Laura > Laura's Quotes

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  • #1
    Karen Chance
    “I'm tired, I'm hungry and I have a head in a bag," I warned him. "Do not fuck with me.”
    Karen Chance, Death's Mistress

  • #2
    I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control
    “I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
    Marilyn Monroe

  • #3
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    Albert Einstein

  • #4
    I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!
    “I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!”
    Charles M. Schulz

  • #5
    Steve  Martin
    “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
    Steve Martin

  • #6
    Douglas Adams
    “The story so far:
    In the beginning the Universe was created.
    This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
    Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

  • #7
    Markus Herz
    “Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.”
    Markus Herz

  • #8
    Terry Pratchett
    “Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.”
    Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

  • #9
    Terry Pratchett
    “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
    Terry Pratchett, Diggers

  • #10
    Terry Pratchett
    “It's not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing it.”
    Terry Pratchett

  • #11
    Terry Pratchett
    “No! Please! I'll tell you whatever you want to know!" the man yelled.
    "Really?" said Vimes. "What's the orbital velocity of the moon?"
    "What?"
    "Oh, you'd like something simpler?”
    Terry Pratchett, Night Watch

  • #12
    Terry Pratchett
    “I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
    Death thought about it.
    CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.”
    Terry Pratchett, Sourcery

  • #13
    Terry Pratchett
    “There is a rumour going around that I have found God. I think this is unlikely because I have enough difficulty finding my keys, and there is empirical evidence that they exist.”
    Terry Pratchett

  • #14
    Neil Gaiman
    “An Angel who did not so much Fall as Saunter Vaguely Downwards.”
    Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

  • #15
    Patricia Briggs
    “Nothing says you're sorry like a dead bunny.”
    Patricia Briggs, River Marked

  • #16
    Patricia Briggs
    “He stopped what he was doing and pulled out his magic phone.

    Okay, the phone wasn't magic, but it does things my computer struggles with.”
    Patricia Briggs, River Marked

  • #17
    Patricia Briggs
    “Women are the bloodthirsty sex," said Ric sadly. "We get the reputation, but it is only because the women stand behind us, and say, 'Kill it. Squish it.”
    Patricia Briggs, Hunting Ground

  • #18
    Patricia Briggs
    “My grandfather would have loved to have met you," he told her huskily. "He would have called you 'She Moves Trees Out of His Path.' "

    She looked lost, but his da laughed. He'd known the old man, too.

    "He called me 'He Who Must Run into Trees,'" Charles explained, and in a spirit of honesty, a need for his mate to know who he was, he continued, "or sometimes 'Running Eagle.' "

    " 'Running Eagle'?" Anna puzzled it over, frowning at him. "What's wrong with that?"

    "Too stupid to fly," murmured his father with a little smile.”
    Patricia Briggs, Hunting Ground

  • #19
    Susan Elizabeth Phillips
    “You know that we've got a few problems we need to talk through before we get married."

    "I'm not getting rid of Pooh."

    "See, there you go being antagonistic. Marriage means learning to compromise."

    "I didn't say I wouldn't compromise. I promise to take the ribbon out of her topknot before you walk her.”
    Susan Elizabeth Phillips, It Had to Be You

  • #20
    Chloe Neill
    “Morgan and Catcher said their manly hellos - consisting of a symbolic head bob from Catcher (of the "You're in my lair now" variety) and a responding nod from Morgan (of the "You are clearly the king of this castle" variety).”
    Chloe Neill, Friday Night Bites

  • #21
    J.D. Robb
    “There's an oatmeal cookie in there. I see no reason for the existence of oatmeal, particularly in cookies.”
    J.D. Robb, Divided in Death

  • #22
    Elle Jasper
    “My Gullah grandfather is bringing a bag of dust to a vampire war. I feel better.”
    Elle Jasper, Afterlight

  • #23
    Nora Roberts
    “You have to unhook your seat belt." "That's not true." "I'm afraid it's difficult to walk on the beach if you're strapped to a car seat.”
    Nora Roberts, Command Performance

  • #24
    Julie James
    “She spoke under her breath to Nick. "Is there a reason he's only wearing one sock?" "He puked on his foot." "Oh." She turned back to Huxley. "Can we get you another sock? Maybe a blanket or something?”
    Julie James, A Lot like Love

  • #25
    Julie James
    “Boyfriend huh? I didn't realize we had taken things to that level."
    "Oh, I'm sorry--this is my first undercover operation," Jordan said. "I'm a little unclear about the rules. Are we seeing other people in this fake relationship?”
    Julie James, A Lot like Love

  • #26
    Julie James
    “It was time to break out the don't-fuck-with-me face.”
    Julie James, A Lot like Love
    tags: humor

  • #27
    Norah Wilson
    “The look he shot her was incredulous in the extreme. "You have a filing system for your shoes?”
    Norah Wilson, Guarding Suzannah

  • #28
    Norah Wilson
    “Okay, but would you say between us we have the combined IQ of at least a garden slug?”
    Norah Wilson, Guarding Suzannah

  • #29
    Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.
    “Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.”
    Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

  • #30
    Lao Tzu
    “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”
    Lao Tzu



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