Chassis Albuquerque > Chassis's Quotes

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#1

“I’ve had affairs before but never like this - I need a reason to leave my wife,” Shimansky said, desperately appealing to me.
“Won't you wife be annoyed?" I asked.
“Probably. No doubt. She usually is…” he said.
“That's very complicated. Even worse, what if your wife forgives you…? What then? You going to stay with her and keep doing the other one…?”
From: "The Sundial Salesman.”
― Chassis Albuquerque, The Sundial Salesman

tags: humor, humour, parody, satire, satire-quotes

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#2

“Can anyone be arrested for being such an asshole as him? Should they pass a law, legislate for just such things, make it a criminal offense you could be detained for being such an asshole?
But then most of the world's men would be behind bars serving life term sentences, without parole.”
― Chassis Albuquerque, The Sundial Salesman

tags: humor, humour, literary-fiction, satire

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#3

“As far as I could tell his problems with his wife were pretty typical, they’d run out of things to say to one another. And the things they did think up to say were pretty unkind and shit. Their life and marriage sounded as if it consisted of him gradually removing their most impressive moments and then rearranging them in a mutually one-sided fashion so that every moment with her was torture.”
― Chassis Albuquerque, The Sundial Salesman

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#4

“I wouldn't say I hate my job and hate my life. But if I'd to choose it'd be a pretty fine line and so indiscernible I easily wander over the border between the two and back again without ever being fully aware of the transgression.”
― Chassis Albuquerque, The Sundial Salesman

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#5

“Even if she was only just 17, sometimes a woman can be so busy they forget to have a sense of humour and can't remember even how beautiful they used to feel and all that remains is the marching band smile of several serious but invisible injuries.”
― Chassis Albuquerque, The Sundial Salesman

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#6

“A LIGHT RAIN fell across Tokyo. I looked out the window over the dull, grey landscape of TV aerials poking into the sky and out over the smoking, smouldering remains of the city in the distance looking much like an old, ugly industrial painting with its thick dirty, smudged colours.”
― Chassis Albuquerque, The Sundial Salesman

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#7

“When I was leaving August Burgman looked at me, mystified.
"You could've asked for the world!" she said, which just proved, she'd no idea how the goddamn world worked or how much it would’ve cost.”
― Chassis Albuquerque, The Sundial Salesman

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#8

“So while Ronald Ford was the son of royalty and I was King of the Dreamers, we were both impecunious.
But, as you can tell, pretty well-read.
All of which still counted for shit when you no money.
Downtown, in a parking lot in the middle of the day whilst people shopped around with their kids amidst their arguments and new purchases, Ronald Ford had purchased a range of narcotics.
It had been that quick to get high.”
― Chassis Albuquerque, The Sundial Salesman

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#9

“If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?”
― Albert Einstein

tags: science

8415 likes

#10

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
― Frank Herbert, Dune

tags: bene-gesserit, fear, litany-against-fear, motivational, scifi

16776 likes

#11

“Books are the ultimate Dumpees: put them down and they’ll wait for you forever; pay attention to them and they always love you back.”
― John Green, An Abundance of Katherines

tags: books, reading

16486 likes

#13

“Don’t walk in front of me… I may not follow
Don’t walk behind me… I may not lead
Walk beside me… just be my friend”
― Albert Camus

tags: attributed-no-source, friends, friendship, misattributed-albert-camus

93566 likes

#14

“Everybody wants to save the Earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.”
― P.J. O'Rourke, All the Trouble in the World

tags: altruism, dishes, earth, help, mom, save

210 likes

#15

“I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together in the most innocent sense of the phrase. But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was hurricane.”
― John Green, Looking for Alaska

tags: unrequited-love

8551 likes

#16

“A man can go along obeying all the rules and then it don’t matter a damn anymore.”
― Raymond Carver, What We Talk About When We Talk About Love

48 likes

#17

“An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.”
― Niels Bohr

tags: science

4211 likes

#18

“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.”
― Anais Nin

tags: death, love

22137 likes

#19

“I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. I am, I am, I am.”
― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

tags: breath, existence

9788 likes

#20

“I have no money, no resources, no hopes. I am the happiest man alive.”
― Henry Miller

497 likes

#21

“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
― Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

tags: amorality, correct-way, individuality, my-way, only-way, right-way, the-way, your-way

6756 likes

#22

“I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by payment plans”
― Kate Tempest, Hold Your Own

22 likes

#23

“Better to have been a dickhead and seen it,
than be a cunt all your life and not know it.”
― Kate Tempest, Hold Your Own

tags: comeback, insult

48 likes

#24

“Choose Trainspotting.”
― Harry Whitewolf, Rhyme and Rebellion

8 likes

#25

“Stand out.

Someone has to. It is easy to follow along. It can feel strange to do or say something different. But without that unease, there is no freedom. Remember Rosa Parks. The moment you set an example, the spell of the status quo is broken, and others will follow.”
― Timothy Snyder, On Tyranny: Twenty Lessons from the Twentieth Century

tags: contrariness, difference, not-following-along, resistance, setting-an-example, standing-out

10 likes

#26

“Magic. It can get a guy killed.”
― Jim Butcher, Storm Front

tags: dresden-files, harry-dresden, magic

17 likes

#27

“These violent delights have violent ends
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,
Which as they kiss consume. The sweetest honey
Is loathsome in his own deliciousness
And in the taste confounds the appetite.
Therefore love moderately; long love doth so;
Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow.”
― William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

tags: romeo-and-juliet, shakespeare

4283 likes

#28

“The Guide says there is an art to flying", said Ford, "or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

tags: flight, flying, hg2g, humor

4989 likes

#29

“You met me at a very strange time in my life.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

78 likes

#30

“That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.”
― Charles Bukowski, Women

5279 likes