Quotes - Canyon (The United States) Showing 1-30 of 92

#1

“I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.”
― Oscar Wilde

tags: creation, god, humor, man

#2

“There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

tags: humor

7883 likes

#3

“Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.”
― Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

tags: humor

10165 likes

#4

“If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.”
― E.B. White

tags: activism, humor, life, pleasure

9221 likes

#5

“There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”
― Oscar Levant

tags: genius, humor, insanity

9902 likes

#6

“Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.”
― Thomas Szasz

tags: humor, inspirational

9770 likes

#7

“The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

tags: fantasy, humor, scifi

23481 likes

#8

“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx

tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor

38022 likes

#9

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe

148819 likes

#10

“Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch.”
― Orson Welles

3066 likes

#11

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
― Mae West

tags: humor, life

119430 likes

#12

“The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.”
― H.L. Mencken

tags: age, humor, old, wisdom

2184 likes

#13

“The covers of this book are too far apart.”
― Ambrose Bierce

tags: attributed-no-source, books, criticism, humor, wit

1599 likes

#14

“In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.”
― P.G. Wodehouse

tags: humor

151 likes

#15

“So many books, so little time.”
― Frank Zappa

tags: books, humor

152216 likes

#16

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
― Mark Twain

34483 likes

#17

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
― Jim Henson

26431 likes

#18

“I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
― Woody Allen

tags: death, fear, humor, life

25664 likes

#19

“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
― Terry Pratchett, Diggers

tags: humor, open-mind, thinking

21452 likes

#20

“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
― W.C. Fields

18671 likes

#21

“My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.”
― Winston S. Churchill

tags: humor, taste

5981 likes

#22

“It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent

tags: death, humor, life

6735 likes

#23

“A literary academic can no more pass a bookstore than an alcoholic can pass a bar.”
― Amanda Cross

1712 likes

#24

“I have nothing to declare except my genius.”
― Oscar Wilde

tags: humor

2754 likes

#25

“There are two types of people in this world. People who hate clowns...and clowns. (Bobby Pendragon)”
― D. J. MacHale, The Quillan Games

tags: clowns, humor, people

1395 likes

#26

“This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence.”
― Ben Elton, Bachelor Boys: The Young Ones Book

tags: humor, violence, vyvyan

392 likes

#27

“Succotash my cocker spaniel, you fudging crevasse-hole dipshiitake!”
― Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

249 likes

#28

“If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?”
― Prince Philip

113 likes

#29

“Can't stand all these poisonous creatures, all these snakes and insects and fish and things. Wretched things, biting everybody. And then people expect me to tell them what to do about it. I'll tell them what to do. Don't get bitten in the first place. (quoting Dr. Struan Sutherland)”
― Douglas Adams

166 likes

#30

“A cavalryman's horse should be smarter than he is. But the horse must never be alowed to know this.”
― Steven Pressfield, The Virtues of War

tags: army, horse, humor

184 likes

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