Iris > Iris's Quotes

“IT WASN’T A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT. It should have been, but that’s the weather for you. For every mad scientist who’s had a convenient thunderstorm just on the night his Great Work is finished and lying on the slab, there have been dozens who’ve sat around aimlessly under the peaceful stars while Igor clocks up the overtime.”
― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“All this fuss about sleeping together. For physical pleasure I'd sooner go to my dentist any day.”
― Evelyn Waugh, Vile Bodies

“Though sympathy alone can't alter facts, it can help to make them more bearable.”
― Bram Stoker, Dracula

“Grinning like a necrophiliac in a morgue.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic

“Some pirates achieved immortality by great deeds of cruelty or derring-do. Some achieved immortality by amassing great wealth. But the captain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“At the top of the cellar steps Broadman knelt down and fumbled in his tinderbox. It turned out to be damp.
'I'll kill that bloody cat,' he muttered, and groped for the spare box that was normally on the ledge by the door. It was missing. Broadman said a bad word. A lighted taper appeared in mid-air, right beside him.
HERE, TAKE THIS.
'Thanks,' said Broadman.
DON'T MENTION IT.
Broadman went to throw the taper down the steps. His hand paused in mid-air. He looked at the taper, his brow furrowing. Then he turned around and held the taper up to illuminate the scene. It didn't shed much light, but it did give the darkness a shape . . .
'Oh, no—' he breathed.
BUT YES, said Death.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“...All the shops have been smashed open. There was a whole bunch of people across the street helping themselves to musical instruments, can you believe that?"

"Yeah," said Rincewind. "...Luters, I expect.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic

“Though she be but little, she is fierce!”
― William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night’s Dream

“She was already learning that if you ignore the rules people will, half the time, quietly rewrite them so that they don't apply to you.”
― Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites

“The entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.”
― Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites

“Million-to-one chances...crop up nine times out of ten.”
― Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites

“I'm not a lady, I'm a witch.”
― Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites

“Granny Weatherwax was a witch. That was quite acceptable in the Ramtops, and no one had a bad word to say about witches. At least, not if he wanted to wake up in the morning the same shape as he went to bed.”
― Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites

“They may have been ugly. They may have been evil. But when it came to poetry in motion, the Things had all the grace and coordination of a deck-chair.”
― Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites

“We learn from failure, not from success!”
― Bram Stoker, Dracula

“An owl is born with all his questions answered.”
― A.C.H. Smith, Labyrinth: A Novel Based on the Jim Henson Film

“Sarah took a deep breath and set off along the passageway again.
A clump of lichen on the gatepost opened its eyes and watched her go.
The eyes, on tendrils, had an anxious look, and when she had gone some
distance away the clump, swiveling its eyes toward each other,
commenced to gossip among itself. Most of it disapproved of the
direction she had taken. You could tell that from the way the eyes
looked meaningfully into each other. Lichen knows about directions. ”
― A.C.H. Smith, Labyrinth: A Novel Based on the Jim Henson Film

“Nothing was fair. If you expected fairness, you would be forever disappointed.”
― A.C.H. Smith, Labyrinth: A Novel Based on the Jim Henson Film

“Quite often, young lady, it seems we're not getting anywhere, when in fact we are.”
― A.C.H. Smith, Labyrinth: A Novel Based on the Jim Henson Film

“Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

“If queerness can be defined, then it is no longer queer.”
― Madhavi Menon, Shakesqueer: A Queer Companion to the Complete Works of Shakespeare

“Once upon a time, an angel and a devil fell in love.

It did not end well.”
― Laini Taylor, Daughter of Smoke & Bone