Jacob > Jacob's Quotes

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  • #1
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
    148457 likes

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  • #2
    Eoin Colfer
    “I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.”
    ― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code
    tags: mysterious
    2062 likes

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  • #3
    Eoin Colfer
    “I can't imagine what they're planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it, and it won't be legal.”
    ― Eoin Colfer, The Artemis Fowl Files
    tags: holly-short
    358 likes

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  • #4
    Eoin Colfer
    “Artemis felt like he was six again and caught hacking the school computers trying to make the test questions harder”
    ― Eoin Colfer, The Time Paradox
    tags: humor
    419 likes

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  • #5
    Eoin Colfer
    “Trust me. I'm a genius.”
    ― Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl
    551 likes

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  • #6
    Eoin Colfer
    “We're being lead by an idiot with a crayon.”
    ― Eoin Colfer, The Arctic Incident
    tags: humor
    361 likes

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  • #7
    Eoin Colfer
    “I am unarmed. But Butler here, my ...ah...butler, has a Sig Saucer in his shoulder holster, two shrike-throwing knives in his boots, aderringer two-shot up his sleeve, garrotte wire in his watch, and three stun greanades concealed in variouse pockets. Anything else, Butler?”
    ― Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl
    255 likes

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  • #8
    Eoin Colfer
    “Can we please focus? We are supposed to be professionals." Holly said.

    "Not me!" said Orion cheerily, "I'm just a Teenager with hormones running wild and may I say, young fairy lady, they're running wild in your direction.”
    ― Eoin Colfer, The Atlantis Complex
    tags: artemis-fowl, atlantis-complex, eoin-colfer, orion-fowl
    254 likes

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  • #9
    “Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
    ― Narcotics Anonymous
    tags: humor, insanity, life, misattributed-ben-franklin, misattributed-mark-twain, misattributed-to-einstein
    64661 likes

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  • #10
    Maurice Switzer
    “It is better to remain silent at the risk of being thought a fool, than to talk and remove all doubt of it.”
    ― Maurice Switzer, Mrs. Goose, Her Book
    tags: misattributed-to-abraham-lincoln, misattributed-to-mark-twain, remaining-silent, wisdom
    44325 likes

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  • #11
    Oscar Wilde
    “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
    ― Oscar Wilde
    tags: attributed-no-source, enemies, forgiveness, strategy
    81825 likes

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  • #12
    Elbert Hubbard
    “A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.”
    ― Elbert Hubbard
    84295 likes

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  • #13
    Mark Twain
    “Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
    ― Mark Twain
    34467 likes

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  • #14
    Mark Twain
    “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: individuality, majority, minority, pause, reflect, wisdom
    43897 likes

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  • #15
    Groucho Marx
    “Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
    ― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx
    tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor
    37988 likes

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  • #16
    Albert Einstein
    “If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: attributed-no-source, children, fairy-tales
    25173 likes

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  • #17
    Alexandre Dumas fils
    “The difference between genius and stupidity is: genius has its limits.”
    ― Alexandre Dumas-fils
    tags: misattributed-to-einstein
    21520 likes

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  • #18
    Albert Einstein
    “When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: humor
    9933 likes

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  • #19
    Albert Einstein
    “Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: reality
    8428 likes

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  • #20
    Albert Einstein
    “Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    9089 likes

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  • #21
    Albert Einstein
    “A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: misattributed-to-einstein
    9503 likes

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  • #22
    Andy Warhol
    “In the future, everybody will be world famous for fifteen minutes.”
    ― Andy Warhol
    tags: modernity-is-a-sickness
    163 likes

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  • #23
    William Shakespeare
    “Thou art a very ragged Wart.”
    ― William Shakespeare, Henry IV, Part 2
    143 likes

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  • #24
    William Shakespeare
    “Thou mad mustachio purple-hued maltworms!”
    ― William Shakespeare
    227 likes

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  • #25
    Charles J. Sykes
    “Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.”
    ― Charles J. Sykes, Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write or Add
    tags: humor, misattributed-to-bill-gates, nerd, nerds, work
    15553 likes

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  • #26
    C.E.M. Joad
    “Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources”
    ― C.E.M. Joad
    tags: creativity, humor, misattributed-to-einstein, paraphrased
    13074 likes

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  • #27
    Oscar Levant
    “There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”
    ― Oscar Levant
    tags: genius, humor, insanity
    9904 likes

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  • #28
    Mark Twain
    “Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: humor, politics
    9103 likes

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  • #29
    “Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”
    ― Anthony G. Oettinger
    tags: humor, misattributed-to-groucho-marx, time
    6194 likes

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  • #30
    Douglas Adams
    “There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

    There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
    tags: humor
    7874 likes



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Tags From Jacob’s Quotes

attributed-no-source
human-nature
humor
infinity
philosophy
science
stupidity
universe
mysterious
holly-short
artemis-fowl
atlantis-complex
eoin-colfer
orion-fowl
insanity
life
misattributed-ben-franklin
misattributed-mark-twain
misattributed-to-einstein
misattributed-to-abraham-lincoln
misattributed-to-mark-twain
remaining-silent
wisdom
enemies
forgiveness
strategy
individuality
majority
minority
pause
reflect
animals
books
dogs
friends
children
fairy-tales
reality
modernity-is-a-sickness
misattributed-to-bill-gates
nerd
nerds
work
creativity
paraphrased
genius
politics
misattributed-to-groucho-marx
time