Dan > Dan's Quotes

“I blame it on Twilight. In real life, vampires only sparkle when they're on fire.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“Nikolai's a badass Russian. Badass Russians only have three emotions: revenge, depression, and vodka.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Alpha

“Fish and Wildlife wants to fine us for killing a giant mutant Tennessee River catfish because it was endangered. Sure it had just crawled up on land and eaten some teenagers, but it was still an endangered species.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter International

“I've got a chainsaw with my name on it in my workshop," Milo told us happily. "If I'm ever killed by undead, I want you guys to chop me up with it. It's a good chainsaw."
"I reckon it is, Milo. I would be honored to chop your head off," Sam said.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter International

“You know that ‘no weapons at work’ policy?” I asked the twitching and growing hairy monstrosity standing less than ten feet from me. His yellow eyes bored into me with raw animal hatred. There was nothing recognizably human in that look.

“I never did like that rule,” I said as I bent down and drew my gun from my ankle holster, put the front sight on the target and rapidly fired all five shots from my snub-nosed .357 Smith & Wesson into Mr. Huffman’s body. God bless Texas.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter International

“So did you score with your friend's dead mom ?”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter International

“I think that the law isn’t about words on paper. It’s about doing what’s right,”
― Larry Correia, Spellbound

“Why can’t we ever fight cute, helpless monsters? Like the ones on Sesame Street?”
― Larry Correia, The Monster Hunters

“The sight of so many guns, mostly deer rifles and duck guns but with a smattering of black rifles and riot shotguns, made him glad that this was going down in a rural area where people still had their heads screwed on right about personal defense.”
― Larry Correia, The Monster Hunters

“An hour ago Franks had been swatted across the Strip by a dragon made of ectoplasm and nightmares. Bureaucratic plotting seemed inconsequential in comparison.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Nemesis

“He tried to choke me with the seat belt, so I elbowed him in the face until he stopped moving. It took three good blows to his noggin to put him out. I’ll admit, I enjoyed that part.”
― Larry Correia, The Monster Hunters

“I’d tell you to be careful, but I know you’ve got eyes in the back of your head.” “Tried that once. Too disorienting.” “You’re a very literal man, Franks. . . .”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Nemesis

“People think that the South is racist, and it was, and some parts still are, but for the most part, we've dealt with our history. The biggest racists I've ever met aren't here, they're in politics, and they are smug bastards. They're the ones that are quick to play the race card, the ones that pimp poverty. Those are the real bigots.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter International

“Julie was still talking. “No. No, sir. Do not, I repeat, do not approach them. . . . Why?” She rolled her eyes as the person on the other end of the line asked something incredibly stupid. “Because they will eat you. . . . Yes. Eat you.” She paused to cover the phone’s receiver and said to me, “What is it with these people who want to reason with monsters? Morons.” “I blame it on Twilight.” In real life, vampires only sparkle when they’re on fire.”
― Larry Correia, The Monster Hunters

“If you expect to survive, you must keep your wits about you. You must keep your firearms clean, your knives sharp, and—if you are lucky enough to have it—your magic ready, but no amount of Power or equipment or fancy kit will make up for a lack of brains and guts. When danger looms, don’t hesitate, commit.”
― Larry Correia, Warbound

“You misunderstand the point of a symbol of faith then." He walked towards the vampires. "You're abominations, of course it doesn't matter to you. What matters is how much it means to me.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Nemesis

“Evil can kill you, break your body, and sometimes it can even break your mind, but only you can break your spirit.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Legion