Gag Quotes

“I'm very depressed how in this country you can be told "That's offensive" as though those two words constitute an argument.”
― Christopher Hitchens

“Don't look shy if you wear rag and people gag, many are in the grave wearing skeleton, and you should even be happier for wearing a skin without clothes.”
― Michael Bassey Johnson

“I sometimes glance around during church and wonder, ‘Who else is wearing a butt plug? Just me? Nah, can’t be. Oh, that guy! He’s got something up his poop shoot for certain!”
― DX, The Reluctant Master

“Look at these lines! Look at them! I look like a Lamborghini with boobies!”
― DX, The Reluctant Master

“As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:
~people applaud you incessantly.
~love you more than their parents.
~give you a daily bread.”
― Michael Bassey Johnson

“Guards punished anyone caught taking bones from the garbage by fastening the bone between his teeth, across his mouth, and then tying like a gag. "And then the poor fellow was made to fall down and crawl around on his hands and knees like a dog, a laughing stock for Federal soldiers, spies, and camp followers," Bean recalled bitterly.”
― George Levy, To Die in Chicago: Confederate Prisoners at Camp Douglas, 1862-65

“You’re on a date here?” she asked, trying to break the awkward silence.
“One that’s going horribly,” Jasper said. “This guy is so pretentious I want to gag, and not in the good way.”
― Katherine McIntyre, Strength Check