Monster Hunter Vendetta Quotes

“I blame it on Twilight. In real life, vampires only sparkle when they're on fire.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“Their patch was a molecule with fangs under the words exite! chemicus sum! Which was Latin for, Back off, man! I'm a scientist!”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“When monsters have nightmares, they're dreaming about us." —MHI Company Handbook”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“When you're getting chased by a zombie bear, I guess you don't need to be faster than the bear, just faster than your friends. I briefly contemplated shooting Grant in the leg.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“I didn't even know what color lavender was. I think most men would consider it light blue, or something.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“Franks mulled it over, probably weighing the pros and cons of endangering his charge versus being able to go kill something. The decision didn't take long. "I'll drive.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“No. No, sir. Do not, I repeat, do not approach them.… Why?" She rolled her eyes as the person on the other end of the line asked something incredibly stupid. "Because they will eat you.… Yes. Eat you." She paused to cover the phone's receiver and said to me, "What is it with these people who want to reason with monsters? Morons." "I blame it on Twilight." In real life, vampires only sparkle when they're on fire.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“That's our job. We're supposed to protect and defend the taxpayers." He smiled, and in the dark I wasn't sure if the government man or Susan had been more intimidating, but for totally different reasons. One because it represented a soulless entity with the power to suck the very blood from the innocent, and the other because it was a vampire.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“Chupacabras do not normally attack people.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“If we lived through this, I was going to find out why Grant had turned snitch and then I was going to beat him to death.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“I wasn't sure if the government man or Susan had been more intimidating, but for totally different reasons. One because it represented a soulless entity with the power to suck the very blood from the innocent, and the other because it was a vampire.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“I blame it on Twilight." In real life, vampires only sparkle when they're on fire.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“I managed to mostly keep everything up to date between missions. Before I'd come on it had been a real mess. Apparently killing and math were mutually exclusive skill sets for most people, but I'd gotten the books cleaned up.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“Yes, I own twenty of these around the world, as well as several dedicated crematoriums and livestock-rendering factories. It gives me plenty of raw materials. Art supplies, if you will.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“Owen, we've got to talk," Mosh said as he painfully ground the bus into a higher gear. He turned and looked at me. "Okay, what the hell were those things? What are you doing playing commando? You're an accountant! And these weirdos keep bowing and calling me War Chief." He waved his hand at the orcs. All three bowed simultaneously. "See? See!”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“Orc. They're distantly related to humans. Most of them never speak. They always wear masks, but even then they're painfully awkward. Each one has some sort of gift that they're magically good at. Gretchen is a healer. Skippy is the best pilot in the world." Mosh was nodding thoughtfully in the dark. "So that explains the Stig.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“When you're getting chased by a zombie bear, I guess you don't need to be faster than the bear, just faster than your friends.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“Having the strength and the knowledge to survive anything the world throws at you isn't supposed to be fun. But it makes you a man. So”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“That made no sense to the demon. The fallen had no duty, no allegiance. They were damned for eternity, regardless. They had nothing to lose, no stake in this”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“An attack on us was one thing, but the orcs? There were children there.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“Your edge, it is not an act. There are two sides to you, human. Burning hot or freezing cold and somewhere in the middle innocence dies. Delicious.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“Leave it to Trip Jones to resort to reason when I was all ready to get my violence on.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“Apparently "combat ineffective" meant that most of them had just gotten dismembered.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“Dad, listen carefully. Hang tight, cops are on the way. You've got more guns, right?" I asked. He grunted, almost like that was insulting. "Okay, good. Grab some big stuff, just in case.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“Oh, she is pretty. She was like Miss Houston or something. Pity, I have to murder her now.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“Herzog, who were you with before being recruited by the Monster Control Bureau?" "Internal Revenue Service." God help us. "Oh… well… okay then." That made sense. I had a sneaking suspicion that she had once audited my old job. Somebody from the IRS had actually taken the time to draw frowny faces in red ink on a depreciation schedule that I had filled out. She seemed like the type.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“See, when MHI was fighting Lord Machado's minions, we decided to play it safe… So we… kind of… dropped a nuke on the area." "You did what?" Julie shouted. "You tried to nuke Alabama?" "Only a little one. It was for the best," he said defensively.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“I blame it on Twilight." In real life, vampires only sparkle when they're on fire.”
― Baen Books, Monster Hunter Vendetta