Kayla > Kayla's Quotes

“Harry, don't go picking a row with Malfoy, don't forget, he's a prefect now, he could make life difficult for you..."
"Wow, I wonder what it'd be like to have a difficult life?" said Harry sarcastically.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“Touch her, and I'll freeze your testicles off and put them in a jar. Understand?”
― Julie Kagawa, The Iron King

“We did it, we bashed them wee Potter's the one, and Voldy's gone moldy, so now let's have fun!”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

“Well, I certainly don't," said Percy sanctimoniously. "I shudder to think what the state of my in-tray would be if I was away from work for five days."
"Yeah, someone might slip dragon dung in it again, eh, Perce?" said Fred.
"That was a sample of fertilizer from Norway!" said Percy, going very red in the face. "It was nothing personal!"
"It was," Fred whispered to Harry as they got up from the table. "We sent it.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

“I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!”
― Mark Twain

“I don't mean to be rude—" he began, in a tone that threatened rudeness in every syllable.
"Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often," Dumbledore finished the sentence gravely.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

“Lawful good to lawful evil!" said Simon, pleased.
"He's quoting Dungeons and Dragons," said Clary. "Ignore him.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

“1492. As children we were taught to memorize this year with pride and joy as the year people began living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America. Actually, people had been living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America for hundreds of years before that. 1492 was simply the year sea pirates began to rob, cheat, and kill them.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.”
― Groucho Marx

“I feel like, like pudding," Iggy groaned. "Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain.”
― James Patterson, The Angel Experiment

“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”
― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

“It’s fascinating. You know all these words, and they’re all English, but when you string them together into sentences, they just don’t make any sense.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Fallen Angels

“Is this Clarissa Fray?" The voice on the other end of the phone sounded familiar, though not immediately identifiable.
Clary twirled the phone cord nervously around her finger. "Yeees?"
"Hi, I'm one of the knife-carrying hooligans you met last night in Pandemonium? I"m afraid I made a bad impression and was hoping you'd give me a chance to make it up to-"
"SIMON!" Clary held the phone away from her ear as he cracked up laughing. "That is so not funny!"
"Sure it is. You just don't see the humor."
"Jerk." Clary sighed, leaning up against the wall.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

“I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Latin. It seems only fitting to read a dead language at my funeral.”
― Jarod Kintz, I Want

“We only came close to dying six or seven times, which I thought was pretty good. Once, I lost my grip and found myself dangling by one hand from a ledge fifty feet above the rocky surf. But I found another handhold and kept climbing. A minute later Annabeth hit a slippery patch of moss and her foot slipped. Fortunately, she found something else to put it against. Unfortunately, that something was my face.
"Sorry," she murrmured.
"S'okay," I grunted, though I'd never really wanted to know what Annabeth's sneaker tasted like.”
― Rick Riordan, The Sea of Monsters

“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
― George Burns

“Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason”
― Jerry Seinfeld

“Gym should be illegal. It's humiliating.”
― Laurie Halse Anderson, Speak

“They say that 'Guns don't kill people, people kill people.' Well I think the gun helps. If you just stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.”
― Eddie Izzard

“The entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.”
― Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites

“When we come face-to-face with one down a dark alley, we're going to be having a shufti to see if it's solid, aren't we, we're not going to be asking, 'Excuse me, are you the imprint of a departed soul?”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

“You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.”
― Bill Watterson, The Essential Calvin and Hobbes

“Stairs, are they going up or are they going down? They’re so confusing! If love were a physical thing, it would be stairs.”
― Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

“On the night of the murder I was at home, asleep. The characters in my dream can vouch for me.”
― Jarod Kintz, $3.33

“It is a damn poor mind that can think of only one way to spell a word.”
― Andrew Jackson

“Webster’s—the original high definition entertainment.”
― Jarod Kintz, At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

“It is one of those lessons that every child should learn: Don't play with fire, sharp objects, or ancient artifacts.”
― Patricia Briggs

“Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully.
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit's clever."
"And he has Brain."
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit has Brain."
There was a long silence.
"I suppose," said Pooh, "that that's why he never understands anything.”
― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

“Oh, look at that, he's heard of me. My fame grows.”
― Julie Kagawa, The Iron Queen

“She asked if I wanted to spoon with her, and I told her I didn’t want to stir things up.”
― Jarod Kintz, $3.33