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  • #1
    Rodney Dangerfield
    “I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”
    Rodney Dangerfield

  • #2
    James  Patterson
    “Basically, I have two speeds.... Hostile or smart-aleck. Your choice.”
    James Patterson, Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

  • #3
    James  Patterson
    “Did you know that wasn’t me, the other Max?” I asked.
    “Yeah.”
    “When?”
    “Right away.”
    “How?” I persisted. “We look identical. She even had identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could you tell us apart?”
    He turned to me and grinned, making my world brighter. “She offered to cook breakfast.”
    James Patterson, School's Out—Forever

  • #4
    James  Patterson
    “Vhat ozzer abilities do you haf?" ter Borcht snapped, which his assistant waited, pen in hand.
    Gazzy thought. "I have X-ray vision," he said. He peered at ter Borcht's chest, then blinked and looked alarmed.
    Ter Borcht was startled for a second, but then he frowned. "Don't write dat down," he told his assistant in irritation. The assistant froze in midsentence.
    "You. Do you haf any qualities dat distinguish you in any way?"
    Nudge chewed on a fingernail. "You mean, like, besides the WINGS?" She shook her shoulders gently, and her beautiful fawn-colored wings unfolded a bit.
    His face flushed, and I felt like cheering. "Yes," he said stiffly. "Besides de vings."
    "Hmm. Besides de vings." Nudge tapped one finger against her chin. "Um..." Her face brightened. "I once ate nine Snickers bars in one sitting. Without barfing. That was a record!"
    "Hardly a special talent," ter Borcht said witheringly.
    Nudge was offended. "Yeah? Let's see YOU do it."
    ...
    "I vill now eat nine Snickers bars," Gazzy said in a perfect, creepy imitation of ter Borcht's voice, "visout bahfing."
    Iggy rubbed his forehead with one hand. "Well, I have a highly developed sense of irony."
    Ter Borcht tsked. "You are a liability to your group. I assume you alvays hold on to someone's shirt, yes? Following dem closely?"
    "Only when I'm trying to steal their dessert"
    ...Fang pretended to think, gazing up at the ceiling. "Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica."
    "I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahrs!" Gazzy barked.”
    James Patterson

  • #5
    James  Patterson
    “Man, you weigh a freaking ton," he told me. "What've you been eating, rocks?"
    "Why, is your head missing some?" I croaked. His mouth almost quirked in a smile, and that's when I knew how upset he'd been”
    James Patterson, The Angel Experiment

  • #6
    James  Patterson
    “They turned to Angel. "We will call you Little One," the leader said, obviously deciding to dispense with the whole confusing name thing.
    "Okay," said Angel agreeably. "I'll call you Guy in a White Lab Coat." He frowned.
    "That can be his Indian name," I suggested.”
    James Patterson, Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

  • #7
    James  Patterson
    “You...are...a...fridge...with wings,' Fang ground out, punching an Eraser hard with every word. 'We're...freaking...ballet...dancers.”
    James Patterson, School's Out—Forever

  • #8
    James  Patterson
    “I can talk to fish!" Angel said happily, water dripping off her long, skinny body. "Ask one over for dinner," Fang said, joining us.”
    James Patterson, School's Out—Forever

  • #9
    James  Patterson
    “What I said yesterday didn't mean anything! I love everyone in the flock! Plus, it was the Valium talking!"
    "Uh-huh. You just keep telling yourself that. You looove me."
    Max: (tries to punch him)
    "Pick a tree. I'll go carve our initials in it."
    Max: (screams and runs into bathroom)”
    James Patterson, Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

  • #10
    James  Patterson
    “I feel like, like pudding," Iggy groaned. "Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain.”
    James Patterson, The Angel Experiment

  • #11
    James  Patterson
    “Max, you're the last of the hybrids who still has...a soul.' ... 'She doesn't have soul,' Gazzy scoffed. 'Have you ever seen her dance?”
    James Patterson, Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

  • #12
    James  Patterson
    “We’ll be back!” he snarled.
    It was really Ari’s voice.
    Boy, you just can’t kill people like you used to,” said Fang”
    James Patterson, School's Out—Forever

  • #13
    James  Patterson
    “YOU COULD LOCK the Gasman in a padded cell with some dental floss and a bowl of Jell-O, and he'd find a way to make something to explode.”
    James Patterson, Max

  • #14
    James  Patterson
    “Here's a freebie: Don't play poker with a kid who can read minds.”
    James Patterson, The Final Warning

