Rye > Rye's Quotes

“After a long pause in which he took the time to blink several times, he asked, "You named your breasts?"

I turned my back to him with a shrug. "I named my ovaries, too, but they don't get out as much.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“Where am I going and why am I in this handbasket? ~Bumper sticker~”
― Darynda Jones, Second Grave on the Left

“Time to make today my bitch.”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“So, hoss. Have you actually told her you’re in love with her?”

“She won’t let me. When I tried, she threw me down a flight of stairs.”

“And you’re not concerned about that?”

“There weren’t that many steps.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“Have they even seen the Winchester boys? Sammy and Dean's existence proves there is a god and she is a woman.”
― Darynda Jones, Fifth Grave Past the Light

“Props?”  She was almost afraid to ask.
“Just the usual.  Stethoscope, tongue depressor... scalpel, bone saw, rib spreaders… just the normal stuff.”
“Maybe in future you should ditch the props, be less Nurse Ratched and more soft porn first day on the job candy striper.”
Darcy look genuinely puzzled for a brief moment. “Where would the fun be in that for me?”
― Jane Cousins, To Thrill A Thief

“Now listen up, you Navy-loving son of a bitch! If my friend wants that bear, she’s gonna get that bear. And neither hell nor you nor some big-haired, twenty-hour-sleeping king of the idiots is gonna stop me from making sure she gets that bear!”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Squeeze

“I don’t hate you, you idiot. I’m in love with you. That’s why I’m panicking!” She marched to the door and yelled, “And our children will not be freaks!”

“Except their mother already is,” her father yelled back.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Beast Behaving Badly

“What happened?”  He directed the question her way. Hadleigh shrugged, it seemed obvious to her. “I think I broke the pretty one.”
― Jane Cousins, To Woo a Warrior

“Arrgh!” Hadleigh flung up an arm to shield her eyes but the damage had been done. She’d seen a lot of ugly things in her time and generally ended up killing them but this … this thing defied description. It mocked the word ugly as pithy and stomped on an array of descriptive words such as loathsome, skin crawling and hideous. “Good Goddess, what in the Hell is that?”
― Jane Cousins, To Woo A Warrior

“Your head is incredibly hard…you’ll be fine.”
“So much for bedside manner. You didn’t think about cushioning my fall before I hit the ground?”
“Please, would you jump in front of an oak tree to stop it falling?”
“You’re comparing me to a falling tree?”
― Jane Cousins, To Trap A Temptress

“Some instantaneous connection had occurred between them. The very air in the room seemed to crackle with the awareness of it. A wave of heat suffused her body to centre between her legs, suddenly she felt breathless and hyper aware of him. There was no way this man could remain unaffected by the sheer magnitude of the invisible bonds that had just linked them irretrievably together. She wondered what he was thinking behind those beautiful navy blue eyes. Okay so she didn’t really expect him to open his mouth and spout poetry or declare his undying love but she certainly wasn’t prepared for his next words.
“You aren’t going to throw up are you? This is one of my favourite suits.”
― Jane Cousins, To Wrangle A Witch

“Goddess damn it, being a Siren quite literally sucked… she was a fricking straw for a ravenous rock.
Charisse grit her teeth in determination, unconsciously pulling up first one drooping sock, then the other… we’ll just see about that bitch.”
― Jane Cousins, To Seduce A Siren

“You can’t think of anything? Anything you might need a man for?”
Berry blinked slowly, then gave him a wide smile. “Are you talking about sex? Because if you are, there are plenty of products on the market today that claim to be just as good as a man. Not to mention some of them come with rechargeable solar batteries… so good for the environment too.”
― Jane Cousins, To Bedevil A Beauty

“I’m related to one. Can you believe that? It was bad enough thinking I was paranoid, going crazy or maybe just cursed, but to find out Gods are real and that I’m related to one… life sucks lemons and I’ve run out of tequila and salt.”
― Jane Cousins, To Date A Disaster

“She scrambled to her feet, uncaring that a stray knee and elbow had Erik wincing. “How can you be groaning about a simple knee to the groin when you’ve just been battered by flying furniture, candelabras and hit on the head by a pot plant that must weigh a ton or more?”
“I’ll have you know there is nothing simple about my groin…” He shot her his predatory grin, the one he often reserved for her breasts. Run little girl, run far and run fast… take those tempting curves, enticing kissable lips and award winning breasts with you.”
― Jane Cousins, To Date A Disaster

