The Mane Event Quotes

“You admit nothing. Deny everything. Demand proof. Did you learn nothing in Boot Camp?"
(Mace to Smitty)”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“So, hoss. Have you actually told her you’re in love with her?”

“She won’t let me. When I tried, she threw me down a flight of stairs.”

“And you’re not concerned about that?”

“There weren’t that many steps.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“I'd rather have rabies than be in love."
"Why?"
"Because at least you can get over rabies with some shots.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“This conversation" - Dez rapped her knuckles against the Formica table- "is over."
"Be careful, Dez," Jimmy stated earnestly.
"And don't sleep with him the first night," Vinny warned. "We know what a slut you can be."
Dez turned to Sal. "Do you have anything to add to this bullshit?"
"Yeah." Sal looked down from the ceiling he'd been staring at. "Based on the structure of this building, if we removed that pillar back there, we could take out this whole block."
Dez sighed.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“Because isn’t that what the holidays are all about— letting your family make you wish you were an orphan?”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“If you’re worried arresting my sister will come between us — really, that’s not a problem. I’m pretty sure it will bind us tighter together. Besides, we made plans…involving Missy’s desk.”

“You know I was only torturing your sister.”

“So you were just using me?” He actually sounded wounded. “Like a whore?”

“Mace…” She stopped and rubbed her eyes. Of all the places he could be doing this, her precinct should not be one of them.

“You’re doing it again.”

“Doing what?”

“Trying to make me crazy.”

The look he gave her was pure predatory male. “I like you crazy.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“That’s a shitty thing to do. It’s almost catlike in its evilness.”

“See, your problem is you underestimate dogs. There’s a reason many of us are let up on the couch, while they keep y’all in a zoo.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“You do know I’m the one person who can shoot you and make it look like justifiable homicide?”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“Jealousy over some big, dumb bear flew out the window as he stared at Ronnie. “You…you were banned from Norway? The country?”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“Uh…tell me, Mace. Have you actually let her in on the fact she’s yours now?”

“No. But I will. She’ll simply have to deal with it.”

Smitty sighed. “So says the King of the Jungle.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“Didn’t she know?
“Yes” to dinner today.
“Yes” to marriage tomorrow.
Dammit, he had a schedule to keep.
A schedule that involved getting her sweet ass into bed as fast as humanly possible.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“Mace growled and wondered how much prison time a man would do for tossing his sister into the East River.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“Oh, look. The idiot of the jungle awakens.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“Mace-Let's get something straight right now woman...we are a couple.

Dez-I never agreed to that!

Mace- Don't care!”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“Exactly what was wrong with her? And could she pass it on to any children she may have?”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“He’d hate to start killing people at this stage in the game. Especially some poor schmuck who happened to marry the wrong woman.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“Don’t fret none, darlin’. I got your back.”

“You said that in Budapest. I still have the scars, too.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“He growled. Really, how attached could Smitty be to his sister? Would he really notice if Mace killed her?”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“Why couldn’t she get the man out of her mind? Because he reminded you what that hole between your legs is really for.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“Lessons? Oh no. I didn’t need lessons.” He glanced up and found her shaking her head in disgust at her own idiocy. “You see, Sissy said I wouldn’t need lessons. ‘You’re a shifter,’ she said. ‘We can do anything,’ she said.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“I’m okay,” he reassured her before he could say something stupid. Like “marry me.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“Here, baby. Here’s a towel.”

She reached back, unable to face the man, and grasped the towel he handed her. Of course, it was a dish towel and not much good.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“You got pulled over on the Autobahn?”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“She never discussed her past in detail, but a few tidbits she’d dropped here and there over the last few months they’d all been hanging together convinced Ronnie and Sissy that the woman hadn’t merely lived on the wild side, but instead owned prime real estate there.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“In fact, his adult brain acted like his adolescent brain used to. It stopped functioning. All it wanted to do was wrap itself around the owner of that scent and purr.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“That’s nothing. To impress a polar bear I met in Switzerland, I once got on two tiny sticks and flew down a snow-covered mountain.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“True, but now you’ve got Bren. Think of it like an extra pair of thermal underwear. Sometimes you’re in a situation when you really need two.”

Ronnie started to sip her hot chocolate but stopped and put her cup back down. “Darlin’, that is one of the dumbest analogies I’ve heard in a long time.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“You cry at a movie but not about your brother?”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“But I was about to make him see God…”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“She was thinking, I have a nut in my house. How do I get the nut out of my house?”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event