Phil Mernin > Phil's Quotes

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  • #1
    Terry Pratchett
    “Scientists have calculated that the chances of something so patently absurd actually existing are millions to one.
    But magicians have calculated that million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Mort
    tags: luck, magic, science
    854 likes

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  • #2
    Mark Twain
    “The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: aliteracy, attributed-no-source, literacy
    41024 likes

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  • #3
    Douglas Adams
    “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time
    tags: deadlines, humor, humour, work, writing
    32145 likes

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  • #4
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
    148499 likes

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  • #5
    Bertrand Russell
    “The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.”
    ― Bertrand Russell
    tags: doubt, intelligent, problems, smart, stupid, world
    2397 likes

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  • #6
    Nikola Tesla
    “I don't care that they stole my idea . . I care that they don't have any of their own”
    ― Nikola Tesla
    1199 likes

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  • #7
    Terry Pratchett
    “In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies
    tags: humor, metaphysics, physics, science
    3508 likes

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  • #8
    Albert Einstein
    “Logic will get you from A to Z; imagination will get you everywhere.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: attributed-no-source, imagination
    24711 likes

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  • #9
    Terry Pratchett
    “If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards!”
    ― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic
    tags: gods, humour, religion, stupidity
    1276 likes

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  • #10
    Terry Pratchett
    “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Diggers
    tags: humor, open-mind, thinking
    21433 likes

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  • #11
    Terry Pratchett
    “Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Jingo
    tags: humor, proverb
    12938 likes

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  • #12
    Terry Pratchett
    “It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent
    tags: death, humor, life
    6731 likes

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  • #13
    Terry Pratchett
    “Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.”
    ― Terry Pratchett
    tags: fantasy, humor, imagination, literature, stories
    6681 likes

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  • #14
    Terry Pratchett
    “If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies
    tags: cats, humor, life
    5174 likes

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  • #15
    Terry Pratchett
    “It's not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing it.”
    ― Terry Pratchett
    3100 likes

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  • #16
    Terry Pratchett
    “If you have enough book space, I don't want to talk to you.”
    ― Terry Pratchett
    2973 likes

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  • #17
    Terry Pratchett
    “No! Please! I'll tell you whatever you want to know!" the man yelled.
    "Really?" said Vimes. "What's the orbital velocity of the moon?"
    "What?"
    "Oh, you'd like something simpler?”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Night Watch
    tags: absurd, humor, interrogation, police
    1975 likes

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  • #18
    Terry Pratchett
    “Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Eric
    tags: erotic, kinky, suggestive
    1505 likes

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  • #19
    Terry Pratchett
    “She was already learning that if you ignore the rules people will, half the time, quietly rewrite them so that they don't apply to you.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites
    1410 likes

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  • #20
    Terry Pratchett
    “Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather
    1287 likes

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  • #21
    Terry Pratchett
    “Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT."
    Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.”
    ― Terry Pratchett
    tags: alcohol, death, drinking, humor
    1410 likes

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  • #22
    Stephen Fry
    “Books are no more threatened by Kindle than stairs by elevators.”
    ― Stephen Fry
    tags: books, e-readers, kindle, reading
    2712 likes

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  • #23
    Stephen Fry
    “An original idea. That can't be too hard. The library must be full of them.”
    ― Stephen Fry
    tags: humor, libraries, originality
    621 likes

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  • #24
    Stephen Fry
    “The only reason people do not know much is because they do not care to know. They are incurious. Incuriousity is the oddest and most foolish failing there is.”
    ― Stephen Fry, The Fry Chronicles
    tags: foolish, foolish-people, ignorant, incuriosity, uninformed, uninformed-opinion
    504 likes

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  • #25
    Stephen Fry
    “How can one not be fond of something that the Daily Mail despises?”
    ― Stephen Fry
    tags: bigotry, conservatism, daily-mail, humour, reactionaries
    123 likes

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  • #26
    Douglas Adams
    “The major problem—one of the major problems, for there are several—one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them.
    To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it.
    To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
    tags: elections, hg2g, politics, rulers
    2909 likes

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  • #27
    “Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.”
    ― Ernest Benn
    tags: misattributed-groucho-marx, politics, problems
    2002 likes

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  • #28
    Hunter S. Thompson
    “Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.”
    ― Hunter S. Thompson
    tags: life
    2207 likes

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  • #29
    Mae West
    “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
    ― Mae West
    tags: humor, life
    119180 likes

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  • #30
    J.K. Rowling
    “If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.”
    ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
    tags: charles-bayard-mitchell
    101590 likes



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luck
magic
science
aliteracy
attributed-no-source
literacy
deadlines
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work
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infinity
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stupidity
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