Ravi > Ravi's Quotes

“If they wanted their shit stirred, then stirred their shit was jolly well going to be.”
― Stephen Clarke, A Year in the Merde

“I sat down on the sofa, surrounded by years of coffee rings and sandwich stains. If the police ever did a DNA test on this sofa, it would be ninety per cent disappointment.”
― Danny Wallace

“She got on a plane to see a client in California and somewhere over Colorado, the pilot somehow missed the sky.”
― Jonathan Tropper, How to Talk to a Widower

“I was sprawled out in my usual position on the couch, half asleep but entirely drunk, torturing myself by tearing memories out of my mind at random like matches from a book, striking them one at a time and drowsily setting myself on fire.”
― Jonathan Tropper, How to Talk to a Widower

“Skinny jeans were only good if you had skinny genes.”
― Matt Dunn, A Day at the Office

“I'm an insomniac, my mind works the night shift.”
― Pete Wentz, Gray

“Advice for a human.

81. You can't find happiness looking for the meaning of life. Meaning is only the third most important thing. It comes after loving and being.

82. If you think something is ugly, look harder. Ugliness is just a failure of seeing.”
― Matt Haig, The Humans

“If getting drunk was how people forgot they were mortal, then hangovers were how they remembered.”
― Matt Haig, The Humans

“This was, I would later realise, a planet of things wrapped inside things. Food inside wrappers. Bodies inside clothes. Contempt inside smiles. Everything was hidden away.”
― Matt Haig, The Humans

“So love is about finding the right person to hurt you?”
“Pretty much.”
― Matt Haig, The Humans

“An idiot who does idiotic things is not funny.”
― Timur Vermes, Look Who's Back

“Does the farmer need a critic to tell him how good the soil is in which he cultivates his wheat? No! The farmer himself knows better.”
― Timur Vermes

“It'll be like putting socks on an octopus.”
― Timur Vermes, Look Who's Back

“In Berlin if I have time and again met people who make no secret of the fact that their only reason for stirring at such an ungodly hour of the morning is so that they can leave the office earlier in the afternoon. I have suggested to several of these eight-hour logicians that they ought to start work at ten o'clock at night, thereby allowing them to leave at six in the morning, and perhaps even arrive home before it is time to get up.”
― Timur Vermes, Look Who's Back

“Allowances can always be made for your friends to disagree with you. Disagreement, vehement disagreement, is healthy. Debate is impossible without it. Evil does not question itself, only hope questions itself. Even the incorruptible are corruptible if they cannot accept the possibility of being mistaken. Infallibility is a sin in any man. All laws can be broken and are. Often. Like when a bumblebee flies or an ancient regime is toppled.”
― Craig Ferguson, Between the Bridge and the River

“His face had gotten so fat his eyes were little bloodshot dots of mistrust.”
― Craig Ferguson, Between the Bridge and the River

“When someone says that their love will never die, it means that they love is not real, for everything that is real dies.”
― Craig Ferguson, Between the Bridge and the River

“Hotel rooms have an aphrodisiac quality.”
― Craig Ferguson, Between the Bridge and the River