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Zekses > Zekses's Quotes

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  • #1
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
    148593 likes

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  • #2
    Mark Twain
    “Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
    ― Mark Twain
    34483 likes

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  • #3
    Douglas Adams
    “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time
    tags: deadlines, humor, humour, work, writing
    32155 likes

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  • #4
    Steven Pressfield
    “A horse must be a bit mad to be a good cavalry mount, and its rider must be completely so.”
    ― Steven Pressfield, The Virtues of War
    tags: alexander-the-great, humor
    96 likes

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  • #5
    Groucho Marx
    “From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: books, humor, reading
    3620 likes

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  • #6
    Steve Martin
    “I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.”
    ― steve martin
    918 likes

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  • #7
    Ronald Reagan
    “I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.”
    ― Ronald Reagan
    tags: growing-older, humor, napping, politics
    468 likes

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  • #8
    George Burns
    “When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.”
    ― George Burns
    tags: age, humor
    458 likes

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  • #9
    Groucho Marx
    “I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: books, humor, reading, television
    23107 likes

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  • #10
    Groucho Marx
    “When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: friends, humor, jail
    10183 likes

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  • #11
    Groucho Marx
    “I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.”
    ― Groucho Marx, Groucho and Me
    tags: clique, clubs, humor, membership
    1872 likes

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  • #12
    Groucho Marx
    “Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: attributed-no-source
    2824 likes

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  • #13
    Groucho Marx
    “I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: absurd, gibe, insult
    846 likes

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  • #14
    Groucho Marx
    “Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: humor
    467 likes

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  • #15
    Groucho Marx
    “He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: gibe, insult
    1091 likes

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  • #16
    Groucho Marx
    “While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: money
    967 likes

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  • #17
    Groucho Marx
    “Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: humor
    88 likes

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  • #18
    Rita Mae Brown
    “The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you.”
    ― Rita Mae Brown
    tags: humor, insanity
    12673 likes

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  • #19
    George Carlin
    “Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
    ― George Carlin
    tags: humor
    3903 likes

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  • #20
    Laurence J. Peter
    “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?”
    ― Laurence J. Peter
    tags: misattributed-einstein
    8423 likes

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  • #21
    Ambrose Bierce
    “The covers of this book are too far apart.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce
    tags: attributed-no-source, books, criticism, humor, wit
    1599 likes

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  • #22
    Jon Stewart
    “Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.”
    ― Jon Stewart
    tags: humor, religion
    1285 likes

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  • #23
    “My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is.”
    ― Ellen DeGeneres
    tags: age, exercise, family, grandmothers, grandparents, humor, walking
    2436 likes

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  • #24
    Herman Wouk
    “When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.”
    ― Herman Wouk
    tags: danger, humor
    1197 likes

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  • #25
    C.S. Lewis
    “She's the sort of woman who lives for others - you can tell the others by their hunted expression.”
    ― C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters
    tags: humor, women, zealousness
    1422 likes

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  • #26
    Rowena Cherry
    “Carpe Scrotum. Seize life by the testicles”
    ― Rowena Cherry, Knight's Fork
    tags: futuristic, humor, knight-s-fork, romance, rowena-cherry
    745 likes

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  • #27
    Charles Bukowski
    “Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”
    ― Charles Bukowski
    tags: humor
    22525 likes

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  • #28
    Charles Bukowski
    “Do you hate people?”

    “I don't hate them...I just feel better when they're not around.”
    ― Charles Bukowski, Barfly
    tags: humour, misanthropy, paraphrased
    13386 likes



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Tags From Zekses’s Quotes

attributed-no-source
human-nature
humor
infinity
philosophy
science
stupidity
universe
deadlines
humour
work
writing
alexander-the-great
books
reading
growing-older
napping
politics
age
television
friends
jail
clique
clubs
membership
absurd
gibe
insult
money
insanity
misattributed-einstein
criticism
wit
religion
exercise
family
grandmothers
grandparents
walking
danger
women
zealousness
futuristic
knight-s-fork
romance
rowena-cherry
misanthropy
paraphrased