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  • #1
    Dave Eggers
    “Still though, I think if you're not self-obsessed, you're probably boring.”
    ― Dave Eggers
    232 likes

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  • #2
    David Sedaris
    “Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.”
    ― David Sedaris
    tags: humor, perception, retardation
    1414 likes

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  • #3
    Dorothy Parker
    “What fresh hell is this?”
    ― Dorothy Parker, The Portable Dorothy Parker
    1036 likes

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  • #4
    Dorothy Parker
    “They sicken of the calm who know the storm.”
    ― Dorothy Parker, Sunset Gun: Poems
    tags: calm, excitement, storm, women
    889 likes

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  • #5
    Dorothy Parker
    “That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    tags: epitaph, humor, the-new-yorker
    852 likes

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  • #6
    Dorothy Parker
    “I hate writing, I love having written.”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    tags: writing, writing-process
    1545 likes

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  • #7
    Dorothy Parker
    “Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    442 likes

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  • #8
    Dorothy Parker
    “So, you're the man who can't spell 'fuck.'"
    Dorothy Parker to Norman Mailer after publishers had convinced Mailer to replace the word with a euphemism, 'fug,' in his 1948 book, "The Naked and the Dead.”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    tags: bad-reviews
    269 likes

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  • #9
    Dorothy Parker
    “Drink and dance and laugh and lie,
    Love, the reeling midnight through,
    For tomorrow we shall die!
    (But, alas, we never do.)”
    ― Dorothy Parker, Death and Taxes
    tags: the-flaw-in-paganism
    321 likes

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  • #10
    Dorothy Parker
    “Three be the things I shall never attain:
    Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.”
    ― Dorothy Parker, The Portable Dorothy Parker
    tags: humor
    216 likes

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  • #11
    Dorothy Parker
    “This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it."

    [Women Know Everything!]”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    tags: bad-reviews, fancy, raisins, terrible, wordplay
    743 likes

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  • #12
    Dorothy Parker
    “The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'check enclosed.”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    tags: humor, money
    147 likes

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  • #13
    Dorothy Parker
    “Tell him I was too fucking busy-- or vice versa.”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    tags: wordplay
    1263 likes

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  • #14
    Dorothy Parker
    “Yet, as only New Yorkers know, if you can get through the twilight, you'll live through the night.”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    tags: esquire, new-york-city, survival, twilight
    192 likes

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  • #15
    Dorothy Parker
    “If you're going to write, don't pretend to write down. It's going to be the best you can do, and it's the fact that it's the best you can do that kills you.”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    67 likes

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  • #16
    Dorothy Parker
    “It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.”
    ― Dorothy Parker, You Might As Well Live: The Life and Times of Dorothy Parker
    tags: abortion, inspirational
    380 likes

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  • #17
    Dorothy Parker
    “If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    425 likes

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  • #18
    Dorothy Parker
    “Now, look, baby, 'Union' is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    65 likes

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  • #19
    Dorothy Parker
    “Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded
    wheelchair.”
    ― Dorothy Parker
    tags: health, money
    259 likes

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  • #20
    David Sedaris
    “Shit is the tofu of cursing and can be molded to whichever condition the speaker desires. Hot as shit. Windy as shit. I myself was confounded as shit...”
    ― David Sedaris
    tags: profanity, shit, swearing, tofu
    389 likes

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  • #21
    David Sedaris
    “All of us take pride and pleasure in the fact that we are unique, but I'm afraid that when all is said and done the police are right: it all comes down to fingerprints.”
    ― David Sedaris, Holidays on Ice
    tags: identity, individuality
    390 likes

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  • #22
    David Sedaris
    “If you read someone else's diary, you get what you deserve.”
    ― David Sedaris
    tags: diaries, journals, justice, privacy
    492 likes

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  • #23
    David Sedaris
    “Hugh and I have been together for so long that in order to arouse extraordinary passion, we need to engage in physical combat. Once, he hit me on the back of the head with a broken wineglass, and I fell to the floor pretending to be unconscious. That was romantic, or would have been had he rushed to my side rather than stepping over my body to fetch the dustpan.”
    ― David Sedaris, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim
    tags: fighting, relationships, romance, sex
    435 likes

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  • #24
    David Sedaris
    “On Undecided Voter​s: "To put them in perspective, I think​ of being​ on an airplane.​ The flight attendant comes​ down the aisle​ with her food cart and, eventually,​ parks​ it beside my seat.​ “Can I inter​est you in the chick​en?​” she asks.​ “Or would​ you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broke​n glass​ in it?”

    To be undecided in this elect​ion is to pause​ for a moment and then ask how the chick​en is cooked.”
    ― David Sedaris
    tags: obama, politics, undecided, vote, voters
    343 likes

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  • #25
    David Sedaris
    “If you aren't cute, you may as well be clever.”
    ― David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day
    tags: humor
    659 likes

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  • #26
    David Sedaris
    “I'm the most important person in the lives of almost everyone I know and a good number of the people I've never even met.”
    ― David Sedaris
    212 likes

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  • #27
    David Sedaris
    “It's just a penis, right? Probably no worse for you than smoking.”
    ― David Sedaris, When You Are Engulfed in Flames
    tags: oral-sex
    196 likes

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  • #28
    David Sedaris
    “I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, "I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer.”
    ― David Sedaris
    tags: animals, deer, possessions
    110 likes

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  • #29
    David Sedaris
    “Speed eliminates all doubt. Am I smart enough? Will people like me? Do I really look all right in this plastic jumpsuit?”
    ― David Sedaris
    tags: fashion, humor, self-doubt, self-worth
    149 likes

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  • #30
    David Sedaris
    “Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it's just an illusion, that people are going to bring their own stuff into it.”
    ― David Sedaris
    tags: on-writing
    123 likes



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Tags From Enna’s Quotes

humor
perception
retardation
calm
excitement
storm
women
epitaph
the-new-yorker
writing
writing-process
bad-reviews
the-flaw-in-paganism
fancy
raisins
terrible
wordplay
money
esquire
new-york-city
survival
twilight
abortion
inspirational
health
profanity
shit
swearing
tofu
identity
individuality
diaries
journals
justice
privacy
fighting
relationships
romance
sex
obama
politics
undecided
vote
voters
oral-sex
animals
deer
possessions
fashion
self-doubt
self-worth
on-writing