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A Solivagant on the Inselberg
message 6501:
by
butterbean
(new)
Mar 18, 2018 07:04PM
Hey, that's okay! At least they aren't mad. ;)
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Lillian wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Results :/ My parents want to know my marks, and this idiot screwed up badly and lied that she did well."You're not an idiot Hallie."
Sure am. Why else would I not study and screw up and then lie to every single person?
Hallie wrote: "Lillian wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Results :/ My parents want to know my marks, and this idiot screwed up badly and lied that she did well."You're not an idiot Hallie."
Sure am. Why else would I not..."
Don't worry, I do that too! It's just, ehhhh crap I forgot what I was going to say.
And the aftermath..... Parents want to put me in coaching for engineering entrances and I, for the millionth time, don't want to do bloody engineering.
Why I'm the one that fixes all the stuff that go wrong because two certain engineers won't budge a finger!
Oof, engineering? Wow, that'll be a great job! My parents just want me to have a job in the technology industry, and I'm totally up for that!
Lillian wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Lillian wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Results :/ My parents want to know my marks, and this idiot screwed up badly and lied that she did well."You're not an idiot Hallie."
Sure am. Why e..."
Most certainly yes.
I wouldn't make that good of an engineer because I suck at anything picture related, but I wish I could bear the brunt of that for you and leave you to pursue English, Hals! :(Don't give up on your dreams. Don't let them dry up like a raisin in the sun (yeah, we're studying that book in English rn!)
Alia wrote: "I wouldn't make that good of an engineer because I suck at anything picture related, but I wish I could bear the brunt of that for you and leave you to pursue English, Hals! :(Don't give up on yo..."
I can only fix things out of impulse. I do it because I like doing it and it needs to be fixed. But other than that, engineering except some branches, require Math and Physics, my two weakest subjects. English has always been my favourite and strongest subject, but it's that hard to figure out that I want to do something English related even if I speak, breathe and live it, right? :/
I'll try. Well, they might say they're doing the best for me, but if the best for me can drive me to want to kill myself, then how good can it be?
♛✧נєℓℓувєαη✧♛✧¢σмρℓєтєℓу ιηмαтυяє αη∂ αωкωαя∂✧♛ wrote: "Oof, engineering? Wow, that'll be a great job! My parents just want me to have a job in the technology industry, and I'm totally up for that!"I'm not really interested. It's so cliche in my family, and I want to do something different.
Actually, it's not me they're interested in. All they want is for me to get some crappy job just after my degree like my brother (just because he got one doesn't mean I should), and then will probably say stuff like, "We paid for your education. We paid for your medical bill when you were 8. Bills, bills and bills. So pay us back."
Lillian wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Actually, it's not me they're interested in. All they want is for me to get some crappy job just after my degree like my brother (just because he got one doesn't mean I should), and ..."They're really sweet, but very, very narrow-minded. I wish I could live with you, too!
Hallie wrote: "Actually, it's not me they're interested in. All they want is for me to get some crappy job just after my degree like my brother (just because he got one doesn't mean I should), and then will proba..."I'm not kidding. Few weeks ago, Mum was calculating all the money they spent on me and said, "If you get a job soon, you can pay us back."
Maybe when I reach home, I'll poison myself?
I don't want to leave you, Lilly, but I don't want to live as a failure.
Hallie wrote: "Maybe when I reach home, I'll poison myself?"NO I WON'T LET YOU
Hallie wrote: "I don't want to leave you, Lilly, but I don't want to live as a failure."YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE
There is no way anyone can prove that I'm not a failure. Because you can't prove something false.Besides, I'll teach my parents a good lesson and let them do what they want: split up.
Maybe I'm being selfish, but you know what? I don't care!
I should have jumped in front of that train when I had the chance.
Don't expect to see me tomorrow. I'll be dead.
Even if I don't kill myself, my parents will.
I need to wait for two more stupid hours.
Well alright, but I expect to see you tomorrow, don't let me down :)
I did a lot better in Chemistry. Then why is it my least score?
Woah, I enter this topic to see a talk about death? *Inhales* Naw I can’t take this.
♛✧נєℓℓувєαη✧♛✧¢σмρℓєтєℓу ιηмαтυяє αη∂ αωкωαя∂✧♛ wrote: "Woah, I enter this topic to see a talk about death? *Inhales* Naw I can’t take this."Oh sorry about that! My journal is pretty boring and full of self-loathing rubbish, which is why I never agree that it's interesting.
V got the third rank in her combination, and I.....
Self loathing, you know that’s a bit of a strong word Hal. How about, hmmm I don’t even know!
I doubt there is a better word that fits.
No, no there is. Self-esteem seems like a better word for this situation. :)
I reached three hours early, but fortunately K happened to arrive at the same time, so she kept me company. Later she and a lot of the others left to attend special classes, which I obviously don't want to join. So since I waited for two hours all alone, this is what happened.Friend: What did you do all this while?
Me: Just passed time. I called my mum and screwed her over the phone.
Friend: But why?!
Me: I felt like screwing her (and yes, I was yelling at her about the degree/future career plans)
K: *in Irish actually, but translated* No, her parents are not allowing her to do what she wants, so she screws them often. They shouldn't be forcing things upon her that way. She likes everything connected to English.
Friend: You should do whatever you want to do!
K: She writes really good poems, you know. (So not true! My poems are rubbish!)
Me: I've always wanted to take English, but they just want to force me into engineering. Not even doctor or lawyer.
♛✧נєℓℓувєαη✧♛✧¢σмρℓєтєℓу ιηмαтυяє αη∂ αωкωαя∂✧♛ wrote: "No, no there is. Self-esteem seems like a better word for this situation. :)"Uh no, I legit hate myself more than anyone else in the world.
You shouldn't though, what if Self-esteem meant "self love & hate?" Wait, that just sounds weird.
Well, my definition of self-esteem is a person's evaluation of their own worth, and to be honest, I'm worth nothing even according to that. I still absolutely hate myself and everything about me, so uh.... Ignore me. I don't know what I'm talking about.
Stupid Hallie, frowning isn't going help increase the low percentage you got -_-
Smart Hallie, smiling is going to help you feel better about yourself. <:
Smart and Hallie should not be used together! I hate smiling, though.
Really? Awe, you're like one of my classmates tbh. xD
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