Elden > Elden's Quotes

“You’re only a first year!” Tina cried. “And you’re already getting death threats! Do you have any idea how lucky you are?”
― Stuart Gibbs, Spy Camp

“(There’s a rumor that World War III almost started when the computer in charge of the North American nuclear missile system misinterpreted a commander saying “I hate syrup” as “annihilate Europe.”)”
― Stuart Gibbs, Space Case

“Mickey Mouse is just a rat in suspenders.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Belly Up

“This morning’s lecture was on how to avoid ninjas, which might have been interesting if step one hadn’t been “Stay out of Japan.” Furthermore, Crandall had quickly become sidetracked,”
― Stuart Gibbs, Spy School

“Reprehensible,” Erica suggested. “Repugnant. Odious. Loathsome. Abhorrent. Subhuman”
― Stuart Gibbs, Spy School Goes South

“Crocodiles?” Murray gasped, then turned his eyes to the heavens. “What did I ever do to deserve this?” “Attempted murder, for one,” Zoe answered, then ticked more things off on her fingers. “Plus terrorism, assassination, destruction of public property, and being an all-around jerk. The question is really, what haven’t you done to deserve this?”
― Stuart Gibbs, Spy School Goes South

“This city of stone,” Dante said. “It’s probably Paititi.” “What’s Paititi?” Charlie asked. Dante reacted with surprise. “You mean there’s something you don’t know?” “I’m only twelve,” Charlie said. “I haven’t had time to learn everything yet. Like, I still haven’t figured out why you haven’t asked Milana out even though you’re obviously crushing on her.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Charlie Thorne and the Lost City

“There were rumors that at age three Erica had thwarted a trio of bank robbers with only a juice box and a Slinky.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Spy School Secret Service

“I could imagine her as a kindergartener, making a high-tech raid on the family cookie jar.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Spy Camp

“Zoe returned her attention to the map of southern Argentina on the computer. “What on earth could possibly be worth using that much nuclear power on? There’s nothing around there but mountains and sea.” “There’s guanacos,” Murray said helpfully. “What the heck’s a guanaco?” Zoe asked. “It’s a relative of the camel,” Murray explained. “It kind of looks like an anorexic llama. From what I understand, the pampas down there are full of them.” “And you think SPYDER wants to nuke them all?” Zoe said. “What good is a whole bunch of vaporized guanacos?” “Suppose they only nuked one,” Murray said ominously. “What if they focused all that nuclear energy on it? If a single irradiated iguana could turn into Godzilla, just imagine what a giant guanaco would look like. It’d be terrifying!” Zoe gave him a withering look. “The only terrifying thing about this plan is that you actually think it’s possible. Godzilla never existed!” “But maybe he could,” Murray countered. “Or worse . . . Guanacazilla!” He gave a roar that was probably supposed to be half llama, half monster, but it sounded more like an angry hamster. We all considered him for a moment. “Moving on,” Erica said. “Does anyone have a suggestion that isn’t completely idiotic?” “Ha ha,” Murray said petulantly. “You mock me now, but we’ll see who’s laughing when there’s a thirty-story guanaco running rampant through Buenos Aires.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Spy School Goes South

“At least he got to have some excitement. I never get to almost die.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Waste of Space

“That’s disgusting,” Summer said. “Why would anyone ever want to kill anything?” “You’re eating a steak!” Ethan exclaimed. “Where do you think that came from? You think the cow committed suicide?”
― Stuart Gibbs, Big Game

“It’s as though I went down to Disneyland and assassinated Mickey Mouse.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Belly Up

“The day I finished the first draft of this book, President Donald Trump informed the world that the United States would no longer be part of the Paris Accords, effectively abdicating the role of this country in fighting climate change. Therefore, I had to rewrite the scene in which Joshua Hallal discusses SPYDER’s plans to hasten the melting of Antarctica. Originally, SPYDER’s plan was to try to undo all the work the governments of the world were doing to fight climate change. Now, as you have read, he simply claims that climate change isn’t happening fast enough. As rewriting goes, that didn’t cause me too much trouble, though. But sadly, Trump’s decision may end up causing far more trouble for me, and you, and pretty much every other human being alive. The truth is, climate”
― Stuart Gibbs, Spy School Goes South

“We have gathered here today to honor Benjamin Ripley for being the first person to ever regurgitate a wombat through a flugelhorn.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Spy School Secret Service

“Edna turned out to be the type of American who mistakenly believed the way to make herself understood to the hotel staff was to speak English very loud and slow, as if that would magically turn it into Spanish. “EXCUSE ME!” she shouted at the waiter. “CAN I HAVE A DRINK?”
― Stuart Gibbs, Spy School Goes South

“MOOCH-ASS GRASSY-ASS, AMIGO!” Edna yelled.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Spy School Goes South

“Edna turned out to be the type of American who mistakenly believed the way to make herself understood to the hotel staff was to speak English very loud and slow, as if that would magically turn it into Spanish. “EXCUSE ME!” she shouted at the waiter. “CAN I HAVE A DRINK?” The waiter proffered the tray and replied in perfect English. “Of course, Mrs. Farkle.” “MOOCH-ASS GRASSY-ASS, AMIGO!” Edna yelled.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Spy School Goes South

“Dad often said that if J.J. McCracken set his money on fire, the next day, burned dollars would be worth more than gold.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Belly Up

“Nice socks.”
― Neal Shusterman, Unwind

“You see, a conflict always begins with an issue - a difference of opinion, an argument. But by the time it turns into a war, the issue doesn't matter anymore, because now it's about one thing and one thing only: how much each side hates the other.”
― Neal Shusterman, Unwind

“Hope in the shadow of fear is the world's most powerful motivator.”
― Neal Shusterman, Scythe

“Roland glares at Connor and Connor glares back. Then he says what he always says at moments like this.
"Nice socks."
Although Roland doesn't look down right away, it derails him just enough for him to back off. He doesn't check to see if his socks match until he thinks Connor isn't looking. And the moment he does, Connor snickers. Small victories are bet­ter than none.”
― Neal Shusterman, Unwind

“If you’ve ever studied mortal age cartoons, you’ll remember this one. A coyote was always plotting the demise of a smirking long-necked bird. The coyote never succeeded; instead, his plans always backfired. He would blow up, or get shot, or splat from a ridiculous height.

And it was funny.

Because no matter how deadly his failure, he was always back in the next scene, as if there were a revival center just beyond the edge of the animation cell.

I’ve seen human foibles that have resulted in temporary maiming or momentary loss of life. People stumble into manholes, are hit by falling objects, trip into the paths of speeding vehicles.

And when it happens, people laugh, because no matter how gruesome the event, that person, just like the coyote, will be back in a day or two, as good as new, and no worse—or wiser—for the wear.

Immortality has turned us all into cartoons.”
― Neal Shusterman, Scythe