E.S. Fein > E.S.'s Quotes

“I don't think there is inherent meaning to life but the one that you decide to make for yourself. In that sense, I have decided my meaning of life is to have a positive contribution to humanity, to be a good friend and partner and to try to become a better person over time.”
― Philipp Dettmer

“your immune system is also not a singular thing. It is a complex and interconnected collection of hundreds of bases and recruitment centers all over your body.”
― Philipp Dettmer, Immune: The bestselling book from YouTube's KURZGESAGT IN A NUTSHELL

“It would be very hard for you to live a happy life if you were covered in wiggling, buzzing tiny crabs that you could never get rid of.”
― Philipp Dettmer, Immune: A Journey Into the Mysterious System That Keeps You Alive

“To see the awful things is to see life as it really is. It makes you sharper, stronger, superior. You can stand it when others cannot.”
― Greg Bear, Quantico

“When all hopes are lost, only then does reality acquire that sharp focus that defines who we are and what we have become.”
― Greg Bear, Halo: Primordium

“We live in capitalism. Its power seems inescapable. So did the divine right of kings. Any human power can be resisted and changed by human beings. Resistance and change often begin in art, and very often in our art, the art of words.”
― Ursula K. Le Guin

“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”
― Jim Morrison

“Everything in the world was my Guru.”
― Ramana Maharshi

“Ego-death is the loss of all anchoring to self,” May said, and as she took another hit of the bowl, she looked as though she were coming to some impossible realization. She spoke as if on autopilot while the rest of her seemed to contemplate the fringes of some great madness that had just clicked in her mind. “During ego-death, there is no more separation between the atoms composing the countless eukaryotic and prokaryotic cells of your body or the atoms composing the air exhausted by the eukaryotic bundles we call plants. There is just the field – the system itself. There is no more you. It’s...it’s not really possible to relate through language because it’s beyond language,” she said with a hint of sorrow, and as she turned to Matt, he noted that her eyes looked distant and afraid suddenly. “I’m sorry if this isn’t making sense,” she finished.”
― E.S. Fein, A Dream of Waking Life

“Dr. Heron grinned sinisterly and chuckled beneath his breath. “Why would a dream character need a therapist?” he laughed openly. “What a ridiculous notion.”

Matt shook his head instinctually, readying himself for the deluge of insanity. But now Dr. Heron was finally agreeing with him.

“Death,” Dr. Heron offered simply, “you know that’s the answer. That’s the only way to know with total certainty. But if you’re wrong...well...there’s no coming back from that mistake, is there?”

“You’re telling me to kill myself?” Matt seethed at this man who was supposed to be looking after him.”
― E.S. Fein, A Dream of Waking Life

“Now Kito saw it. The mass wasn’t homogenous at all; it was composed of endless cells, each remarkably similar to the mosquitoes of the old world. The mass of mosquitoes reared up, readying to strike the men and consume them whole. The mass lashed finally, but it didn’t go for the men. It was heading toward the other three, maybe for an easy meal.

The mass grew in density, then pinched itself off, part of it continuing toward their dead crewmates, the other part of it remaining inside the room with the men.

“Kito-kun!”

Kito didn’t hear her in his head this time; her voice had been real.

“Maggie?!” Hemmler gasped. “I…I hear you, baby! I hear you!”

The mass. Kito concluded that it was tailoring and changing itself to the specifics of each man’s mind. Kito heard it as Yui, and Hemmler heard Maggie. Was it already inside their heads?

“Kito-kun!”

Kito tried to hear her voice come from inside him, but the Yui in his memories was silent. There was only the voice coming from outside his own head–coming from the mosquito mass.

“Kito-kun!”

“Yes, Maggie! I’m here, baby! I’m here!” Hemmler shouted, a maniacal smile smeared across his face.

The mass began taking shape, molding into something coherent. It grew limbs, a head, fingers and toes. It grew skin and body hair. Its formless face became eyes and nose and forehead and smile.

Yui looked upon Kito Tanaka with giddy delight–a perfect reproduction down to the slight slant at the corner of her mouth.

“It’s me, Kito-kun…” Yui breathed.

Her naked body seemed like the only real thing in all the universe.”
― E.S. Fein, Ascendescenscion

“Back to the original reality we left somehow?” Amero said, hoping Yang really would leave him in this moment. Every second spent wasted talking about the Points and the damn machines was time he could be lapping up sunlight. But Amero admitted to himself that it was worse than just a mere loss of time; talking about such matters felt like the grating of steel on steel repeatedly echoing in the unreachable depths of his mind.

“We never left the original reality, Amero. We changed it. We reshaped our reality like a potter heating and reshaping a previously completed clay vase. I go now to the world outside the clay vase...to the world of the very intentions which guide the potter’s hands.”

Amero thought of Dave suddenly. “Outside the universe?”
― E.S. Fein, Points of Origin

“You are wicked," the man told the sky, offering it his flesh. To the sand his bones. To the desert his heart.

The woman ran as fast she could, but it made no difference. She screamed, and her pleading cries of agony reminded the man of the old world of creatures and beasts and beauty, the world he had ruined.

Now the Southern skies were cascading North, clashing with the northern winds like oceanic tidal waves meeting head on. There was nowhere left to run.”
― E.S. Fein, The Process is Love

“Fatherfucker!” Myriam roared at the beast.”
― E.S. Fein, Mendel's Ladder

“Myriam gritted her teeth and extinguished every one of her thoughts except one: glory. She roared with the fury of every woman who had ever been scorned by the world of man, and even though she wanted nothing more than to hold her wife, she forced her mind to stoically accept the present moment and filled herself with fearless rage.

“Come, Hunter! Come and taste my blades and know that you are not the most terrifying monster on Earth. I am!” Myriam screamed, her rasping voice a trophy proving that Hunters had every right to fear her.”
― E.S. Fein, Mendel's Ladder

“This is the way of humanity. It has always been this way. A cycle of golden age, recession, depression, revolution, expansion, and eventually another golden age before it all falls apart again. Ad infinitum.

In every human there is a want for more. A need for more. It is exactly that drive for more that allowed our species to crawl out of the primordial wilds. And it is exactly that want and need that drives me to ascension.

Were Astrea intended to last forever, it too would undergo the natural cycle of societal creation and destruction and would eventually fall to ruin, just as every human society of the past was eventually crippled and destroyed by humanity’s inherent failures.

But Astrea is a temporary refuge. A transient bastion that serves to buy me just enough time.

Time enough to break the cycle forever.”
― E.S. Fein, Mendel's Ladder

“Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value life more.”
― Virginia Woolf

“As was the Wintersvilla Warrior custom during times of relaxation, Myriam walked toward Shira fully nude, her large, unbound breasts bouncing freely with each of her steps, though Shira was in no shape for even scant arousal. It wasn’t seduction or sexuality that created the custom, but rather, a sign of a true warrior who had nothing to fear and could relax in her bare skin and ports without worrying about lacking in safety, let alone being concerned with trivialities like modesty. It was by this same logic that Wintersvilla Women did battle wearing nothing more than a thin chest-binder to stabilize their breasts, a light undergarment to avoid dirt or grime in their genitals, and a personal sidearm sheath and straps that were more like permanent fixtures of a warrior’s body. The rest of their body remained gloriously and pleasantly exposed. It was said by the greatest Wintersvilla Women, including Shira when she was younger, that anyone unable to sync thoroughly enough with their exo so that it didn’t protect them from every projectile or peril of the Earth was a liability, not an asset. A warrior’s bare and often deeply scarred skin was visible proof of her internal control of fear.”
― E.S. Fein, Mendel's Ladder