Kit > Kit's Quotes

“Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.”
― Billy Sunday, "Billy" Sunday, the man and his message: with his own words which have won thousands for Christ

“Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
― Mark Twain

“The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”
― Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
― Jim Henson

“I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
― Woody Allen

“The difference between genius and stupidity is: genius has its limits.”
― Alexandre Dumas-fils

“Reality continues to ruin my life.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”
― Charles Bukowski

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”
― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?”
― Chris Rock

“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”
― Phyllis Diller

“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
― Mark Twain

“A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.”
― Bill Cosby

“I find out a lot about myself by sleeping. Dreams, they are who I am when I’m too tired to be me.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they'd lock us up?"
All the time.”
― Wendy Mass, Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life

“I thought I'd lie on the floor and writhe in pain for a while," he grunted, "It relaxes me."
"It does? Oh - you're being sarcastic. That's a good sign probably.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

“Do you want a cookie?
- What?
- A cookie. Like an Oreo. Do you want one?
- No.
- How can you not want a cookie?
- I just don't.
- Okay, fine,let's say you did want a cookie. Let's say you were dying for a cookie, and there were cookies in the cupboard. What would you do?
- I'd eat a cookie?
- Exactly. That's all I'm saying.
- What are you saying?
- That if people want cookies, they should get a cookie. It's what people do.
- Let me guess. Dad won't let you have a
cookie?
- No. Even though I'm practically starving to death, he won't even consider it. He says I have to have a sandwich first.
- And you don't think that's fair.
- You just said you'd get a cookie if you wanted one. So why can't I? I'm not a little kid. I can make my own decisions.
- Hmm. I can see why this bothers you so
much.
- It's not fair. If he wants a cookie, he can have one. If you want a cookie,
you can have one. But if I want a cookie, the rules don't count. Like you
said, it's not fair.
- So what are you going to do?
- I'm going to eat a sandwich. Because I have to. Because the world isn't fair
to ten-year-olds.”
― Nicholas Sparks, The Last Song

“Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.”
― Robert Benchley

“I don't hate you.. I just don't like that you exist”
― Gena Showalter, Seduce the Darkness

“I’ve been fighting to be who I am all my life. What’s the point of being who I am, if I can’t have the person who was worth all the fighting for?”
― Stephanie Lennox, I Don't Remember You

“You should eat a waffle! You can't be sad if you eat a waffle!”
― Lauren Myracle, ttfn

“Why it's simply impassible!
Alice: Why, don't you mean impossible?
Door: No, I do mean impassible. (chuckles) Nothing's impossible!”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland / Through the Looking-Glass

“Can you be a girl for a few seconds?"
"I'm always a girl" I frown.
"You know what I mean. Like a silly, annoying girl"
I twirl my hair around my finger. "Kay.”
― Veronica Roth, Divergent

“If I told you I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at, I’d be lying, because I have no idea where I am right now.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale