thanks Lilly! You're an awesome friend.

[Hallie]

Is it normal to become dizzy and turn blind for a few seconds each time I raise my head after lying down?

[Hallie]

So basically dreams coming true is tantamount to dreams vanishing.

[Hallie]

Okay I've had enough of Black Butler. I'll just go back to Fairy Tail then.

[May͛a]

Hallie wrote: "Is it normal to become dizzy and turn blind for a few seconds each time I raise my head after lying down?"

You're not having low blood sugar are you?

[Hallie]

May͛a [semi-hiatus] wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Is it normal to become dizzy and turn blind for a few seconds each time I raise my head after lying down?"

You're not having low blood sugar are you?"

I don't know. I don't pass out completely and I eat a lot of sugar, but I don't know what it is. The problem is that usually I need to get up to do something physical like carry water from the kitchen to the bath, so when everything turns dark, I'm more likely to trip and spill the water all over.

[May͛a]

I wish I could help :( Take care and I know this sounds lame but be careful asjffrnd *shakes shoulders*

[Hallie]

Aw thank you!

[May͛a]

Isn't it Sunday tho? Go back to sleep!

[Hallie]

Hehehe you caught me! But Mays, I have a reason! You know my idiot older brother right? Well, he caught a cold and kept sneezing on me so I ended up catching his cold, and now my throat is kind of itching/aching (it's basically irritating). So I can't sleep :(

[May͛a]

Noooo. Do you drink medicine when you have a cold or just let it be? I caught a cold from my sister too and I couldn't sleep as well so I guess we're in this together...?

[Hallie]

Unless you count ice cream as medicine, I just let it be. My family is literally like 'You're just exaggerating,' so.... Awww! Why are all siblings around the world giving us colds?

[May͛a]

You're allowed to eat ice cream when you're sick? o_O But...you're not?? Honestly, if they don't care then make medicine for yourself if it gets too bad. Maybe it's one of the reasons siblings exist...

[Hallie]

Strangely, yes, because it's the only thing I like eating. I just happen to cough a lot when they're around. Not my fault! I looked for some stuff two days ago, and there is exactly one piece of dry ginger 😶 I guess I'll stick with just honey then. *nods* Maybe...

[May͛a]

Can't blame you for that. Well you do have a cold, so there's nothing wrong with coughing, right? Dry ginger😂I hope you get well soon!

[Hallie]

Yeah, but apparently "my coughing is very disturbing to others". Thank you, Mays! :D

[Alia ~you are not your anxiety~]

Maya! :D

[May͛a]

Hals- well keeping coughs in leads you to choke, and nobody wants that so cough. Just cough, smh (speaking from personal experience, I didn't want to cough in the middle of an exam so I kept it in and it was a disaster xD)

Alia! :D How have you been??

[Hallie]

Hey Alia!!! :D

Mays, ooooh so that's what happens! I've always wondered. For some reason, I can never keep coughs in, so I'll try irritate them by coughing anyway ;) Agh that must have been so bad!!! I've been always (legit always) falling sick during exams, so I can understand why you did that.

[Alia ~you are not your anxiety~]

Well I'm not sick, but I'm in a ton of feminine pain right now, hence why I'm up at 2 AM. Just ate a supermarket bagel to help the pain medicine work :D oh man, this sucks.

And as for the last few weeks, well, let's say it's been very different than usual...
I got sick at just the right moment to have to miss a great opportunity, one of my teachers did something that really angered me (as a person with morals) and there's been a lot of turbulence surrounding the recent walkout against gun violence. Some threatened consequences at my school I won't get into... and they worked on me sadly. I didn't walk out.
So yeah, it's been pretty awesome over here (yeah not really). I'm sorry to hear it's hard for you too. Can it be summer?

[Alia ~you are not your anxiety~]

forgot to mention all my writing sucks these days lol
and someone that one of my family members knew passed away really young

[Hallie]

Aw that sucks even more! Hope you feel better soon!

Oh I'm sorry about that. Things seem very tough for you, and I sure hope it gets better soon enough for you to say that it went from sarcastic awesome to genuinely awesome.

Lies! You're writing can never suck! Oh my goodness I'm so sorry about that!

[Alia ~you are not your anxiety~]

Thank you so much Hallie :) Really appreciate that. I suppose I'm doing something right by supporting my friend who is also so done with this year. Well, and I'm studying. XD

Look on the bright side... exams in a month, fun!
I guess the only thing I can really be grateful for is that the teacher who made me angry wasn't Knox or my math teacher. That would have ruined the way I think about them..

And I did stay silent the whole school day on Friday in protest. And most teachers respected that (minus the one who made me mad because I didn't want to explain). I'm glad I was able to do that at least.

[May͛a]

Hals- haha! Well everyone in the classroom ended up staring anyway, but the teacher looked livid I caused such disruption xD Poor you though, that must be troubling :/ I swear sicknesses always arrive at the wrong timing (not saying it's ever welcome but still)

Alia- I hope you feel better soon! Also I'm so sorry about all that happened :( Sending all my love and I wish for things to take a turn. Your writing is amazing, and honestly if you can't find inspiration at times or have writers block, feel free to do something else that interests you. Take a walk, buy a drink, something that doesn't have to do with writing at all, then get back to it later.

[Alia ~you are not your anxiety~]

Thanks to you too Mays! I'm feeling better now so might go back to sleep soon. Tbh I'm fine if they don't take a turn until summer. I can just label this year as mediocre personally, one with a ton of anxiety and upset, and a hell of a moment for the United States.

The problem is, I'm so tired all the time and I forced writing yesterday because I never feel like it anymore. All my classmates have committed to one extracurricular or another and in order for my whole application to be as strong as my transcript I need to be keeping up my writing. But this is such pervasive and toxic anxiety because every time I think about writing I think about college applications... it's awful.

[Hallie]

Alia, glad to know :) Haha obviously you're studying xD And I was worried whether it was one of them, so whew! Still sucks, though. I'm going to agree with Maya to tackle the writing problem, and hopefully sometime soon, it will be wonderful writing demanding to be attached to college applications instead of vice versa.

Mays, haha xD So now I know for sure that it's better to cough in the hall instead of holding it because it has the same result. Exactly! Myself immune system hates me. I've been sick every single test at this school and on the very first day of school too.

[Alia ~you are not your anxiety~]

Well I need to okay! I have a bunch of major tests this week ah...
Yeah thank goodness. Oh gosh, that would have been awful. But no, they both know a lot better than this person. The saddest part is that it's something Knox could have made a teacher joke about but it wasn't a joke...

Ahh it's so bad... yeah I hope so! Maybe I just need to focus on the future of the magazine because we have three important people graduating and they will be a big loss to us. If I revamp it that will be good :) And college won't have to depend on how many ideas I get in the middle of studying (yeah, there's a reason I get these grades, I don't magically get distracted with ideas when studying)!

[Alia ~you are not your anxiety~]

By the way I messaged you on discord Hals, sorry for the wall of text

[Hallie]

Haha good luck with those! I'm sure you'll do fine :
Aw seems like it's way too bad...

:( But I'm sure you'll be able to manage even after they graduate :) Wait, how do ideas not pop into your head while studying. Could you lend me a small bit of your brain to fill the large space in my head due to the lack of one?

[Hallie]

Alia ~mostly inactive for now~ wrote: "By the way I messaged you on discord Hals, sorry for the wall of text"

Okay! I haven't opened discord for days because I just wasn't feeling alright, but I need to pop into the Harry Potter server to say hi, so I'll read you message then :)

[Hallie]

[Hallie]

I swear if something doesn't start hurting, I'm going to cut with the kitchen knife :/