Big Books of 2026

Justin > Justin's Quotes

Showing 1-30 of 48
« previous 1
sort by

    like
  • #1
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
    148358 likes

    • like
  • #2
    William W. Purkey
    “You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
    Love like you'll never be hurt,
    Sing like there's nobody listening,
    And live like it's heaven on earth.”
    ― William W. Purkey
    tags: dance, heaven, hurt, inspirational, life, love, sing
    128887 likes

    • like
  • #3
    “Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
    ― Narcotics Anonymous
    tags: humor, insanity, life, misattributed-ben-franklin, misattributed-mark-twain, misattributed-to-einstein
    64643 likes

    • like
  • #4
    Mae West
    “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
    ― Mae West
    tags: humor, life
    119047 likes

    • like
  • #5
    Douglas Adams
    “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time
    tags: deadlines, humor, humour, work, writing
    32151 likes

    • like
  • #6
    Mark Twain
    “Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
    ― Mark Twain
    34483 likes

    • like
  • #7
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
    ― Paul Terry
    tags: exercise, humor, laziness, misattributed-to-hutchins
    24403 likes

    • like
  • #8
    Billy Sunday
    “Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.”
    ― Billy Sunday, "Billy" Sunday, the man and his message: with his own words which have won thousands for Christ
    tags: automobile, car, funny, humor, religious
    8923 likes

    • like
  • #9
    Rodney Dangerfield
    “Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.”
    ― Rodney Dangerfield
    tags: crime, funny, humour
    1541 likes

    • like
  • #10
    Jon Stewart
    “I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.”
    ― Jon Stewart
    tags: canada, funny
    703 likes

    • like
  • #11
    Steve Martin
    “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
    ― Steve Martin
    tags: humor, obvious, simile
    35271 likes

    • like
  • #12
    Woody Allen
    “I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.”
    ― Woody Allen
    tags: humor, life, sex
    6559 likes

    • like
  • #13
    Bernard M. Baruch
    “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”
    ― Bernard M. Baruch
    tags: ataraxy, be-yourself, confidence, fitting-in, individuality, misattributed-dr-seuss, those-who-matter
    130119 likes

    • like
  • #14
    Mark Twain
    “I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: classic-insult, funeral, funny, humor
    7632 likes

    • like
  • #15
    Mark Twain
    “You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, burning bushes, food falling from the sky, people walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and primitive stories, and you say that we are the ones that need help?”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: books-bible
    2554 likes

    • like
  • #16
    Steve Martin
    “I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.”
    ― steve martin
    917 likes

    • like
  • #17
    Woody Allen
    “It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.”
    ― Woody Allen
    tags: absurd
    931 likes

    • like
  • #18
    Woody Allen
    “Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.”
    ― Woody Allen
    1557 likes

    • like
  • #19
    Woody Allen
    “The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.”
    ― Woody Allen
    2360 likes

    • like
  • #20
    Woody Allen
    “A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men.
    I have the strength of one small boy... with polio.”
    ― Woody Allen
    tags: absurd
    152 likes

    • like
  • #21
    Rodney Dangerfield
    “I say 'no' to drugs. Whenever someone asks me for some of my drugs, I say ‘no.”
    ― Rodney Dangerfield
    167 likes

    • like
  • #22
    Mark Twain
    “A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: misattributed-mark-twain, truth
    16288 likes

    • like
  • #23
    Mark Twain
    “Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: truth
    16212 likes

    • like
  • #24
    Albert Einstein
    “I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: 1929, viereck-interview
    37573 likes

    • like
  • #25
    Robin Williams
    “See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”
    ― Robin Williams
    tags: humor, men
    2384 likes

    • like
  • #26
    Mike Rowe
    “I'm allergic to rocks hitting me in the face.”
    ― Mike Rowe
    tags: allergies, humor, rocks
    32 likes

    • like
  • #27
    Matt Groening
    “Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.”
    ― Matt Groening, The Big Book of Hell
    tags: humor, love, metaphor, simpsons
    421 likes

    • like
  • #28
    Steven Wright
    “Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.”
    ― Steven Wright
    tags: humor, perspective, walking
    479 likes

    • like
  • #29
    “You know, when you're a fat guy you don't need a reason to sweat. Guys come up to me and go "Jeez... what have you been doing - jumping rope in the attic or something?"..."Umm, no... I peeled an orange about an hour ago, why?”
    ― Kevin James
    6 likes

    • like
  • #30
    “How big are muffins going to get before we all join hands across America? Have you seen them? They're huge. "Yeah, I'll take a coffee and... Oh, my God! Yeah, I'll have the beanbag chair with raisins.”
    ― Kevin James
    10 likes



Rss
« previous 1
All Quotes



Tags From Justin’s Quotes

attributed-no-source
human-nature
humor
infinity
philosophy
science
stupidity
universe
dance
heaven
hurt
inspirational
life
love
sing
insanity
misattributed-ben-franklin
misattributed-mark-twain
misattributed-to-einstein
deadlines
humour
work
writing
exercise
laziness
misattributed-to-hutchins
automobile
car
funny
religious
crime
canada
obvious
simile
sex
ataraxy
be-yourself
confidence
fitting-in
individuality
misattributed-dr-seuss
those-who-matter
classic-insult
funeral
books-bible
absurd
truth
1929
viereck-interview
men
allergies
rocks
metaphor
simpsons
perspective
walking