Elden

“That’s disgusting,” Summer said. “Why would anyone ever want to kill anything?” “You’re eating a steak!” Ethan exclaimed. “Where do you think that came from? You think the cow committed suicide?”
― Stuart Gibbs, Big Game

“Zoe returned her attention to the map of southern Argentina on the computer. “What on earth could possibly be worth using that much nuclear power on? There’s nothing around there but mountains and sea.” “There’s guanacos,” Murray said helpfully. “What the heck’s a guanaco?” Zoe asked. “It’s a relative of the camel,” Murray explained. “It kind of looks like an anorexic llama. From what I understand, the pampas down there are full of them.” “And you think SPYDER wants to nuke them all?” Zoe said. “What good is a whole bunch of vaporized guanacos?” “Suppose they only nuked one,” Murray said ominously. “What if they focused all that nuclear energy on it? If a single irradiated iguana could turn into Godzilla, just imagine what a giant guanaco would look like. It’d be terrifying!” Zoe gave him a withering look. “The only terrifying thing about this plan is that you actually think it’s possible. Godzilla never existed!” “But maybe he could,” Murray countered. “Or worse . . . Guanacazilla!” He gave a roar that was probably supposed to be half llama, half monster, but it sounded more like an angry hamster. We all considered him for a moment. “Moving on,” Erica said. “Does anyone have a suggestion that isn’t completely idiotic?” “Ha ha,” Murray said petulantly. “You mock me now, but we’ll see who’s laughing when there’s a thirty-story guanaco running rampant through Buenos Aires.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Spy School Goes South

“Dad often said that if J.J. McCracken set his money on fire, the next day, burned dollars would be worth more than gold.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Belly Up

“Edna turned out to be the type of American who mistakenly believed the way to make herself understood to the hotel staff was to speak English very loud and slow, as if that would magically turn it into Spanish. “EXCUSE ME!” she shouted at the waiter. “CAN I HAVE A DRINK?” The waiter proffered the tray and replied in perfect English. “Of course, Mrs. Farkle.” “MOOCH-ASS GRASSY-ASS, AMIGO!” Edna yelled.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Spy School Goes South