John > John's Quotes

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  • #1
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    Albert Einstein

  • #2
    Groucho Marx
    “Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
    Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx

  • #3
    Douglas Adams
    “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
    Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

  • #4
    Robert A. Heinlein
    “Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
    Robert A. Heinlein

  • #5
    Woody Allen
    “I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
    Woody Allen

  • #6
    Charles Bukowski
    “Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”
    Charles Bukowski

  • #7
    Terry Pratchett
    “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
    Terry Pratchett, Diggers

  • #8
    Bill Watterson
    “Reality continues to ruin my life.”
    Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

  • #9
    George Carlin
    “The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
    George Carlin

  • #10
    I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!
    “I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!”
    Charles M. Schulz

  • #11
    W.C. Fields
    “I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
    W.C. Fields

  • #12
    Lewis Carroll
    “It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”
    Lewis Carroll

  • #13
    “Have you ever noticed how ‘What the hell’ is always the right decision to make?”
    Terry Johnson, Insignificance

  • #14
    C.E.M. Joad
    “Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources”
    C.E.M. Joad

  • #15
    Rita Mae Brown
    “The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you.”
    Rita Mae Brown

  • #16
    Lemony Snicket
    “Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.”
    Lemony Snicket

  • #17
    Terry Pratchett
    “Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.”
    Terry Pratchett, Jingo

  • #18
    Chuck Palahniuk
    “All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.”
    Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

  • #19
    Douglas Adams
    “I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”
    Douglas Adams

  • #20
    Oscar Levant
    “There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”
    Oscar Levant

  • #21
    Albert Einstein
    “Never memorize something that you can look up.”
    Albert Einstein

  • #22
    Albert Einstein
    “When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.”
    Albert Einstein

  • #23
    Thomas Szasz
    “Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.”
    Thomas Szasz

  • #24
    George Carlin
    “The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”
    George Carlin

  • #25
    Mark Twain
    “I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
    Mark Twain

  • #26
    Mae West
    “I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.”
    Mae West

  • #27
    Charles M. Schulz
    “Happiness is a warm puppy.”
    Charles M. Schulz

  • #28
    Mark Twain
    “I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.”
    Mark Twain

  • #29
    Isaac Asimov
    “Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.”
    Isaac Asimov, Foundation

  • #30
    Terry Pratchett
    “It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.”
    Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent



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