“You bought a prostitute on our date!”
― Jane Cousins, To Shackle A Shrew

“Turning her attention back to her Aunt she sighed softly.  “I’d really like my security deposit back on this place, so if you do end up having to kill him… well…”
Nabha laughed softly, patting her niece on the arm. “Don’t worry, I’ll do it outside.”
“Good.”  Devon sighed with relief. That was one less thing to worry about.  “As long as we’re on the same page.”
― Jane Cousins, To Shackle A Shrew

“Hey, what are you doing with your hand?”   Eli’s voice came out high pitched in surprise, as she clutched at Rafe’s shoulders.
“It’s the best place for leverage if you’re going to make that ladder.”
“My ass?  Really?”
“What can I say, I’ve done the math, factored in the weight and height ratios and your ass is definitely where I will gain the most leverage in lifting you.”
― Jane Cousins, To Thrill A Thief

“Brodie found herself frowning in confusion, the rugged handsome one was making no sense. “But I just want to have sex with you… no commitment, no sharing. If anything, I would prefer it if you didn’t talk at all, before, during, or after the act.”
― Jane Cousins, To Vex A Valkyrie

“She’d been seconds away from kissing the man… no, throttling him, for his sheer audacity.  “You expect me to bat my eyes and thrust my tits into some hairy creature’s face and then run away like a giggling simpleton?”
“They only have the one eye under all that hair, and their eyesight is notoriously bad, so you can probably just keep your… tits where they are. ”
― Jane Cousins, To Vex A Valkyrie

“Is there something going on between you and Matias?”
“No!”
“Okay, I may not have a truck load of fancy degrees but all I can say is… liar, liar, I’m seriously thinking of grabbing my blow torch and setting your pants on fire.”
― Jane Cousins, To Surprise A Seer

“Matias frowned.  Damn, he’d had a vision of this gorgeous woman naked?  He hadn’t thought he could despise his memory loss any more than he did, but the hits kept on coming.  Wait.  The blonde had said vision... as in the future?  “We’re fated to have sex?” 
“No!”  Quinn shook her head so quickly and vehemently that her teeth all but rattled.
“You sure?  You can’t seem to stay away from me.”  He looked down at their close proximity. 
“I knew I should have left you to rot in the psych ward strapped to that bed.”
Matias frowned.  He was having a hard time keeping up with the conversation.  “Kinky.  Or is that another dream you had starring yours truly?”
― Jane Cousins, To Surprise A Seer

“And you’re overthinking things, Charming.  Do the math.  Naked, interested man, check.  Wet, willing woman, double check.  Now insert part A into slot B and we can move on to the engineering portion of our quiz today.”
― Jane Cousins, To Fight A Fate

“Yikes, this was going to require every bit of motherly instinct she possessed.  Elisabeth took a deep breath… and nothing happened.
Shit, damn, okay, she’d fall back on what she was good at when it came to her children, part drill-sergeant, and part crazy, suicidal cop on the edge.  Hey, you should always go with what works, and play to your strengths. ”
― Jane Cousins, To Fight A Fate

“Nothing drives home a win more absolutely for the Sanctuary than a severed head delivered in a Hello Kitty box, topped with a big gingham bow.”
― Jane Cousins, To Handle A Hellcat

“She was Darcy Montgomery, Southern Sanctuary Special Liaison, she fixed things.  When people irritated her, well, she fixed them… she fixed them good.  Or should that be, for good? ”
― Jane Cousins, To Handle A Hellcat

“Honestly, men.  Always trying to exert their dominance.  What these two didn’t understand was that in this Library, Patricia was Ming the Merciless, Mistress of all she surveyed.  And she did not have time in her busy schedule for this shit.”
― Jane Cousins, To Kiss A Kringle

“I don't know which will upset you more," she replied. "Telling you it's nothing but clutter or confessing that I often take it out and play 'I am Boba Fett' when I don't think anyone can see me.”
― Shelly Laurenston , Beast Behaving Badly

“Elara reached over, picked up a folder from her desk, and held it in front of her so only her eyes were visible.
"What are you doing?"
"Waiting for your head to explode. I don't want to miss it, but I don't want to be splattered with gore.”
― Ilona Andrews, Iron and Magic