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Robert E Williams > Robert E Williams's Quotes

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  • #1
    Dorothy Parker
    “Humor to me, Heaven help me, takes in many things. There must be courage; there must be no awe. There must be criticism, for humor, to my mind, is encapsulated in criticism. There must be a disciplined eye and a wild mind. There must be a magnificent disregard of your reader, for if he cannot follow you, there is nothing you can do about it.”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    tags: humor
    4 likes

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  • #2
    Dorothy Parker
    “I'm never going to accomplish anything; that's perfectly clear to me. I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.”
    ― Dorothy Parker, Here Lies: The Collected Stories of Dorothy Parker
    362 likes

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  • #3
    Dorothy Parker
    “Eternity is a ham and two people” (also given as “Eternity is two people and a ham") is an old quip from the days when a ham was huge—far more than two people could finish. Irma Rombauer mentions this line in her famous cookbook, The Joy of Cooking.”
    ― Dorothy Parker or Irma Rombauer
    tags: humorous-quotes
    3 likes

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  • #4
    “This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”
    ― Sid Ziff
    tags: bad-reviews, book, humorist, misattributed-dorothy-parker, wit
    1615 likes

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  • #5
    Dorothy Parker
    “I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    tags: humor
    1258 likes

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  • #6
    Dorothy Parker
    “Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    tags: dorothy-parker, heterosexuality, homosexuality, humor, wit
    1629 likes

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  • #7
    Dorothy Parker
    “Don't look at me in that tone of voice.”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    tags: disapproval, humor, wordplay
    1426 likes

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  • #8
    Dorothy Parker
    “I hate writing, I love having written.”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    tags: writing, writing-process
    1547 likes

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  • #9
    Dorothy Parker
    “I like to have a martini,
    Two at the very most.
    After three I'm under the table,
    after four I'm under my host.”
    ― Dorothy Parker, The Collected Dorothy Parker
    tags: drinking, drunken-behaviour, humor
    1319 likes

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  • #10
    Dorothy Parker
    “Tell him I was too fucking busy-- or vice versa.”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    tags: wordplay
    1263 likes

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  • #11
    Dorothy Parker
    “What fresh hell is this?”
    ― Dorothy Parker, The Portable Dorothy Parker
    1036 likes

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  • #12
    Dorothy Parker
    “They sicken of the calm who know the storm.”
    ― Dorothy Parker, Sunset Gun: Poems
    tags: calm, excitement, storm, women
    888 likes

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  • #13
    Dorothy Parker
    “Brevity is the soul of lingerie.”
    ― Dorothy Parker, While Rome Burns
    710 likes

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  • #14
    Dorothy Parker
    “You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.”
    ― Dorothy Parker, You Might As Well Live: The Life and Times of Dorothy Parker
    tags: horticulture, puns
    819 likes

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  • #15
    Dorothy Parker
    “That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    tags: epitaph, humor, the-new-yorker
    852 likes

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  • #16
    Dorothy Parker
    “This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it."

    [Women Know Everything!]”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    tags: bad-reviews, fancy, raisins, terrible, wordplay
    747 likes

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  • #17
    Dorothy Parker
    “She was pleased to have him come and never sorry to see him go.”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    603 likes

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  • #18
    Dorothy Parker
    “Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    585 likes

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  • #19
    Dorothy Parker
    “I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    tags: humor, men, romance
    630 likes

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  • #20
    Dorothy Parker
    “That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.”
    ― Dorothy Parker, While Rome Burns
    625 likes

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  • #21
    Dorothy Parker
    “If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    423 likes

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  • #22
    Dorothy Parker
    “The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    tags: empty-nest, humor, motherhood, parenthood, parenting
    402 likes

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  • #23
    Dorothy Parker
    “It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.”
    ― Dorothy Parker, You Might As Well Live: The Life and Times of Dorothy Parker
    tags: abortion, inspirational
    378 likes

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  • #24
    Dorothy Parker
    “Time doth flit; oh shit.”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    330 likes

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  • #25
    Dorothy Parker
    “I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    tags: humor
    349 likes

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  • #26
    If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor
    “If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    tags: achievement, authors, elements-of-style, favors, grammar, happiness, writing, writing-process
    527 likes

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  • #27
    Dorothy Parker
    “I had been fed, in my youth, a lot of old wives' tales about the way men would instantly forsake a beautiful woman to flock around a brilliant one. It is but fair to say that, after getting out in the world, I had never seen this happen."

    [From a column dated November 17, 1928]”
    ― Dorothy Parker, Constant Reader: 2
    269 likes

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  • #28
    Dorothy Parker
    “A hangover is the wrath of grapes.”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    tags: humour
    358 likes

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  • #29
    Dorothy Parker
    “So, you're the man who can't spell 'fuck.'"
    Dorothy Parker to Norman Mailer after publishers had convinced Mailer to replace the word with a euphemism, 'fug,' in his 1948 book, "The Naked and the Dead.”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    tags: bad-reviews
    268 likes

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  • #30
    Dorothy Parker
    “Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    tags: humor
    226 likes



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humor
humorous-quotes
bad-reviews
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