  • #15
    James  Patterson
    “Don’t ever leave me again,” I said in a tiny voice.
    I won’t,” he promised into my hair, sounding most un-Fang-like. “I won’t. Not ever.”
    And just like that, a cold shard of ice that had been inside my chest ever since we’d split up-well, it just disappeared. I felt myself relax for the first time in I don’t known how long. The wind was chilly, but the sun was bright, and my whole flock was together. Fang and I were together.
    Excuse me? I’m alive too.” Iggy’s plaintive voice made me pull back.”
    James Patterson

  • #16
    James  Patterson
    “Max: "Fang! This is a huge break! Of course we should go check it out!"
    Fang: "But we're grounded."
    Max and Fang: (stare at each other for a second and burst out laughing)”
    James Patterson, School's Out—Forever

  • #17
    James  Patterson
    “What happened to your tan?"--Fang
    "It was dirt." --Max”
    James Patterson, The Final Warning

  • #18
    James  Patterson
    “That was the funniest thing I'd heard in days.
    You're kidding, right? PLEASE tell me you have a stronger motive for me than 'fair is fair.' Life isn't FAIR, Dean....Nothing is fair, EVER. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I need to help you because FAIR IS FAIR? Try, 'I need you to help me so I won't rip out your spine and beat you with it.' I MIGHT respond to that. MAYBE.”
    James Patterson, School's Out—Forever

  • #19
    James  Patterson
    “Can I come in?
    No! I'm in a towel!
    I'm blind!”
    James Patterson

  • #20
    James  Patterson
    “I hate this guy,” Ari muttered, keeping his head down
    “There’s a club,” I told him. “The Haters of ter Borcht Club. Have you gotten your badge yet?”
    James Patterson

  • #21
    James  Patterson
    “Q: You'er presented with a smooth-faced, eight-foot-high wooden wall. Your objective? Get over it. To, like, save comrades or something. How to accomplish this?

    A: Take a running start, brace one foot against the wall, throw one hand to the top, try to hang on long enough for a comrade to either grab your hand at the top or for another comrade to push your butt up from below. It takes team work!

    BKA (bird kid answer): Or you could just, like, fly over it.”
    James Patterson, Max

  • #22
    James  Patterson
    “You looove me. (holds out arms) You love me this much.”
    James Patterson, Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

  • #23
    James  Patterson
    “He's gonna be fine," I confirmed.
    Can we see him?" Iggy asked.
    Ig, I hate to break it to you, but you're blind.”
    James Patterson, School's Out—Forever

  • #24
    James  Patterson
    “They [Erasers] were bad fliers," Angel chimed in, "And in their minds, they weren't all kill the mutants, like they usually are. They were like, remember to flap!”
    James Patterson, School's Out—Forever

  • #25
    James  Patterson
    “Fang: "There is one bright side to this."
    Max: "Yeah? What's that?" The new and improved Erasers would mutilate us before they killed us?
    Fang: *grins* You looove me. (holds out arms) You love me this much.
    Max: My shriek of appalled rage would probably be heard in California, or maybe Hawaii.”
    James Patterson, Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

  • #26
    James  Patterson
    “Nudge: "I look like prep school Barbie. (looks at Max) Actually, you look like prep school Barbie. I'm just Barbie's friend.”
    James Patterson, School's Out—Forever

  • #27
    James  Patterson
    “You were designed to be very smart, Max,' she told me. 'We electrically stimulated your synaptic nerve endings while your brain was developing.' (The director)
    And yet I still can't program my DVD player,' I said." (Max)”
    James Patterson

  • #28
    James  Patterson
    “Well, that's an evil smile...”
    James Patterson, The Angel Experiment

  • #29
    James  Patterson
    “What are you doing here?” [ndr prison]
    Selling Girl Scout cookies,” I said. “Want some? The Samoas are terrific.”
    (Max II to Max)”
    James Patterson, Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

  • #30
    James  Patterson
    “You don't speak much, do you?" ter Borcht said, circling him slowly.
    Fittingly, Fang said nothing.
    Vhy do you let a girl be de leader?" ter Borcht asked, a calculating look in his eye.
    She's the tough one," Fang said.
    Dang right, I thought proudly.
    Is dere anysing special about you?" asked ter Borcht. "Anysing vorth saving?"
    Fang pretended to think, gazing up at the ceiling. "Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica.”
    James Patterson, Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports



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