Andre > Andre's Quotes

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  • #1
    Henry Ward Beecher
    “Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?”
    ― Henry Ward Beecherr
    tags: books, humor
    7421 likes

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  • #2
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
    148483 likes

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  • #3
    “Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
    ― Narcotics Anonymous
    tags: humor, insanity, life, misattributed-ben-franklin, misattributed-mark-twain, misattributed-to-einstein
    64669 likes

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  • #4
    Mae West
    “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
    ― Mae West
    tags: humor, life
    119123 likes

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  • #5
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
    ― Paul Terry
    tags: exercise, humor, laziness, misattributed-to-hutchins
    24390 likes

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  • #6
    Mark Twain
    “Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
    ― Mark Twain
    34465 likes

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  • #7
    Douglas Adams
    “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time
    tags: deadlines, humor, humour, work, writing
    32149 likes

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  • #8
    Jim Henson
    “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
    ― Jim Henson
    26434 likes

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  • #9
    Charles J. Sykes
    “Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.”
    ― Charles J. Sykes, Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write or Add
    tags: humor, misattributed-to-bill-gates, nerd, nerds, work
    15553 likes

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  • #10
    Mark Twain
    “Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: books, contentment, friends, friendship, life
    47059 likes

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  • #11
    Terry Pratchett
    “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Diggers
    tags: humor, open-mind, thinking
    21433 likes

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  • #12
    I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!
    “I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!”
    ― Charles M. Schulz
    tags: humor, mankind, people
    18546 likes

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  • #13
    Groucho Marx
    “I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: books, humor, reading, television
    23093 likes

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  • #14
    Woody Allen
    “I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
    ― Woody Allen
    tags: death, fear, humor, life
    25652 likes

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  • #15
    Bill Watterson
    “Reality continues to ruin my life.”
    ― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
    tags: calvin-and-hobbes, humor, life
    21180 likes

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  • #16
    Rita Mae Brown
    “The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you.”
    ― Rita Mae Brown
    tags: humor, insanity
    12679 likes

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  • #17
    Charles M. Schulz
    “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.”
    ― Charles M. Schulz
    tags: chocolate, food, humor
    26799 likes

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  • #18
    W.C. Fields
    “I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
    ― W.C. Fields
    18677 likes

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  • #19
    Benjamin Franklin Wade
    “Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.”
    ― Benjamin Franklin Wade
    tags: humor, misattributed-mark-twain, philosophy, theology
    19850 likes

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  • #20
    Mark Twain
    “I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: humor, knowledge
    6886 likes

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  • #21
    Mark Twain
    “Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: humor, politics
    9104 likes

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  • #22
    Oscar Levant
    “There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”
    ― Oscar Levant
    tags: genius, humor, insanity
    9904 likes

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  • #23
    Thomas Szasz
    “Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.”
    ― Thomas Szasz
    tags: humor, inspirational
    9768 likes

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  • #24
    Douglas Adams
    “I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”
    ― Douglas Adams
    tags: attributed-no-source, humor, misattributed-douglas-adams, wit
    11373 likes

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  • #25
    Woody Allen
    “I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.”
    ― Woody Allen
    tags: humor, life, sex
    6557 likes

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  • #26
    George Carlin
    “The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
    ― George Carlin
    tags: humor, insanity, lies, lying, self-indulgence, truth
    19793 likes

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  • #27
    Jerome K. Jerome
    “I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”
    ― Jerome K. Jerome
    tags: humor, work
    8143 likes

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  • #28
    Lemony Snicket
    “Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.”
    ― Lemony Snicket
    tags: fate, humor, simile
    13156 likes

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  • #29
    Stephen King
    “When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, There's just something about you that pisses me off.”
    ― Stephen King, Storm of the Century
    tags: god, humor, religion
    7980 likes

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  • #30
    Groucho Marx
    “From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: books, humor, reading
    3619 likes



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Tags From Andre’s Quotes

books
humor
attributed-no-source
human-nature
infinity
philosophy
science
stupidity
universe
insanity
life
misattributed-ben-franklin
misattributed-mark-twain
misattributed-to-einstein
exercise
laziness
misattributed-to-hutchins
deadlines
humour
work
writing
misattributed-to-bill-gates
nerd
nerds
contentment
friends
friendship
open-mind
thinking
mankind
people
reading
television
death
fear
calvin-and-hobbes
chocolate
food
theology
knowledge
politics
genius
inspirational
misattributed-douglas-adams
wit
sex
lies
lying
self-indulgence
truth
fate
simile
god
religion