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Josh Haywood > Josh's Quotes

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  • #1
    Bernard M. Baruch
    “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”
    ― Bernard M. Baruch
    tags: ataraxy, be-yourself, confidence, fitting-in, individuality, misattributed-dr-seuss, those-who-matter
    130408 likes

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  • #2
    William W. Purkey
    “You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
    Love like you'll never be hurt,
    Sing like there's nobody listening,
    And live like it's heaven on earth.”
    ― William W. Purkey
    tags: dance, heaven, hurt, inspirational, life, love, sing
    129149 likes

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  • #3
    I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control
    “I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
    ― Marilyn Monroe
    tags: attributed-no-source, best, life, love, misattributed-marilyn-monroe, mistakes, out-of-control, truth, worst
    165480 likes

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  • #4
    Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
    “Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.”
    ― Kurt Vonnegut
    tags: humour, telekinetics
    10128 likes

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  • #5
    Rodney Dangerfield
    “I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.”
    ― Rodney Dangerfield
    tags: crime, funny, humour, neighborhoods
    3719 likes

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  • #6
    Robert Orben
    “Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.”
    ― Robert Orben
    tags: humour, politics, truth
    3207 likes

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  • #7
    Rodney Dangerfield
    “Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.”
    ― Rodney Dangerfield
    tags: crime, funny, humour
    1540 likes

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  • #8
    Rodney Dangerfield
    “What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.”
    ― Rodney Dangerfield
    tags: funny, humour, infidelity, parenthood, parenting, sexuality
    2190 likes

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  • #9
    Rodney Dangerfield
    “I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.”
    ― Rodney Dangerfield
    tags: funny, humour, neighborhoods
    965 likes

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  • #10
    Terry Pratchett
    “I'd rather be a rising ape than a falling angel.”
    ― Terry Pratchett
    1274 likes

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  • #11
    Terry Pratchett
    “Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...”
    ― Terry Pratchett
    tags: doom, video-games
    700 likes

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  • #12
    Carl Hiaasen
    “Hey. Sometimes life is a shit flavored Popsicle.”
    ― Carl Hiaasen, Nature Girl
    tags: humour
    646 likes

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  • #13
    Matt Groening
    “Of course I’ve gone mad with power! Have you ever tried going mad without power? It’s boring and no one listens to you!
    — Russ Cargill”
    ― Matt Groening
    tags: humour, simpsons
    420 likes

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  • #15
    John Brunner
    “It's supposed to be automatic, but actually you have to push this button. ”
    ― John Brunner, Stand on Zanzibar
    tags: humour, sociology, technology
    182 likes

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  • #16
    Lawrence Ferlinghetti
    “If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out.”
    ― Lawrence Ferlinghetti
    tags: beatnik, cynical, funny, humour
    2885 likes

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  • #17
    John Waters
    “If you go home with somebody, and they don't have books, don't fuck 'em!”
    ― John Waters
    tags: books, fuck, profanity, reading
    5241 likes

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  • #18
    Bob Dylan
    “Play it fuckin' loud!”
    ― Bob Dylan
    tags: fuck, music, profanity, rock-music
    2019 likes

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  • #19
    Charles Bukowski
    “in this land some of us fuck more than
    we die but most of us die
    better than we fuck”
    ― Charles Bukowski, Love Is a Dog from Hell
    563 likes

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  • #20
    Joan Crawford
    “Don't fuck with me, fellas. This ain't my first time at the rodeo.”
    ― Joan Crawford
    228 likes

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  • #21
    Lenny Bruce
    “If you can't say "Fuck" you can't say, "Fuck the government.”
    ― Lenny Bruce
    tags: censorship, fuck, government, profanity
    280 likes

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  • #22
    Amy Winehouse
    “What kind of fuckery is this?”
    ― Amy Winehouse
    tags: amy-winehouse, fuck, profanity
    217 likes

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  • #23
    Patti Smith
    “Well I haven't fucked much with the past,
    But I've fucked plenty with the future.

    - Babelogue”
    ― Patti Smith, Patti Smith Collected Lyrics, 1970-2015: Lyrics, Reflections & Notes for the Future
    tags: lyrics
    388 likes

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  • #24
    Samuel Beckett
    “The earth makes a sound as of sighs and the last drops fall from the emptied cloudless sky. A small boy, stretching out his hands and looking up at the blue sky, asked his mother how such a thing was possible. Fuck off, she said.”
    ― Samuel Beckett
    tags: beckett, fuck, irish, off, samuel, writer
    303 likes

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  • #25
    Phyllis Diller
    “Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”
    ― Phyllis Diller
    tags: anger, funny, sleep
    8248 likes

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  • #26
    Albert Einstein
    “Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: funny
    5176 likes

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  • #27
    Jerry Seinfeld
    “If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?”
    ― Jerry Seinfeld
    tags: books, funny
    4021 likes

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  • #28
    Yogi Berra
    “Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.”
    ― Yogi Berra, When You Come to a Fork in the Road, Take It!: Inspiration and Wisdom from One of Baseball's Greatest Heroes
    tags: funny
    3001 likes

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  • #29
    Golda Meir
    “Don't be so humble - you are not that great.”
    ― Golda Meir
    tags: funny, golda, meir, true
    3535 likes

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  • #30
    Benjamin Franklin
    “A Penny Saved is a Penny Earned”
    ― Benjamin Franklin
    tags: funny, inspirational, money
    1614 likes

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  • #31
    Billy Sunday
    “Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.”
    ― Billy Sunday, "Billy" Sunday, the man and his message: with his own words which have won thousands for Christ
    tags: automobile, car, funny, humor, religious
    8921 likes



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