Lu > Lu's Quotes

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  • #1
    Derek Landy
    “Being a detective isn't all about torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant...The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives.”
    ― Derek Landy
    tags: family, humor
    667 likes

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  • #2
    Terry Pratchett
    “Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
    tags: humor
    10166 likes

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  • #3
    Oscar Levant
    “There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”
    ― Oscar Levant
    tags: genius, humor, insanity
    9902 likes

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  • #4
    Thomas Szasz
    “Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.”
    ― Thomas Szasz
    tags: humor, inspirational
    9769 likes

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  • #5
    Jerome K. Jerome
    “I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”
    ― Jerome K. Jerome
    tags: humor, work
    8143 likes

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  • #6
    Oscar Wilde
    “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
    ― Oscar Wilde
    tags: attributed-no-source, enemies, forgiveness, strategy
    81873 likes

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  • #7
    Oscar Wilde
    “I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.”
    ― Oscar Wilde
    tags: creation, god, humor, man
    6380 likes

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  • #8
    Orson Welles
    “Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch.”
    ― Orson Welles
    3064 likes

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  • #9
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
    148504 likes

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  • #10
    Douglas Adams
    “The story so far:
    In the beginning the Universe was created.
    This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
    tags: humor, scifi
    23464 likes

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  • #11
    Ambrose Bierce
    “The covers of this book are too far apart.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce
    tags: attributed-no-source, books, criticism, humor, wit
    1598 likes

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  • #12
    Jim Henson
    “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
    ― Jim Henson
    26436 likes

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  • #13
    W.C. Fields
    “I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
    ― W.C. Fields
    18672 likes

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  • #14
    Charles Lamb
    “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
    ― Charles Lamb
    2824 likes

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  • #15
    Oscar Wilde
    “To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.”
    ― Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest
    tags: children, humor, paraphrased, parents
    2150 likes

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  • #16
    Rudyard Kipling
    “I never made a mistake in my life; at least, never one that I couldn't explain away afterwards.”
    ― Rudyard Kipling, Under The Deodars
    tags: humor, justification, mistakes, pretexts
    699 likes

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  • #17
    Charles J. Sykes
    “Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.”
    ― Charles J. Sykes, Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write or Add
    tags: humor, misattributed-to-bill-gates, nerd, nerds, work
    15548 likes

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  • #18
    Tad Williams
    “As for monkeys, I would have five, and they would be named: See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil, Do Pretty Much Whatever The Hell You Want, and Expensive Attorney.”
    ― Tad Williams
    tags: humor
    439 likes

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  • #19
    Douglas Adams
    “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time
    tags: deadlines, humor, humour, work, writing
    32147 likes

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  • #20
    Groucho Marx
    “One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: humor
    1098 likes

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  • #21
    Groucho Marx
    “Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    319 likes

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  • #22
    Robin Williams
    “Reality is just a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.”
    ― Robin Williams
    831 likes

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  • #23
    I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control
    “I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
    ― Marilyn Monroe
    tags: attributed-no-source, best, life, love, misattributed-marilyn-monroe, mistakes, out-of-control, truth, worst
    165324 likes

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  • #24
    Mahatma Gandhi
    “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
    ― Mahatma Gandhi
    tags: action, change, inspirational, misattributed-to-gandhi, philosophy, wish
    114442 likes

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  • #25
    “Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
    ― Narcotics Anonymous
    tags: humor, insanity, life, misattributed-ben-franklin, misattributed-mark-twain, misattributed-to-einstein
    64690 likes

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  • #26
    Albert Camus
    “Don’t walk in front of me… I may not follow
    Don’t walk behind me… I may not lead
    Walk beside me… just be my friend”
    ― Albert Camus
    tags: attributed-no-source, friends, friendship, misattributed-albert-camus
    93604 likes

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  • #27
    Mark Twain
    “If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: lies, lying, memory, truth
    92278 likes

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  • #28
    H. Jackson Brown Jr.
    “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
    ― H. Jackson Brown Jr., P.S. I Love You
    tags: actions, disappointed, disappointment, dream, dreams, explore, misattributed-mark-twain, sail
    60299 likes

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  • #29
    Mahatma Gandhi
    “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”
    ― Mahatma Gandhi
    tags: carpe-diem, education, inspirational, learning
    77800 likes

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  • #30
    Friendship ... is born at the moment when one man says to another What! You
    “Friendship ... is born at the moment when one man says to another "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .”
    ― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
    tags: friendship
    88134 likes



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family
humor
genius
insanity
inspirational
work
attributed-no-source
enemies
forgiveness
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creation
god
man
human-nature
infinity
philosophy
science
stupidity
universe
scifi
books
criticism
wit
children
paraphrased
parents
justification
mistakes
pretexts
misattributed-to-bill-gates
nerd
nerds
deadlines
humour
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life
love
misattributed-marilyn-monroe
out-of-control
truth
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action
change
misattributed-to-gandhi
wish
misattributed-ben-franklin
misattributed-mark-twain
misattributed-to-einstein
friends
friendship
misattributed-albert-camus
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lying
memory
actions
disappointed
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dream
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explore
sail
carpe-diem
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