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  • #1
    Joseph Conrad
    “Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade since it consists principally of dealings with men.”
    ― Joseph Conrad, Chance
    tags: women
    12382 likes

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  • #2
    Groucho Marx
    “Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
    ― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx
    tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor
    38004 likes

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  • #3
    Steve Martin
    “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
    ― Steve Martin
    tags: humor, obvious, simile
    35264 likes

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  • #4
    Thomas Szasz
    “Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.”
    ― Thomas Szasz
    tags: humor, inspirational
    9770 likes

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  • #5
    Douglas Adams
    “The story so far:
    In the beginning the Universe was created.
    This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
    tags: humor, scifi
    23473 likes

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  • #6
    Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
    “The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.”
    ― Kurt Vonnegut
    tags: humor
    1407 likes

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  • #7
    Albert Einstein
    “Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: funny
    5178 likes

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  • #8
    Jerry Seinfeld
    “If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?”
    ― Jerry Seinfeld
    tags: books, funny
    4023 likes

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  • #9
    Herbert Hoover
    “Older men declare war. But it is youth that must fight and die.”
    ― Herbert Hoover
    tags: age, death, fighting, old-age, war, youth
    3314 likes

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  • #10
    Bob Marley
    “One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.”
    ― Bob Marley
    tags: music
    23156 likes

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  • #11
    Blink-182
    “the past is only the future with the lights on.”
    ― Mark Hoppus, blink-182: Tales from Beneath Your Mom
    tags: music
    815 likes

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  • #12
    Tom Stoppard
    “I mean, if Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at twenty-two, the history of music would have been very different. As would the history of aviation, of course.”
    ― Tom Stoppard, The Real Thing
    tags: music
    228 likes

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  • #13
    Frank Zappa
    “Definition of rock journalism: People who can't write, doing interviews with people who can't think, in order to prepare articles for people who can't read.”
    ― Frank Zappa, The Real Frank Zappa Book
    659 likes

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  • #14
    Dr. Seuss
    “You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
    ― Dr. Seuss
    tags: attributed-no-source, dreams, love, reality, sleep
    127372 likes

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  • #15
    Oscar Wilde
    “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
    ― Oscar Wilde
    177601 likes

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  • #16
    Oscar Wilde
    “I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
    ― Oscar Wilde, The Happy Prince and Other Stories
    tags: intelligence, self-deprecation
    71744 likes

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  • #17
    Mark Twain
    “Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
    ― Mark Twain
    34483 likes

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  • #18
    Oscar Wilde
    “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
    ― Oscar Wilde
    85065 likes

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  • #19
    Marilyn Monroe
    “Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”
    ― Marilyn Monroe
    tags: attributed-no-source, be-yourself, inspirational
    50004 likes

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  • #20
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
    ― Paul Terry
    tags: exercise, humor, laziness, misattributed-to-hutchins
    24397 likes

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  • #21
    Douglas Adams
    “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time
    tags: deadlines, humor, humour, work, writing
    32156 likes

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  • #22
    Garrison Keillor
    “Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
    ― Garrison Keillor
    tags: humor, religion
    30272 likes

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  • #23
    Marilyn Monroe
    “A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left.”
    ― Marilyn Monroe
    tags: attributed-no-source
    19276 likes

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  • #24
    “There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.”
    ― Linda Grayson
    tags: chocolate, friendship
    16487 likes

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  • #25
    Friedrich Nietzsche
    “I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.”
    ― Friedrich Nietzsche
    tags: lies, lying, trust
    31633 likes

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  • #26
    Marilyn Monroe
    “I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love.”
    ― Marilyn Monroe
    tags: attributed-no-source
    18703 likes

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  • #27
    Woody Allen
    “I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
    ― Woody Allen
    tags: death, fear, humor, life
    25658 likes

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  • #28
    Bill Watterson
    “Reality continues to ruin my life.”
    ― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
    tags: calvin-and-hobbes, humor, life
    21210 likes

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  • #29
    Benjamin Franklin Wade
    “Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.”
    ― Benjamin Franklin Wade
    tags: humor, misattributed-mark-twain, philosophy, theology
    19868 likes

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  • #30
    Chuck Palahniuk
    “All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.”
    ― Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
    tags: god, humor, life
    11623 likes



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Tags From Jane’s Quotes

women
animals
books
dogs
friends
humor
obvious
simile
inspirational
scifi
funny
age
death
fighting
old-age
war
youth
music
attributed-no-source
dreams
love
reality
sleep
intelligence
self-deprecation
be-yourself
exercise
laziness
misattributed-to-hutchins
deadlines
humour
work
writing
religion
chocolate
friendship
lies
lying
trust
fear
life
calvin-and-hobbes
misattributed-mark-twain
philosophy
theology
god