Pastiche Quotes

“[Hugh] winced as I squealed the tyres, but after all, it wasn't his motorcar. Holmes did more than wince before we were out of Oxford, but I didn't hit anybody, and only brushed the farm cart slightly. It wasn't his automobile either, and what do men know about driving?”
― Laurie R. King, The Beekeeper's Apprentice

“XVXVI, or 10-5-10-5-1, yielded H-E-H-E-A, which, unless she wanted to show her derisive laughter, made no sense.”
― Laurie R. King, The Beekeeper's Apprentice

“Colorless green ideas sleep furiously
three old owls on a chest of drawers
were screwing
the daughter of the doctor.
But then the mother called them,
colorless green ideas slepp furiously.”
― Umberto Eco, How to Travel With a Salmon & Other Essays

“This business with Sir Magnus Pye had got off to an inauspicious start. It was one thing to be stabbed in your own home—but to be decapitated with a medieval sword the moment darkness fell was quite simply outrageous. Saxby-on-Avon was such a quiet place! Yes, there had been that business with the cleaner, the woman who had tripped up and fallen down the stairs, but this was something else again. Could it really be true that one of the villagers, living in a Georgian house perhaps, going to church and playing for the local cricket team, mowing their lawn on Sunday mornings and selling home-made marmalade at the village fête, was a homicidal maniac? The answer was yes—quite possibly.”
― Anthony Horowitz, Magpie Murders

“VICTRIX CAVSA DIIS PLACVIT SED VICTA PVELLIS”
― Naomi Mitchison, The Conquered

“1. Thou shalt respect Scotland's history but not become a pastiche.
Tradition is a dish best served fresh, so instead of perpetuating tired stereotypes of Scotland, the coorie movement moves forward our oldest rituals.”
― Gabriella Bennett, The Art of Coorie: How to Live Happy the Scottish Way

“Cashewblai Pecan was a mighty conqueror, much as his grandsire Genghis had been.
Under his yasa, all roadways were safe for travelers and honest men.
‘Twas by many a wise tongue said,
That a maiden with a golden vessel on her head,
Might walk alone without fear or dread.
From the great eastern sea all the way to Mesopotamia,
Such was the promise of the Pax Macadamia!”
― Daniel Thorman, The Zodiac Quest: A LitRPG Adventure

“A MERRIE JEST of Master William Shakespeare and his DOGGE SPOT
by Stewart Stafford

ACT I, SCENE I.

[The Bard sets his quill down and rises. Enter Spot.]

[SHAKESPEARE]
“Out, out, damned Spot, I say!”
[The dogge doth not stir.]

[SHAKESPEARE]
“Zounds! How sharper than a hound’s tooth it is to have a disobedient dogge!”
[Anne Hathaway opens the door. Spot trots forth.]

[SHAKESPEARE]
“Thou art in cur-llusion, woman!”
[Anne scoffs.]

[ANNE]
“Beware of pawing jealousy, Master Shakespeare. 'Tis the biting flea that mocks the mangey mongrel it feeds upon. Now Spot hath gone afield, thou mayst perambulate him through Stratford, sir!”

[SHAKESPEARE]
“I shall, wife, and get to the bottom of this plot, methinks.”

[Exeunt]

© 2026 Stewart Stafford. All rights reserved.”
― Stewart Stafford