Phil > Phil's Quotes

Showing 1-20 of 20
sort by

  • #1
    “Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”
    Anthony G. Oettinger

  • #2
    Groucho Marx
    “If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.”
    Groucho Marx

  • #3
    Groucho Marx
    “Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while”
    Groucho Marx

  • #4
    Maurice Switzer
    “It is better to remain silent at the risk of being thought a fool, than to talk and remove all doubt of it.”
    Maurice Switzer, Mrs. Goose, Her Book

  • #5
    Oscar Wilde
    “I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
    Oscar Wilde, The Happy Prince and Other Stories

  • #6
    Mark Twain
    “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).”
    Mark Twain

  • #7
    Steve  Martin
    “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
    Steve Martin

  • #8
    Steve  Martin
    “I saw the movie, 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' and was surprised because I didn't see any tigers or dragons. And then I realized why: they're crouching and hidden.”
    Steve Martin

  • #9
    Robert Anton Wilson
    “belief is the death of intelligence.”
    Robert Anton Wilson, Cosmic Trigger: Die letzten Geheimnisse der Illuminaten oder An den Grenzen des erweiterten Bewusstseins

  • #10
    Spike Milligan
    “Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.”
    Spike Milligan

  • #11
    Steven Wright
    “Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?”
    Steven Wright

  • #12
    Steven Wright
    “If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?”
    Steven Wright

  • #13
    Douglas Adams
    “The story so far:
    In the beginning the Universe was created.
    This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
    Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

  • #14
    Oscar Wilde
    “I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.”
    Oscar Wilde

  • #15
    George Carlin
    “The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”
    George Carlin

  • #16
    George Carlin
    “Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.”
    George Carlin

  • #17
    George Carlin
    “If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?”
    George Carlin

  • #18
    George Carlin
    “Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward. ”
    George Carlin, George Carlin Reads to You: An Audio Collection Including Recent Grammy Winners Braindroppings and Napalm & Silly Putty

  • #19
    George Carlin
    “It was my uncle who taught me about the birds and the bees. He sat me down one day and said, 'Remember this, George, the birds fuck the bees.' Then he told me he once banged a girl so hard her freckles came off.”
    George Carlin, Brain Droppings

  • #20
    Dylan Moran
    “Its not easy being a man you know. I had to get dressed today… and there are other pressures.”
    Dylan Moran



Rss