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“So yes, I say things I regret constantly, and I just can't help it.”
― Kathy Griffin

“I was raised right — I talk about people behind their backs. It's called manners.”
― Kathy Griffin

“Only men you can count on these days are Ben and Jerry.”
― Janet Evanovich

“He [Ranger] stopped in front of my parents' house, and we both looked to the door. My mother and my grandmother were standing there, watching us.
"I'm not sure I feel comfortable about the way your grandma looks at me," Ranger said.
[Stephanie] "She wants to see you naked."
"I wish you hadn't told me that, babe."
"Everyone I know wants to see you naked."
"And you?"
"Never crossed my mind." I held my breath when I said it, and I hoped God wouldn't stike me down dead for lying.”
― Janet Evanovich, Hard Eight

“Ask me if I sparkle and I’ll kill you where you stand.” (Bones)”
― Jeaniene Frost, This Side of the Grave

“I know I'm delicious. Nummy.....nummy.
-Vlad”
― Jeaniene Frost, This Side of the Grave

“Will the real Red Reaper please stand up?”
― Jeaniene Frost, One Grave at a Time

“Here's a basic difference between Morelli and me. My first thought was always of cake. His first thought was always of sex. Don't get me wrong. I like sex . . . a lot. But it's never going to replace cake.”
― Janet Evanovich, Eleven on Top

“Well, that cinched it. He was an asshole. I was definitely going to end up sleeping with him.”
― Molly Harper, How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf

“The golden years are for pussies. We went straight to brass.”
― Janet Evanovich, Fearless Fourteen

“I've had so many bikini waxes, I cry every time I see a Popsicle stick.”
― Libba Bray, Beauty Queens